Return to Work After Stroke: How Marco Calabi Rebuilt His Career, His Purpose, and His Life
At 47 years old, Marco Calabi was a DevOps engineer living in Italy – someone who spent his days automating systems, solving complex problems, and helping companies stop wasting time on repetitive tasks. He was healthy, working, paying bills, and spending time with friends. Life was normal.
Then, without warning, everything changed.
A small hole between the two chambers of Marco’s heart, a condition known as Patent Foramen Ovale, or PFO, had allowed blood flows to mix. A clot formed. It travelled to his brain. By the time his partner and sister realised something was terribly wrong, Marco was moving his arm involuntarily, unaware of what was happening to his own body.
The emergency services were called twice. The second time, they came.
Marco underwent eight hours of brain surgery. He was placed in a medically induced coma to allow his brain to rest. When he finally opened his eyes, he was on a hospital bed, and the road back had only just begun.
The Reality of Stroke at 47
Marco woke from surgery to find the right side of his body had been affected. His arm, hand, and leg were weak. His speech was impaired. He left the hospital in a wheelchair.
For many stroke survivors, this is the moment that defines everything that follows, not the stroke itself, but the first honest look at what recovery is actually going to require.
“In the beginning, I was helped in everything,” Marco recalls. “They prepared my lunch. They helped me go to the bathroom. My family never left me alone.”
His mother, his partner, his sister, and a close friend in the Netherlands all rallied around him. At home, physiotherapists and local health professionals visited him directly, a level of care he describes as incredible. Step by step, he began to reclaim his independence. First, the bathroom. Then the kitchen. Then the stairs. Each small act of autonomy arrived with a feeling he hadn’t expected: power.
“You feel good because you think you have power again,” he says. “It is a very important moment.”
Return to Work After Stroke: Why It Matters
For working-age stroke survivors, the question of whether they can return to work after stroke is one of the most pressing they face. Identity, purpose, financial security, and routine work carry all of these things, and a stroke threatens all of them at once.
For Marco, returning to work wasn’t just a financial necessity. It was evidence that his life still had forward momentum.
He went back to his role as a DevOps and Site Reliability Engineer, initially working six hours a day instead of eight. The work itself, automating processes and improving systems, remained the same. Only the pace had changed.
“I do the same things, but with different speeds,” he says simply.
That shift in pace is something many stroke survivors recognise. Recovery doesn’t demand perfection. It demands persistence.
| “The right moment is now. Not after, not tomorrow, not next week. Now.”
— Marco Calabi |
Recovery Happens in Steps
One of the most grounded things Marco shares is this: recovery cannot be rushed.
“The experience is made of steps,” he says. “You must live every step. The first steps are physical. And then your mind changes. But you must let yourself be.”
This is the part that rarely gets talked about openly. The pressure to recover quickly — to prove to yourself, your family, and your employer that you are still capable — can work against the very process you are trying to complete. Marco’s advice is to resist the urge to skip ahead. Physical recovery comes first. Mental and emotional transformation follows naturally from there.
Trying to rush past the physical phase doesn’t speed up recovery. It disrupts it.
The Book, the Purpose, and the Shift
Deep into his recovery, Marco did something unexpected. He wrote a book.
Cambio di Vita, translated into English as Life Change: To Hell and Back, is his account of what happened, what he felt, and what he learned. Available on Amazon in digital and paperback.
Writing started as a personal exercise. Somewhere in the process, its purpose shifted.
“I said, my story is useless in this moment. I can make something,” Marco explains. “And so the book has another meaning to share.”
For a man who had always found purpose through his career, the stroke opened an unexpected door. Helping others became a new calling. Speaking engagements, podcasts, and community conversations, Marco has built a new layer of meaning onto the life he already had.
His best friend told him he had become wiser. His own reflection on what changed is striking: “Heartlessness is useless. You reach the hearts of people with softness.”
What Stroke Taught Him About Life
Perhaps the most powerful thing about Marco’s story is not what he lost, but what he found.
He found that the right moment is always now, not when conditions are perfect, not when recovery is complete, but right now, with whatever capacity you currently have.
He found that family and friends matter more than most of us acknowledge until we truly need them.
He found that purpose doesn’t require a perfect body or a full working week. It requires a decision.
If you are navigating life after stroke, wondering whether you can return to work, rebuild your identity, or find meaning in what remains, Marco’s story is proof that it is possible. Not easy. Not fast. But absolutely possible.
