Delphine Supanya is a trained lawyer who experienced a stroke at the ripe old age of 28. She now works to raise awareness about the risks of working in stressful environments and runs programs that help increase wellness in the workplace.
What was your mindset like when you woke up and you discovered that you’re paralyzed on the right side?
Well for me it was, I was expecting it because it was in my hallucination. So because of the autoimmune condition I had, I had spent a lot of time in the medical care system and I was done I was actually really then I was thinking of a 20 to 40 pills weekly different kinds of medication before the stroke as well and having all these allergic reactions so for me, I was really although I’m very grateful for the love and care that the whole medical system has given me over the years and in a way that a second family and it’s always been a second family they did their best and the limitations that they were given of their own education and knowledge and and the limits of the as well like and in the same way I have limitations to what I share..
This is recovery after stroke with Bill Gasiamis helping you go from where you are to where you’d rather be
This is Bill Gasiamis from recoveryafterstroke.com and with me today is Delphine Supanya. Delphine became a stroke survivor at the ripe old age of 28 and now works to raise awareness about the risks of working too much in the legal community in Singapore. Welcome Delfine. It’s, lovely to have you on the podcast all the way from Singapore.
Thank you for having me.
Bill Gasiamis 1:37
Yeah, my pleasure. We had a little bit of a chat about a week ago. And I just couldn’t believe the similarities that you and I both spoke about and experience during stroke and now in recovery, and also in the raising awareness space. Before we get into that discussion for the viewers, and the listeners tell me a little bit about what happened.
Okay, so April 2016, I had a series of strokes that left me paralyzed on the right side and made me completely changed my life. How it came about was a series of different events, including high stress at work, very long work hours, I guess depression from the long work hours being in a building and not outside for very, very long time a sick parents and also was suffering from an autoimmune condition called fibromyalgia that got worse because of the lifestyle I was leading.
Bill Gasiamis 2:49
Wow. how does one at 28 years old, get caught up into such a dramatic time in their life. Like, how do you get to that point where there’s so much going on, and you’re not aware of until something goes wrong?
Well, I guess, because the main occupation that I had was to not show how ill I was, that I had an autoimmune condition and I’ve learned a lot of different meditation techniques and mindfulness techniques based in Buddhism and Vipassana, Buddhism especially. And I was using those techniques to master mind over matter. So to find ways to maximize the use of my brain to get five different law degrees and three countries and practice in four countries and overachieving on all those levels because I thought, well, if my body is not functioning perfectly, what can I do to have my mind just exceed expectations as best as I could?
And so that pushed it in a way where my mind and my body understood the power of the mind to override the body, but there was no spirit connection. And there was no purpose and soul. And there was actually no alignment of the three main things, which is mind, body, and spirit and how I got to Yeah, burnout it’s just because i was ignoring my body and pushing and pushing and pushing for the sake of over performing with my mind. I guess also in the aftermath of the financial crises, and the fact that everybody is working and, you know, wanting to achieve their ambitions and wanting to take all tick boxes, we also had the constant pressure of losing our jobs in the next turnover of the financial crisis, or, and there was a big understanding that there was another person that would be there to take your job.
So again, into this wheel of constantly performing and also being stressed about losing that job. And so working longer hours wanting to prove more when actually hay you do take the time for yourself and take care of yourself, you survive in the industry, you don’t burn out and you don’t push yourself at all. So and I’m noticing today that no one actually dies. If actually people survive if you take time for yourself, and you yourself do that if you keep pushing, there’s not someone else’s that dies it’s actually you. I think the main lesson that I learned from this experience. All in all, I’m really grateful it happens because I got to completely change my life discover so many things about how to heal and non allopathic way or or combining allopathic medicine and natural health. So I’ll share those
Bill Gasiamis 6:02
Yeah, it’s beautiful stuff that ensures prayer for talk about them. I want to go back a little bit where you talked about Buddhism. You know I’ve been to a couple of Buddhist temples and the chill you out when you walk in, they are similar to a lovely cathedral or any other place of worship and when you go in there you feel chilled out. But I was always have the impression that Buddhism was a little bit more connected to body and spirit. And it wasn’t about using, you know, the Buddhist teachings to overcome the body. And you know, the feelings that you’re getting from your body to use your head, how did you get to, am I right? Firstly, and then if I’m right, that it’s more of a spiritual type of practice, how did you get to convert it to this practice to overcome the body and use the mind to push through all these challenges that you have?
