No Need To Apologize

Transcription:

Bill Gasiamis 0:00
Bill from recoveryafterstroke.com today I want to talk about emotions and stroke. And I had a conversation today with a stroke survivor, who’s only about eight months post-stroke, and is still finding herself becoming emotional when she talks about different aspects of her stroke experience.

Bill Gasiamis 0:22
And every time she did get emotional, there was a flood of tears and the usual stuff when, you know, you see somebody cry, but there was also an apology for crying. And I’m wondering, What is it with that need to apologize?

Bill Gasiamis 0:37
And I’ve been there before and I suppose I apologized in the past for crying. And now I’m wondering why do people do it? And I’m curious to know why do you think that you need to apologize for crying. I tell you what, it’s definitely not necessary to apologize for crying. In fact, it’s probably better to let the cry out and not apologize for crying because what you’re doing is you’re actually connecting to your heart.

Bill Gasiamis 1:04
And maybe for some people, it’s the first time that the heart has been able to really, truly express itself about how it’s feeling and what’s going on at the moment. And I find myself even eight years down the track, when I’m in a situation where I need to talk about the stroke, that sometimes I get really emotional.

Bill Gasiamis 1:23
And it’s often when I’m talking about my experience with my family. And it’s often when I’m talking to large crowds. For example, the last time that happened to me was at a lecture, which was at a university in front of a couple of hundreds of occupational therapy students, and I started to cry.

Bill Gasiamis 1:42
Now, I didn’t apologize. As I’ve got older and post stroke for longer years for a longer amount of time. I am not apologizing to people for crying. Basically what I’m doing is allowing myself to cry, and I’m finding myself that I’m able to compose myself just a little bit quicker than I used to at the beginning, I’m able to breathe through it and as soon as I focus on my breathing, I’m able to overcome the need to cry.

Bill Gasiamis 2:11
But let me tell you something, it really does make a massive impact on the people listening to my presentation because they realize that this thing is something that’s really deeply impacting me. And it’s making a massive difference to how I feel. The other thing is that because I’m not somebody who has a visual of stroke, in that you can’t see that I’ve had a stroke in any way other than the scar on the side of my head.

Bill Gasiamis 2:43
People don’t associate me as somebody who’s had a stroke and it’s somebody that might be experiencing the symptoms of stroke or, the after effects of a stroke. So that’s a really good way to drive the message home that I have experienced something it has been traumatic or has been serious. And it does impact me negatively.

Bill Gasiamis 3:03
And that crying is a visual way for me to get that message across. So, do me a favor, post a comment down below and let me know if you after stroke have noticed yourself becoming more emotional, and when you notice that emotion, and if you have the tendency to apologize to people for your crying.

Bill Gasiamis 3:26
Once again, I’m going to just finish up by saying, do not apologize for crying, especially if you’re talking about your stroke. It’s a way of allowing you to connect to what’s really important to you. And it’s a way of allowing you to get rid of some of that traumatic experience that has been created after you ended up experiencing a stroke.