???? If you are rebuilding your life after stroke and want a guide for the journey ahead, Bill’s book The Unexpected Way That a Brain Injury Can Change Your Life is waiting for you at recoveryafterstroke.com/book.
❤️ If this podcast has supported you, consider supporting it back at Patreon. Your contribution keeps this community growing.
FAQ: Return to Work After Stroke
Can you return to work after a stroke?
Yes, many stroke survivors do return to work, though the timeline and capacity vary depending on the severity of the stroke, the type of work, and individual recovery. Marco Calabi returned to his role as a DevOps engineer, initially working six hours a day instead of eight. The key is a gradual, supported transition.
How long does it take to return to work after a stroke?
Recovery timelines vary widely. Some survivors return within weeks; others need months or years. Factors include the type and severity of stroke, the physical and cognitive demands of the job, and the quality of rehabilitation support. There is no universal timeline. Patience and persistence matter more than speed.
What can I expect when returning to work after a stroke?
Many survivors return at reduced hours or modified duties. Adjustments to pace, task complexity, or physical demands are common. Open communication with employers and occupational therapists can help structure a gradual, sustainable return. Marco worked six-hour days and describes it simply: “I do the same things, but with different speeds.”
Does returning to work help stroke recovery?
For many survivors, returning to work contributes positively to recovery, providing routine, purpose, social connection, and a sense of forward momentum. Marco Calabi describes his return to work as evidence that life still had forward momentum. However, the timing must be right, and the transition should be gradual.
What if I can’t return to my previous job after a stroke?
Some survivors find that stroke opens doors to new kinds of purpose volunteering, writing, advocacy, or a different career direction. Marco Calabi used his recovery to write a book and speak to others about life after stroke. The key is finding what gives you meaning, even if it looks different from before. For more guidance on rebuilding life after stroke, visit recoveryafterstroke.com/book.
This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Please consult your doctor before making any changes to your health or recovery plan.
Marco Calabi — From Induced Coma to Back at Work: A Stroke Survivor’s Honest Recovery Story
At 47, Marco Calabi had a stroke caused by a hole in his heart. Today he’s back at work, has written a book, and is helping others go on.
Marco’s Facebook
Marco’s Instagram
Marco’s Book: Life Change
Highlights:
00:00 Introduction: Return to Work After Stroke
02:27 Life Before and After the Stroke
05:23 Health Awareness and Stroke Causes
09:22 The Day of the Stroke
15:02 Writing the book “Life Change: To Hell and Back”
27:51 The Importance of Support During Recovery
33:15 Gaining Autonomy and Finding Purpose
39:14 The Power of Mindset in Recovery
43:24 Life Lessons Learned Post-Stroke
47:24 Inspiring Others Through Personal Experience
Transcript:
Introduction: Return to Work After Stroke
Bill Gasiamis (00:00)
what kind of things is okay to complain about? Like in Italy, if the pasta is not cooked al dente, you must complain.
Marco Calabi (00:07)
Okay, yeah. Okay, yes, yes.
Bill Gasiamis (00:08)
you
Marco Calabi (00:13)
Okay, but you complain, you learn to complain about very important things.
Bill Gasiamis (00:24)
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Speaking of resources, if you’re rebuilding your life after stroke and want a roadmap for what comes next, my book, The Unexpected Way That a Stroke Became the Best Thing to Happen is available at recoveryafterstroke.com/book. It’s written from experience, my own and other stroke survivors. And I hope it helps you the way writing it helped me. And to everyone supporting the show Patreon, thank you genuinely.
This is not possible without you.
Now today’s guest is Marco Calabi, a DevOps engineer from Italy who had a stroke at 47 caused by a hole in his heart. He went through eight hours of brain surgery, wake up from a medically induced coma, left hospital in a wheelchair
and went on to return to work, write a book, and find a new sense of purpose.
This is a remarkable conversation. Let’s get into it.
Bill Gasiamis (02:18)
Marco Calabi welcome to the podcast
Marco Calabi (02:21)
Yes, I’m ready and thank you for your invitation.
Life Before and After the Stroke
Bill Gasiamis (02:27)
Tell me a little bit about what your life was like before you had the stroke.
Marco Calabi (02:33)
Yes, before my stroke, my life was normal, I say. Working, paying bills, going outside with friends and so on. After the stroke, everything changed because…
Bill Gasiamis (02:53)
Yeah. Did you have a,
what kind of work did you do before the stroke?
Marco Calabi (02:58)
Before the stroke, even after the stroke, I work ⁓ in computer science field. I’m a DevOps engineer. And after the stroke, I work a little less. Six hours, I can do eight hours before the stroke. But I do the same things.