Well, and meditation really what meditation means is concentration or focus. So with, through meditation practices, and there are so many different ones. And I’m going to demystify meditation just now it is not mind being completely still, it can happen, but it’s really not always the states. And sitting and absolute stillness is also not what meditation is all about. And so it is learning different practices to focus on one thing, have the mind body and soul basically focus on one thing, and then our societies our minds are taught to multitask, we’re constantly hearing other things with some people are on their phones, and talking and drinking and eating and there’s something else going on in the background. And then there are people if you live in a busy city.
On top of that you have constant movement and and this overstimulation constantly and so meditation helps you focus on one of those things and, and the tools to help you to zoom in on one of those things and make, distract yourself actually or detach yourself from everything else is going on. So that you can just really focus on one thing and in that once you practice is like a martial you start as a white belt and there’s a black belt has to be reached and there are different steps and different things that you can learn. And having a still mind with the body, which is an absolute stillness is black is what I would say, the black belt level.
And so my mom is a Vipassana buddhist and having been raised partly in Thailand, I got to experience all of these over like 200 meditation practices that include walking meditation, sounds meditation, toning, chanting, active meditation, so those things where the body actually moves practices like Tai Chi or Chi Gong are meditation practices. And actually any anything you do with concentration is an essential part of my daily life. And, and daily self care practice at the time was to wake up and practice these things, so that I would not be in my body and it made me really understand the power of our mind and how what we can create. Up until this stroke, I didn’t understand the mind body spirit alignment, and then became very clear once the stroke happened, which is how I felt to reverse all the conditions and heal within three months.
Bill Gasiamis 9:49
Okay, it sounds like the standard typical journey of most people living in Western society and perhaps they haven’t gone to the lengths that you have to forget about the body, get out of the body. Use the mind to overcome your challenges, or weaknesses, for lack of a better word. I’m not sure what the word is. But it’s very typical of what we all do. We all find our way, a way to focus on the end goal, and all at almost no matter what costs and it was certainly my experience, that’s what I did, I almost got to that end goal of being in successful in business and having a car a big house and all that kind of stuff.
And the journey to get there was at the expense of almost everything else, going to time with my family time, enjoying myself time relaxing, time de-stressing. It was always about making clients happy always about doing things for other people, and never once for myself. And I still feel guilty about doing things for myself, until I had a similar experience where one day I woke up, and I couldn’t go to work anymore. And I had to tell people, in fact, I am physically incapable of getting to your job, I am in hospital i am sick, and I just cannot get there. Tell me a little bit about the days that led up to your experience with stroke, what was happening for you. And then what happened after that.
Okay, so I was working in London for five years, very, very fast paced. And then I moved back to Singapore where I grew up, because my father was suffering from stage four cancer. And, so I took this other job and started it. And it very much became like the job in London. And I had believed and assumed that it wouldn’t the same and that would be different. But we, we, we fall into old patterns so easily. And so as about performing and juggling the family psychologically, it was really stressful because I went home to care for my family and be with them. But actually, it wasn’t so rosy at home. So I made sure to avoid going on most days and made myself stay at work whilst handling my own issues with my own my own disease that got worse actually.
So my muscles and my nervous system was so tense from the work the stress and the lifestyle that my nervous system was constantly on alert, all my muscles would be very tense, and any movement would make them tear. So every time I would lift a finger, my arm, I would feel the micro tears and being this incredible, amount of pain. So the meditation techniques that I was using to master mind of a matter, Mind Over body started to stop working. And so I started getting codeine treatments. morphine treatments, then my, it got so bad that my psoas tore, which is the biggest muscle in the body, and then I was in a chair and so for until it recovered with muscles, you have to simply wait unless you have a full tear, they will do surgery and sew it back on. But if it’s a partial tear, and then just have to wait and takes time.
And so plus, Yeah, my my work situation wasn’t rosie and easy. With my supervisor, we had a very contractual relationship. So I think it was just really fed up and send my body into absolute overdrive, having had, and overcome a lot of burnouts in the five years prior and thinking, Oh, well, it’s just one i’ll recover from because really, that’s what the kind of thinking we go into. Once you’ve recovered from one you think, Oh, well, it didn’t kill me, so I can go become the next one. But at some point, actually, there is a physical limit to what your body can actually take. And so I wanted to resign and then to go on unpaid medical leave. And two weeks after I resigned the stroke. So I went to hospital and was admitted because I was having strokes.
I’ve learned since that actually, there are symptoms, they started way earlier. And, and I didn’t recognise them at the time that they really i felt, well, something is extremely wrong, I should go back to hospital. And yeah I was admitted, I don’t really remember the time I only remember a very long, long vision, dream or hallucination and waking up paralysed.
Bill Gasiamis 14:55
Tell me about the hallucination.
So I got to experience what today call on unattached associations. So I met other parts of me, including my mind, my body, my spirit, and other archetypes are what psychology calls archetypes of me and like a round table setting. And we discussed and talked a lot about why it was worth keeping on living. Because I at the time was done.
I remember being whatever I consciousness is here right now talking I mean I want to die. This is not worth continuing. And the other parts of me explaining to me why I shouldn’t die, I should stay alive. Why Actually, it’s a privilege to be alive, how we are all gifts as human beings and here to share something with the world, our own gifts, not someone else’s, not a copy of someone else’s really our own authentic gifts. And, and they showed me everything I needed to do to recover from the paralysis that I was going to get and to reverse my autoimmune condition. And so yeah, it was a strenuous and arduous journey, because a second inner negotiation really talking to all of these other faces that look like me.
Yeah. And, and, and then I woke up and, and I was paralyzed completely on the right side I had, normal ability in my in my hand, my face, my legs, and I started applying them. And I said to myself, Well, you know what, if this works, I’ll spend the rest of my life fine tuning it and sharing it. And here I am
Bill Gasiamis 16:52
Such a great thing. But you’re here to share it. That’s a really interesting vision, or hallucination that you had. I have similar discussions with other people who have experienced something similar call it out of body or something else going on, something bigger than us, or maybe something within us. And no one’s been really able to pinpoint what it was always very similar kind of feeling, but different, unique experiences. Because probably makes I mentioned, we will have literally versions of that I didn’t experience anything like that. But isn’t it amazing how your body can still in the midst of dispair, and the most deepest, darkest place still send you messages of, you know, hope of overcoming, of moving forward.
And I think the body does tend to send us those messages before we get into that spot where we’re really struggling with life and potentially going to check out of it. And this is the amazing thing about the work that you’re doing that because I think we, you’re sort of working at that point where we’re trying to engage people to receive those messages beforehand. Is that correct in what I’m saying? Is that kind of the space that you’re interested in working in?
Yes. And actually, our body is alive all the time, even though is we’re talking, you know, energy spend for hearts to beat and pump our blood and oxygen and nutrients through our bodies. And we don’t even realize that we’re breathing, the heart was beating. And so the body natural state is to be aligned, and we are alive. But our mind seems to have forgotten and and and whilst we’re getting so busy doing other things that our mind forgets about everything that is beautiful. And life becomes Shades of Grey, instead of being colorful. And so yes, most of the work I’m doing now is in big cities, with professionals in the financial and legal world and very busy, very busy environments.