I do normal things. project something about I’m very, very, very vertical in this moment. I work in a site, the reliability engineer field. my aim is to help this system to service.
to automate things. And I’m like a robot. I like a robot.
Bill Gasiamis (04:05)
to automate.
To automate things. So, okay, to automate manual processes or something like that.
Marco Calabi (04:10)
⁓ so pretty.
Yes, yes, I try
to automate everything because the people, the company now try to avoid to make the people to repeating things. because you want people…
make more important things and the repeating things are not very important. in my opinion, diminishing view of the work. And I try to make the things better in some way.
before the soak and even after the soak. I do the same things but with different speeds.
Health Awareness and Stroke Causes
Bill Gasiamis (05:23)
Yeah. With you regards to your health, how did you view your health before the stroke? Did you think you were healthy? Did you think you were well, or was there some things that you were dealing with that were related to the stroke that occurred?
Marco Calabi (05:38)
Yes, before the stroke I was healthy, but I was very worried about my health because I found a lot of health problems in my body, but the problems were not there.
because after the stroke, I did understand I was healthy in that moment. And the stroke teached me to understand my health better. yes, yes, yes.
Bill Gasiamis (06:30)
You were heavy?
Marco Calabi (06:37)
because I went out from the hospital with wheelchair. And now I’m able to walk.
Bill Gasiamis (06:51)
Aha. So
were you overweight?
Marco Calabi (06:56)
No, no, I’m not. I had a stroke maybe because the doctors doesn’t know the motive. Perhaps, perhaps it was a genetic problem in my heart because of FOP, because a small
all between the two chambers in my heart. And the mixing of the two flow bloods makes problems to the brain. And after the stroke, ⁓ the stroke happened. But I…
Bill Gasiamis (07:51)
Yeah, did they?
Did they find a hole in your heart?
Marco Calabi (07:55)
Yes, yes, and I was operated in my heart. Closing, yes, closing the hole because people suffer this common problem. But sometimes the problem is huge. A lot of people…
Bill Gasiamis (08:01)
to fix the hull.
⁓ huh.
Hmm.
Marco Calabi (08:25)
don’t suffer major problems. But sometimes it is very, very important. In my case, was very, very important because it created the mixing of the blood flows, created ⁓ a blood costrain.
to the brain and the platypus brain ⁓ created a stroke. It is the opinion of the doctors.
Bill Gasiamis (09:04)
on the
How old were
you at the time?
Marco Calabi (09:10)
I softened the stroke at 47 and now I’m 51 years old. Yes.
The Day of the Stroke
Bill Gasiamis (09:22)
41, 47 when the stroke happened. On the day of
the stroke, did you notice there was some, something wrong? Did you feel strange, feel different?
Marco Calabi (09:31)
Yes, during the stroke it was terrible because I did a lot. My mate called the emergency number and they thought it was a problem of annotation.
the neck. And my sister, because my brother called my sister, and my sister came into my house and she understood something was wrong, because I moved my arm in the air.
Bill Gasiamis (10:02)
Mm-hmm.
Marco Calabi (10:30)
And I had, sorry, because remembering these things makes me a little uncomfortable. yes, but okay. And my sister, together with my mate, decided to call again the Belgics.
and then they went to buy house and my story began.
Bill Gasiamis (11:14)
Hmm. So I’m going to go back for a moment and ask you about what just happened. You got uncomfortable. it emotional to talk about what happened to you sometimes?
Marco Calabi (11:23)
Yes, yes, yes,
because I know I never accepted this thing I’m living together with it but yes, because yes, yes, because I think
Bill Gasiamis (11:42)
Uh-huh. You haven’t accepted it yet.
Marco Calabi (11:52)
I will never accept this thing. But I try to go on. I try.
Bill Gasiamis (12:01)
Why?
Why do you think you won’t accept it? And is that helpful to not accept it?
Marco Calabi (12:08)
Because it is very hard to accept. Because it is not normal, in my opinion, to accept the bad things in life. ⁓ We must live together with them. Because…
because we must live and stop. But living gains understanding is very different. Yes.
Bill Gasiamis (12:48)
If you’ve chosen to live with it and
overcome the challenges that it gives, isn’t that a form of acceptance?
Marco Calabi (12:58)
Maybe. is, in my opinion, it is a form of acceptance. Because sooner or later I make something, I do something. And my father said it is useless to look through the ceiling.
And it is a big truth. It is useless. Your life is in your hands. And you in that moment, your life is a lot in your hands. And you must decide your future because
No people are able to help you. No other people, friends, family, relatives, and so on. You must do only with your strength and soul.
Bill Gasiamis (14:18)
Yeah. And to me, that sounds like acceptance. You have taken responsibility for the ⁓ recovery that you have to do. You’ve taken responsibility for your life. You’ve made steps to rehabilitate yourself, your emotions, your mental health. You wrote a book about what happened to you. And that sounds like you
have accepted a lot of what happened to you, even though perhaps what it sounds like you’re saying maybe, and you can correct me if I’m wrong, it sounds like you’re saying, ⁓ I’m not going to give up.
Writing the book “Life Change: To Hell and Back”
Marco Calabi (15:02)
Yes, yes, because I wrote a book because I followed a possible path because it was a path of recovering not only physical recovering but mainly mental recovery and writing the book
was very helpful for me. And I hope it is helpful for others. Because in the beginning, I wrote the book because I tried to tell my story. And then I said, my story is useless.
in this moment. I can make something. And so the book has another meaning. And because I want in this way to help, to share, to share. It is the right word.
to share my experience. Not to… to share. To share.
Bill Gasiamis (16:36)
Yeah. Life change to hell and back is the English title, but you wrote the book in Italian and then had it translated to English. Correct.
Marco Calabi (16:45)
Yes,
yes. In Italian, it is called Cambio di Vita. And in English, is ⁓ called Life Change. And to hell and back is the subtitle, because I went to tell.
it was an help for me and perhaps I come back to tell to share to the others what I saw and what I did feel and I hope this experience will help in some way other people.
Bill Gasiamis (17:17)
Mm-hmm.
Understand.
Your journey started after the second time the emergency services were called to your house. What happened after that? Did they come to your house and then they took you to hospital? Did they treat you at your house? What happened?
Marco Calabi (17:59)
No, no, the physiotherapist and the therapist went to my house because I was not able to go to the hospital again. And then Italian hospitals decided to come directly.
to my house and help me in my house. And so physiotherapists and local beauties, they were incredible. They were very, very professional and very, very helpful for me. Helped me to recover a little my body.
in my speech.
Bill Gasiamis (18:59)
Before the recovery, I just wanted to understand what happened when you were having the stroke, the day of the stroke. your sister called the emergency services a second time. Did they take you to hospital to understand what was wrong?
Marco Calabi (19:14)
Yes.
Yes,
and I was operated immediately because my brain started to grow. And then I was operated because they didn’t want to…
Bill Gasiamis (19:23)
huh.
Expand.
Marco Calabi (19:47)
to have to experience later problems. And they operated to me for eight hours. And then I was inducted with a comma.
because my brain needed to rest. And then I woke up on a bed looking around and seeing people. And I remember
I remembered a woman said, it is time to walk. And with a lot of difficulty, I started to walk. And then I was transferred to another hospital.
to specialize ⁓ in stroke recovering. And there I was there for two months.
Bill Gasiamis (21:10)
Mm-hmm.
And what were the deficits you needed to get rehabilitated from? Did you have problems with your body, with your limbs, with your, what was the problem?
Marco Calabi (21:27)
Problems
with the walk, problems with the speaker.
a problem to it because I was, I don’t know, it is visible. Yes, yes, because during the search they opened a hole. ⁓
Bill Gasiamis (21:47)
⁓ trick you trick you asked me
Marco Calabi (22:05)
And then the wall remains open for all of that time. And then I was eliminated from this wall. And one month later, the wall was…
All was closed.
Bill Gasiamis (22:36)
Okay, so you had the chocostomy in for a long time and ⁓ they removed the chocostomy, then the hole is there, takes a month to close.
Marco Calabi (22:39)
Yes. Yes.
Yes, yes,
yes. And my mate says it seems a cross. I don’t know, I don’t. Okay, Why not?
Bill Gasiamis (22:56)
It seems across. ⁓ Why not? Yeah. So,
so you had to also learn to walk again, which side of your body was impacted by the stroke, which one was it your left side or your right side that didn’t work.
Marco Calabi (23:14)
my
right side my right side my leg my arms my arms my hands and okay all the right side and ⁓ i am weaker to the right side and okay
Bill Gasiamis (23:16)
Mm-hmm.
Waker.
Marco Calabi (23:38)
In the beginning, I was not able to write. And then after a long, very long training, I am able to write again. Very, very slowly, but I am able.
Bill Gasiamis (24:00)
Mm hmm.
And when you were in hospital, what was the hardest part of the recovery for you? Did you, when you started walking again, what was that like?