And we explore and reignite that aliveness within, through what I call it in a voyage integration, which is basically a meditation that teaches you to access your subconscious mind and, and feel the alignment of mind, body and soul and starting that conversation with these points of view and re-establish communication pathways with all of these different parts of yourself. So that actually, when there’s something that you should not be doing, even when you’re really healthy, you know, and then you know, how to listen to the messages that are coming through all the time, actually, but it’s in my work, it’s more of a physical like, it will reconnect to the body. So it’s like so i have an example, I go to a place and all of a sudden, my stomach, you know, this, just like, Oh, yeah, it’s at all I’m in pain. And I shouldn’t be going, it was like, Oh, well, some of my body is trying to prevent me from going to this, this place, and meet the specific person
It has reasons maybe that I don’t understand with my mind, their techniques to understand, I find, sometimes it’s not even worth trying to understand. But just trusting that our body knows best and, and is really here to live and to want to be alive. So anything that we do, and is not in line with our body, our body will send us a message. And there was some subtle messages. And after a while, it will start sending stronger messages. And those strong messages or sickness, our pains, cramps, indigestion, and then they will start being called be. And then they’ll start if you stay in a situation which your body does not want you to stay in, because it’s not aligned with body and usually, soul you will start getting very sick. And then you’ll go to hospitals to all these tests, and come back normal. And then you will be diagnosed with some sort of autoimmune condition. But you’re still saying, and all of the, in this environment with all of these factors that make your body stressed, and it just means you shouldn’t be there. So yeah, so the way that I’m doing now is to help people learn these pathways, again, how to listen, so that actually, they know and reconnect with this natural intelligence. Because when you do connect with the natural intelligence, your body will tell you how to get out of it, how to heal from it, and what to do next, which is extremely interesting.
Bill Gasiamis 21:43
There’s a beautiful book that I’ve read, called mBraining, using your multiple brains to do cool stuff. And what it explores is explores what you know, science is discussing now and talking about now, more, more specifically, in that we have an intelligence in our gut. And that intelligence is made up of neurons, it is, you know, where serotonin is created is where all the all the things that we require to keep our brain healthy occur. And when I discovered the gut brain, as it’s been referred to, there’s, there’s also understood that accessing the gut brain and that information that you get that gut feeling, and that, you know, the knots in the stomach and all that type of responses actually, that information and not to be ignored.
And the conversation in the book mBraining leads to a discussion about also the intelligence of the heart, and the fact that the heart also has neurons, and then there’s other books called the little brain in the heart, where if we pay attention to, you know, I followed my heart or, you know, I wear my heart on my sleeve, or, you know, I have a broken heart, because of a relationship that didn’t work out, we pay attention to the words that we use, well, often referring to those intelligences, that part of the body that you’re talking about, and we’re just not aware that we are actually accessing those intelligences. When we use those words to actually represent what we’re feeling internally. We’re actually representing it externally by saying words like my heart, or my gut felt tight, or I had I had butterflies in my stomach. So it’s what you’re saying is beautiful. And for people who aren’t unware of potentially what the unconscious mind is, perhaps it’s though those intelligences is giving us feedback and telling us things that we want to know. And then, and then we talk about, you know, the body responding and giving us
feedback, if we know how to listen, and we know how to pay attention, we get a lot of wisdom from the body, we without the brain of having been involved. I’m sorry, I cut you off a little bit earlier.
Yeah, sorry. So I just want to add that, you know, it may seem and sound like something that’s difficult to learn. But actually, us as babies do this already, to try and feed a child or a newborn, something that that the body does not want the child with, the infant will refuse to swallow it. And it only comes later when we are more aware of our surroundings and then of social conditioning and oh, should I do this to please someone?
it only comes up to later stage for them beforehand, all have this, within that this natural instinct, I don’t want this, or you’re trying to make a baby go somewhere or do something and it does not want it will throw a tantrum. But we’ve forgotten that. And I’m not saying we should throw tantrums again, but there’s a way to feel because the body will give us feedback of that tantrum. And it can, it is actually subtle. But the more we fine tune our mind to focus and to be receptive to those messages, the louder they become actually, and it doesn’t take that long to learn. That’s the beautiful thing is, is so natural.
Bill Gasiamis 25:24
Yeah, and for people who are skeptical or they need to do is just close their eyes for a moment. And just go in and just connect with somebody they love and see where they feel that so just going to think about somebody they love and see where they noticed in the body, and then just connect to something that’s a little bit scary, like, you know, public speaking for some people, and just see where they noticed that in the body, if there were asked enough and be a public speaker, just see what they notice it and then they’ve already connected with those different parts of the body. And there goes, now you can start expanding that lesson that I’ve just, you know, shed and you can take it to the next level with some amazing stuff that you know, that you’re doing. What what’s it like to go to the legal community and talk about these types of things. That seems like a really interesting conversation.
So it’s interesting because especially the legal community has been investing more and more money and doing death prevention at work or what I call that prevention because the suicide rate, the stroke rate, and heart attack rate for people who are lawyers in their 50’s, it’s just rising every year. And so it’s really something that, that is not being talked about opening yet but as in between ourselves and amongst ourselves quite a lot. And, and so it’s really interesting to have this conversation because I was there not like, three years ago, was still there.
So in April, it will be three years, so less than three years ago i was still there, so it’s like, oh yeah, well, I see you one of us, you know, and, and you still here and, and you’ve made it. I changed my life, a lot of other lawyers have completely changed our lives. But I actually believe that you don’t need to leave the work environment if the work environment changes. And so the efforts that we’re working with now with the legal society in Singapore, ah the law society sorry in Singapore and, and other startups that are creating innovative solutions for law firms, and now, including emotional health and mental health, and, and is really, really important. And so if you open the conversation and saying, what are your at the wrong place, and you should quit no one, people just stop listening. Because, you know, we have mortgages with families, we have a, we have ambitions, and, you know, we want to achieve
Bill Gasiamis 27:54
Want to be the best lawyer ever.
Yes, exactly. And so, and there’s a lot of things and we want to reach whether they’re justified or not condition or not, it doesn’t matter, we want that so. So now I’m, because I’m going in and saying, Well, listen, these are small things that you can do. And add to the daily life of a lawyer, knowing exactly what it entails, haven’t been there for years ago, you know, to change the culture to create more awareness to create more movement and less stagnation, really, because if you think about it, a heart pumps blood throughout our system the whole day. So it distributes energy. However, if we’re sitting all day, the neurological messages that go to certain parts of the body get interrupted or suspended, because all of the energy is needed here, and not to move our bodies.
So that creates and balances. And actually it stops the flow of this, of this beautiful circuit. And so they’re always they are very easy they take less than five minutes that people can use at their desks without really, you know, changing very much. And that changes the brain chemistry re-balances left and right brain and re-engage this flow. So slowly, slowly we’re reintroducing this, and we’re seeing that after three weeks, everybody feels different. After six months, the whole place, everybody is different, because also every 36 weeks, all of ourselves, are completely different from 36 weeks ago. So this new information, we’re like this new human, it’s just that the mind thinks that things cant change, but actually, that’s not true. Because we are constantly ever changing organism.
And so it’s about reconnecting the people with that. And when you approach it in this way, people are actually very open and receptive to listening. And as it’s experienced based, the mind seems to accept hormone changes, mood changes, things that can feel or experience without needing too much explanation, some personalities need science backup, and all and we provide that exist, it’s all out there. So we provided on a separate portal, and we don’t really talk about it, then because that will be feeding the mind again, where we trying to, what we’re wanting to achieve is to reconnect mind, body and soul come at them. But there’s no need to change your life anymore. And that’s really the I’m striving to, to offer to the world is like, Hey, you can rebalance in the current conditions. And then if those current condition that we find balancing and and you still don’t want to be that, then Okay, then make a choice. But there’s no need to quit to find some solutions, or to quit and dabble and look, because, because that’s very stressful.