Marco Calabi (24:14)
In the hospital, never stop, always on the wheelchair. And I stop when I come back home. But yes. No, no, no, no.
Bill Gasiamis (24:38)
You stood up when you came back home, but in rehabilitation, you didn’t stand up.
Marco Calabi (24:44)
very very sad. very very sad. ⁓ Above all in the transportation for example from the wheelchair to the bed or do an exercise bicycle maybe but stop stop stop.
⁓ I remembered sometimes they tried to make me walk on the stairs, very, very, very few stairs, and tried to make ⁓
me walk in corridors and stuff.
Bill Gasiamis (25:48)
Okay and your arm, your right arm, you couldn’t use it at the shoulder and the hand, is that what the problem was?
Marco Calabi (25:58)
Yeah, I can use it. I can use it. It is weaker. A little weaker. But I can use it in this moment. When I was in the hospital, my right arm had problems. Because ⁓
the mobility was limited. And after two months, I was able to move it freely. And now I’m able to move it again in every direction.
Bill Gasiamis (26:49)
Hmm. ⁓
Very good.
When you came home from hospital, who was at home with you? Were you living alone or did you have some family with you?
Marco Calabi (26:58)
No, no, no, with my family, with my sister and with my mate because my sister and my mate never leave me alone. Leave me alone. they encouraged me. Thanks God because… ⁓
I think in this moment, family, friends, relatives, mates are very, very important. Above all, in this moment.
Bill Gasiamis (27:44)
Was there somebody that helped guide you through the recovery? Someone that stepped up and you had a lot of support from?
The Importance of Support During Recovery
Marco Calabi (27:51)
My
Yes, my friends. Above all, one of my friends who lives in the Netherlands because he was very worried about my health. And my bait talked to him to synchronize
him about my condition and after and when I went back home he was very very very present and he was very very he was a very good friend.
Bill Gasiamis (28:52)
understand. So he came, supported you, was very present when you came back home. Yeah.
Marco Calabi (29:00)
Yes, yes, yes.
Above all, my mom, my sister, my baby, obviously, my friends. Because in this moment, it is a moment you understand very well the friends.
more close in the friends
maybe, ⁓ maybe are fearful of your situation.
Bill Gasiamis (29:44)
Yes, yes, very much. Lots of people get fearful ⁓ when somebody they know how to stroke, they don’t know how to help and what to do.
Marco Calabi (29:53)
Yes, because I think it is natural. I understand it is natural because the first thing a friend, a person who knows you in things is what I can do.
And she is very fearful because the situation is huge. And I understand in this moment, in that moment, you understand very well the people. And you understand very well the quality.
Bill Gasiamis (30:39)
Yes.
Marco Calabi (30:46)
Yes, you are the same. You are the same.
Bill Gasiamis (30:47)
your friends.
Yeah, very common,
very common. Doesn’t matter if you live in Italy, America, Australia, experience is very similar. People have very similar ⁓ reporting about friendships.
Marco Calabi (30:59)
Yes, I don’t think
it is different from country to country because we are human being and stop and and stop. ⁓
Bill Gasiamis (31:08)
you
People are people.
What kind of things did you need help with at home? Could you go to the bathroom on your own? Could you eat on your own? What help was your family providing you?
Marco Calabi (31:28)
Yes, in the beginning I was helped in everything because they prepared my lunch, ⁓ they helped me to go to the bathroom, they
face outside the door, checking the situation. Okay, okay, okay. I understand, okay. And then, with time, I conquered my autonomy. Because, for example, going to the bathroom, cooking something.
Bill Gasiamis (31:58)
Thank God.
Thanks a lot.
Marco Calabi (32:22)
and doing my pet and so on. It is very important because in these moments you say to yourself, I’m able again.
My life is not useless. It is silly to say. I know. It is very, very silly to say. But…
Bill Gasiamis (32:54)
in the moment,
it’s probably okay in the moment, but now on reflection, it’s silly to say that, but at the moment it’s difficult and it’s a emotional experience and it’s a relief that you have and you have some autonomy now again, and you feel good about it. So yeah.
Gaining Autonomy and Finding Purpose
Marco Calabi (33:01)
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Yes,
yes, you feel good because you think you have a power again. I don’t know. And it is a moment. It is a very important moment for you. I understand. I understand the luckiness.
able to know because other people ⁓ has no luck ⁓ like me. Like me. And I understand. And this thing makes me run because, OK, I’m lucky and so I want
Bill Gasiamis (33:55)
Mm-hmm.