Bill Gasiamis 30:52
Yeah, you don’t need to change your identity. And then I need to stop paying bills they don’t need to stop meeting your obligations, you just need to give yourself some time. And there’s some work done by a group in America called heart math, and they talk about how meditation, you know, can, you know, 10 minutes or five minutes of meditation can have long lasting, long lasting effects throughout the day, and doing multiple breathing exercises and what they call coherence exercises, you can actually have a long lasting effect for the entire day. And then that helps you sleep better. And then that helps you wake up better. And it helps you go to work without screaming and so many drivers, and helps you get to work a little bit calmer. And then, you know, when the first phone call comes in, that’s a little bit crazy. And you don’t want to answer it, you deal with it a little better. And everything helps to just take the edge off. Rather than turn up all of the stresses and all of the aggravation. It just helps to take the edge off. So what you’re doing is really amazing and lawyers can do it anyone can do it!
Oh, yes. Yes. And then also, it’s so easy. Because then you, you get to understand that you have the power to balance your moon on your own. And it’s really like a radio button that you turn and you just shift. And yes, yes, we get stressed this human and we experience all ranges of emotions during the day. So it’s about under, becoming aware of it and then having the tools to just go to wherever you are most comfortable. And it’s different every single day. And that’s really important as well as every single day we’re different so every single day we will feel different. And then that sense, I’m finding that using the same meditation technique everyday may not be the most useful. So it’s about providing a toolbox toolbox is a huge sometimes they have different levels and, and intuitive tool boxes that are very natural to apply. And, and again, lot of the things that I share now i i was doing and then I got confirmation when I was observing newborns and what they were doing to self regulate themselves. Because they, they still very connected to their natural intelligence. And so it’s really a journey of remembering more than anything else, and then becomes natural and life changing.
Bill Gasiamis 33:23
I love that you said you’re working in the cities, there’s probably people in the country than need this type of work or in the rural communities as well. But I love that you say working in the cities, because the people in the cities are, I would say, the most removed from the natural way and the natural cycles of life. And we are removed from that simply because we are living in, you know, concrete towers, with not alot of trees around us constant noise, noise I have in the background at my house where I’m currently living. And that’s something I’m going to remedy because it’s on a main road, you know, it’s constant noise, you can’t escape, we have air that’s not the best and we don’t, we have so much commuting time between home getting to work and, then coming home, we don’t have enough time to grow our own food and sustain ourselves in a more natural way. So we buy food from convenience locations, convenient locations and packaged in convenient ways. And not necessarily grown with the most amazing you know soil or anything like that.
So the city folk are living in in the city, at least for me, like I talk about that as if I was living in the city. Because that’s where the work is. That’s where more money is all that type of thing. But it’s also where more illnesses and more diseases and less you know, wellness overall. And if we can find a way to help people in that space, it’s great because I needed that. But I didn’t know that I need that until it was too late. And I’m lucky I got away with it. And you and I were both lucky because we’re still talking. Some people only have one shot at it, and they don’t get away with it.
So this can be applied. what’s beautiful about what you’re saying is that it doesn’t matter who’s listening with a lawyer or an accountant or painter or whatever they are. This can be applied in any field and in any industry and don’t think it takes a lot to start to impact people in a positive way. But how did you find that it was received when you went with this idea to your legal colleagues, because some people are going to be going, are going to be thinking, I can’t do this. I can’t go to the accountant, you know, fraternity and tell them about this and try to implement this in their world. How did you go about it? What was,
For me, I’m someone was very direct and blunt. Maybe my French, French in me or so I went and I said, Well, you know, I disappeared. I didn’t say at the time is I had strokes. I completely changed my life. Look at me now. And because they’ve seen me they’re seeing the difference. And then I don’t milk it. I’m like, Well, you know what people are dying. And, you know, I spend the last almost three years developing solutions to the problem. And, and because I just hit the button, and I just hit that I address the problem exactly how it is. And I say exactly how it is.