Marco Calabi (34:11)
I want to help others because I’m black. And so.
Bill Gasiamis (34:16)
Yes,
have luck. You have a bit of luck on your side. You are improving. You’re getting better. You have autonomy. Again, you want to help other people because it’s important.
Marco Calabi (34:25)
Yes, very. In my opinion, it is very, very important because life otherwise is meaningless.
you have to give some meaning to your life. And the stroke in some way helped me to discover my possible goal in my life.
Bill Gasiamis (34:44)
Yeah.
calling in life, understand. So you didn’t get married, you didn’t have a family.
Marco Calabi (35:09)
No, I never married, but I have made a girlfriend for, I don’t know, 11, 12 years. We are like married. No, no, no, no.
Bill Gasiamis (35:28)
Okay, but you didn’t have children. Okay.
So for you made a good point about purpose and meaning in life and helping other people. If you’re, if you don’t have family to, ⁓ fuss over to ⁓
to help out, to support, et cetera, when they’re young, like children, it could be a little bit of a gap in your life about purpose and meaning. And now that you had the stroke, you found that supporting other people provides you with some additional purpose and meaning above your relationship as well with your partner.
Marco Calabi (35:50)
Yes.
Yes.
Yes, because not ⁓ having keys makes me available, let me see, help others who have keys and maybe ⁓ they are busy, too busy.
Bill Gasiamis (36:22)
Yeah.
Marco Calabi (36:35)
for other things and I try to make ⁓ my life helpful for those ones.
Bill Gasiamis (36:46)
Yeah, you have
more spare time and you can allocate that to helping other people. Yeah. So, you know, the
Marco Calabi (36:50)
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Bill Gasiamis (36:59)
You talk very positively about your recovery. You’re focusing on all the positive things. You wrote a book. You want to help other people. But was there some times that you really struggled, that you had a really hard time and you needed more support emotionally or mentally?
Marco Calabi (37:18)
both of things. I had ⁓ moments with a lot of climate.
Bill Gasiamis (37:21)
Both.
crying, yeah, very common.
Marco Calabi (37:32)
because
⁓ in those moments I was ⁓
I saw my life had problems. And for example, my mother’s teach me again ⁓ to wake on the shoes. And so in that moment, I…
was I was ⁓
I… ⁓
I understood my situation very deeply. And why I wanted to prove it? Because every day I wanted to go on and every day I wanted to progress because I don’t want to live
was moments again. I would like to make my life better.
Bill Gasiamis (39:06)
Uh-huh. Understand. Yeah. But it was difficult to make your life better because you’re just in the recovery phase. You’re very restricted. Things are difficult.
The Power of Mindset in Recovery
Marco Calabi (39:14)
Yes.
It is very, very, important the presence of your family, of your friends, because otherwise I would not be here. ⁓
Bill Gasiamis (39:40)
Yeah, that helped to bring you back.
Marco Calabi (39:41)
Yes, yes.
And then after their help, you must help yourself. Because I understand, I understand you have everything to complain, but complaining is useless. It’s useless.
Bill Gasiamis (39:54)
as well.
Marco Calabi (40:09)
Complaining is natural, but it must be very short. A moment of self-reflection, a moment and stop. And then you must do something for yourself and stop. Stop to look to the ceiling.
This useless. I wanted to say this useless.
Bill Gasiamis (40:45)
Yeah, I agree. But it’s something we all do. We all find ourselves complaining about our situation, but as long as you don’t stay there for a long amount of time, you can do the complaint and then move on and continue looking at things that you…
Marco Calabi (40:57)
Hmm. Hmm.
Yes, Complaining is not
a part, it’s a mainly part of my spirit. I complain ⁓ very, very few times. I understand people are different and the complaining is different, but…
You must very, very, very aware of your situation and this stroke maybe makes you aware, more aware about yourself, about your problems, about your weakness and starting, starting, I interline, starting.
from that you can go on.
Bill Gasiamis (42:04)
You can go on. Yeah, I agree.
When you complain about things, like what kind of things is okay to complain about? Like in Italy, if the pasta is not cooked al dente, you must complain.
Marco Calabi (42:23)
Okay, yeah. Okay, yes, yes.
Bill Gasiamis (42:24)
you
It’s important. You have to tell the chef, I’m sorry, the pasta is
not al dente. You have to take it back.
Marco Calabi (42:35)
Okay, but you complain, you learn to complain about very important things. Yes.
Bill Gasiamis (42:46)
Yes,
it’s feedback. It’s not complaining. It’s feedback. My food is not al dente and I need you to make it again so I can eat it because I can’t eat like this. It’s too cooked.
Marco Calabi (42:51)
What?
I
never was, I never liked a very, very precious food and I ate everything. I tasted everything, I ate everything. Even in the hospital, I ate everything.
Life Lessons Learned Post-Stroke
Bill Gasiamis (43:24)
Is Italian hospital food good or is it terrible?
Marco Calabi (43:31)
It is a hospital book. And so it is very light. It is very, very, very simple. And it is very teachable. it is not a good book.
Bill Gasiamis (43:43)
Yeah.
Yeah. You spoke a little bit earlier about how you have to go on with your life. So looking back now, how have you changed the way that you go about your life? How do you do things differently now?
Marco Calabi (44:15)
everything, everything, everything. I looked at the life in different way because I put the things in different priorities, working, having good time with friends and so on. Because before stroke you…
to think about the things you do every day, but you don’t do that. Those ones. Then after the stroke, you start to do immediately the things. You don’t want to wait for
things, the right moment and stop. Because the right moment, you understand, is now, not after, not tomorrow, not the next week. Now, it is a new way of singing life. You stop to wake because
you understand time is very very precious.
Bill Gasiamis (45:50)
Yeah, and we may not have tomorrow. Understand.
Marco Calabi (45:53)
Yes, yes,
you must do the things now and stop. As you can. You must not be a Superman. You must not do ⁓ things, a lot of things. You must do what you can and stop. But you must do.
Bill Gasiamis (46:24)
Yeah.
Marco Calabi (46:25)
and
stop. Not tomorrow, not in one week, and not in one month. Now. You must do now. And stop. Never you understand, never stop you.
Bill Gasiamis (46:47)
Yeah, I agree. Once you have a stroke, you realize that you are mortal and that maybe you don’t have…
Marco Calabi (46:53)
It’s just…
Bill Gasiamis (46:58)
another 50 years or 40 years ahead of you. maybe you need to do, take more action, do more things, have the experiences you want to experience, whatever you can, I agree. ⁓ It’s something I think that is a good way to inspire people who have had a stroke, who have injuries, that you can find a way to do something that you want to do that you haven’t done.
Inspiring Others Through Personal Experience
Marco Calabi (47:24)
Yes.
Bill Gasiamis (47:24)
that
you love. very important to try and get it done, find a way to make it happen. Even if you’re in a wheelchair, even if it’s difficult, even if you need a lot of planning, you know, has to be something that you tick, you tick off your list of things to do.
Marco Calabi (47:42)
And it is not important what type of disease you suffer, cancer, stroke, leukemia, so on. It is, in my opinion, very important your mind, the way your mind, the way…
Bill Gasiamis (48:10)
your minds.
Marco Calabi (48:10)
want you, your mindset, the way you want to go on and stop. But I want, I want, I want to tell my story. Maybe, tell. If I am able to go on, everyone is able to go on.
Bill Gasiamis (48:19)
Yeah.
Marco Calabi (48:41)
It is not something special. Everyone can go to work and so
Bill Gasiamis (48:51)
Yeah, I agree. Everyone should go on with their life in some capacity as much as they can. ⁓
Yeah, that’s excellent. What about strengths? What have you discovered in yourself that you didn’t know was there? Did you uncover some new powers, some new strength, some better understanding of what you’re capable of? Has it been a learning experience for you to
Marco Calabi (49:05)
Okay.
Yes.
Yes, after the writing of my books was a moment of reflection because in that moment I asked to myself, I’m able to write a book, so what can block me?
And in this moment, in that moment, I was able to do other things. Maybe here write another book, like choosing a social media manager for my Facebook and Instagram and asking.
to hospitals and associations to tell my stories, creating podcasts and so on because writing the book created a moment, a precise moment of going forward. And in that moment, I aware.
of my powers and my skills to go on. It was…
Bill Gasiamis (51:02)
Yeah. Yeah. You wrote a book,
you did podcasts, you helped your community by speaking. You did all these things that you haven’t done before the stroke.
Marco Calabi (51:10)
Yes.
Yes, and for example, now I’m discussing with a company for a possible speech of myself to inspire other people. And I’m telling the truth. I’m very, very happy because I hope this…
Bill Gasiamis (51:30)
Yeah.
Marco Calabi (51:41)
will ⁓ create something beautiful because I’m available to tell my story, to sell, perhaps something helpful. My best friend.
Bill Gasiamis (52:01)
Yeah, you know what I like about what I like about strokes and bio-codes?
Sorry, go ahead.