Nothing else is out there at the moment. So people are listening, because there is a real need. And so I don’t know if it’s a strategy that is the one that works for me. I go in, I tell what happened to me. And then I might Well, look, I’ve got the solution like, Are you willing to try? And most of them said, Yes. However, I find that I am exposed to people who are already open to it, because otherwise they wouldn’t meet me, right? So I haven’t gone to anybody who are skeptical or things that this is all not possible or can’t work. However, I’m finding that people are, especially in the big cities and finance sector, people are very aware of emotional health and being something that needs to be addressed. People have anxiety, there’s a lot more absenteeism, more burnouts. And those are bad for business really bad for business.
Bill Gasiamis 37:55
Yeah, your assets, your assets, which are your employees, that he’s put so much time training and that so much knowledge offline, or they die, they never come back.
Yes. And so so. So there’s a real need actually for retention. And there are a lot of leadership trainings and already a la carte yoga and meditation that are included in in companies like Google has been, has its own complete program, where they’re trained people in a in a more holistic way. What I’ve been saying is, I don’t offer a la carte I offer comprehensive, holistic programs, because to tackle an issue that is as important and as big as emotional health, because unhealthy emotional self, make some unhealthy body, right? And so, and the body reflects the emotional state. And in that sense, there is a real urgency. And for people who have budgets, they’re very open to the programs as this has never been done before. And for people who have less budgets, then I happily refer them to a la carte things, that they have a budget for it.
But the more we create awareness about what exists, the more inside the organizations, they seem to be preparing as well. So wellness budgets, in fortune 500 companies have doubled from last year to this year, for instance, or this is what I have seen anyway, and so so. So there is scope for it, it’s just I guess, you’ll find the company that is there will be listening to what you have to offer, and other people out there like us offering these solutions, and they will target the companies that they’re supposed to target. And then that sense, like that there is a lot of scope.
Bill Gasiamis 39:53
Yeah, I think it’s I’m not sure about how big it is in Singapore, and in the UK I imagine, it’s a serious issue for Occupational Health and Safety is very big in Australia. And what I find really interesting is that if my employer was to give me a ladder that had a broken leg and that ladder broke, and I felt like to let it myself that they would be able to be sued they would be able to be held responsible for my injury and my loss of income, etc.
But employers are also directly responsible for having people at work for 15, 12, 16 hours a day and working with them right through until they follow the die. Have you heard of, especially in the legal field? Have you heard of any actions that have been taken against employers that have done this to their employees where they’ve over worked them?
So it’s really interesting because you’re asking this question to a lawyer. And we’re the least letigeous people all though we are lawyers, when it comes to our personal well being, actually because it’s all about proving damage and causation between, you know, like a happen and b happened, and so c happen, and I’m directly affected, because he this all concerns me. And actually, Singapore does not have a very protective employee laws.
So there’s actually nothing you if, as far as I’m aware, I have to check again. But if you get a medical certificate from a doctor, then yeah, you cannot come to work. But if you have too many, where you come back, and there’s no medical certificate, you can be let go because you havent been to work a lot. And not even if you work for companies that come from countries with very, very strong employee protection laws, like Australia, or France, or the EU usually not the UK less, but Singapore doesn’t really have that. And now no one is doing because it’s very difficult to prove that employer is the sole cause responsible for your stroke it’s even in my case, I havent thought about it actually, now that you’re asking if I do the rationale, you know, I had an autoimmune condition. I had difficult family life,
You know, there was so many other things that came in and you can’t just would, okay, well, my my my employer caused this. But then also if you are wanting alimony or damages or money well, you need to quantify you know how much is lost. And to prove it. And so it’s um, it’s very long, I wouldn’t go into it because it would cost me money to buy to pay lawyers to pay for court fees. And it will take a lot of time. And it’s a lot of effort and energy to to try and make something right, while you actually coming at it from a place of pain and hurt. And so, which is why I’m offering solutions. And okay, well, let’s let’s go at it from a place of, well, there is a solution I can get better like, you and I have had strokes and we’re not paralyzed anymore. No. And yes, there are some other things that I haven’t still worked on, like my top and bottom coordination is still a challenge. But it’s mainly because I haven’t focused on it. If I do it, look back, like everything is nothing is permanent.