Marco Calabi (52:08)
My
best friend said, you are wiser. I don’t know. don’t know. I don’t know. Yes, yes. Before, was very hard. I was very, because my father was very hard. And I learned.
Bill Gasiamis (52:19)
Wiser. Wiser than before. Maybe.
Marco Calabi (52:37)
to be very hard. after the stroke, understood that heartless is useless because you reach the hearts of people with softness, not with heartlessness. Heartlessness makes ⁓ you more hateful.
and not more lovable.
Bill Gasiamis (53:10)
Yeah, understand. Yes, I agree. Very wise. That’s very wise. Very wise. ⁓ You know what I like about your telling your story in for another organization or to inspire people is a lot of the people in the audience will not have had a stroke or another health issue or anything like that.
Marco Calabi (53:11)
Go on, go on, sorry.
Yes.
Bill Gasiamis (53:37)
And what I like about it is that now there’s several years have passed since your stroke. So you’re standing on a stage telling your story. And one day, if those people happen to have a stroke or a negative medical experience, they have a picture in their mind of once upon a time, I was sitting in a room and there was this gentleman who…
told his story and he was telling us about how he overcame his challenges, how he ⁓ improved, how he got better. And maybe those people who are unwell now because something happened to them, like everybody in life, things go wrong. Maybe they could say, I remember that man and the story that he told me, and maybe I can take some action and do similar things and get better.
Marco Calabi (54:27)
Mm-hmm.
Bill Gasiamis (54:32)
like he did.
Marco Calabi (54:32)
Yes. I tell the truth. It is not easy. It’s not easy. The experience is made of steps. In steps, steps. In the beginning, I…
Bill Gasiamis (54:50)
steps.
Marco Calabi (54:58)
You want to prove yourself, you are able to do things. And these are very important to you. And then you change. Steps, you change. Because the situation is changing. And you cannot, cannot,
get things before you experience all the steps. It is, in my opinion, impossible. You must live every step. The first steps are physical. And then your mind changes.
But the first steps are physical and soft.
and you can you must you must us us us let that eat you must us let you be because you are not a superman you are not a special man and every every person experience these steps little by little and so
you must aware of this situation. Otherwise, try to go forward faster. And in my opinion, it is a very wrong way to go on.
Bill Gasiamis (56:55)
Very wise, my friend.
Marco Calabi (56:56)
Thank
you, thank you! Thank you, thank you!
Bill Gasiamis (57:03)
Your friend was correct when he said that you are much more wise now. I agree with him.
Marco Calabi (57:07)
Okay,
okay, okay. I will report you.
Bill Gasiamis (57:15)
Report back to him, let him know that I agree with him. Now, your book is available online, correct? We can get it on Amazon, everywhere.
Marco Calabi (57:21)
Yes.
Okay. Because in Italy, ⁓ I found a publisher. In the world, I decided to publish myself the book because I wanted to spread my story.
as full as possible, I would say. And so I think what is the best platform, in my opinion, it is in this moment, Amazon. Because it can provide a digital version, paper version. ⁓
Bill Gasiamis (58:07)
Yeah.
Marco Calabi (58:18)
is only for US countries and so on. Instead, digital fashion is worldwide. And so, it is very powerful because I can reach every person in the world.
Bill Gasiamis (58:44)
Yes, hopefully.
Marco Calabi (58:45)
It was
my idea. And I started and I make my book translated. I published it in Amazon. I created a digital paperback version and so on because I wanted to make it available.
Very, very much.
Bill Gasiamis (59:19)
Yes, indeed. you have well done. I’m going to have a link to the Amazon ⁓ book. And also you will send me some links to ⁓ any other areas you would like us to send people if they’re interested to find out more information about it. I thank you for reaching out and joining me on the podcast. I very much appreciate it. It’s nice to meet you and to hear your story and all the best with your ongoing recovery.
Marco Calabi (59:24)
Okay.
Okay.
Thanks.
Yes.
Okay, and I say thank you, thank you, Bayard for your time, people, and thank you very much to tell my story and to give me the possibility to tell my story.
Bill Gasiamis (1:00:08)
Well, what a lovely conversation and what a journey and what wisdom to our listeners. If today’s episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it. Leave a comment and leave a review. Subscribe if you haven’t already. Marco’s book, Life Change to Hell and Back is available on Amazon. The link is in the description below. And remember, if you want to stay on top of the latest stroke research without the overwhelm, turnto.ai has you covered.
just $2 a week use code bill for 10 % off. Link is in the description
And until next time, keep going.