Bill Gasiamis 43:38
Yeah, for us it’s not I know, for a lot of other people, you know, paralyzed on the left side, it’s permanent, because of the amount of damage that they’ve experienced, for some people you know to their speech, you know, not permanently, but for very long time affected. But I have had people that I’ve interviewed that told me that they regained the use of their arm 20 years after their stroke when they were child so that offers hope, and one of the people that I interviewed a little earlier in the podcast series, Dr. Michael Merzenich says that if you can regain everything back, it just depends on how much time you’ve got. So you know, if you have a stroke, when you’re very young, you’ve got a lot more time ahead of you to recover deficits that may have been created. And then unfortunately, for people who are no longer older in age 60’s 70s or 80s unfortunately that timeframe decreases ability for the body to heal quicker, decreases.
So we have this challenge that, it’s kind of really sad, but the earlier you have a stroke the better. I know that sounds weird. You know saying that like sounds so weird, but it’s kind of true. Tell me about some of the other things that you can assist people with to help them potentially divert from a stroke or avoid the stroke. Now we’re talking about going in and you’re talking about meditation and making them feel better in their body? What are some of the other tools that we can give people that we can teach them about, you know, how to support the body holistically.
So yeah, holistic means holistic, so it’s a full 360 approach, not just one angle so for a healthy body you actually need a healthy body so movements movements really key. More and more there are studies that are coming out confirming that the human body is not designed to fit all day and be on a computer and on phones and and and you know, people hunched we are not designed to be hunched physically. And so to go out to go for wants to move. And it’s really about moving the energy within the body, letting the blood circulate everywhere. So that actually, the more you practice this and in martial arts, or Chi Gong or Tai Chi we call it cultivating Chi, what does that mean? It just really means so having all the energy circulate so that if your circulatory system is a river, there are no dams that are created by, you know, I don’t know, emotions, or even foods that you eat, and then it comes, comes with pushing through and flowing, and in that sense all your are organs oxygenated, and you’re working at optimum energy level.
The other way to optimize energy level and flow is diet. Can’t talk about this enough, actually, food is medicine. But because food can be medicine, food can also be what kills you. And a lot of us are eating our deaths and our plates. Because, Yes, so think about what you’re eating, where it comes from what it has been through and and because of what it has been through if you’re eating it, it becomes you for 36 weeks because it gives you energy and it becomes your system even if it only takes so long to digest.
Actually all the enzymes of proteins of vitamins, the minerals that it takes from that you’re taking from it stays with you. So think about, you know, the origin of the food and what it has been through and, and if it’s an animal, you know, has it been through, look at this life and see if you want that sort of thing within you. And especially a balanced diet is really key to balance out all of the elements. And nature is beautiful, because it’s providing all of this beautiful, beautiful, colorful things to us to feed us and to give us their energy.
I’m finding also intermittent fasting, fasting and detoxes to be very, very, very efficient to kick start the body’s natural cycles that we’ve forgotten, or we haven’t used in a while to really optimize nutrient intake and energy intake from from food. Because most of us eat, and I actually feel tired after eating and need coffee. It’s actually not how it’s supposed to work your supposed to eat to feel great. So look into food. There are amazing, amazing, amazing people out there that are doing such amazing jobs and creating awareness. Like, I particularly enjoy Dr. Morse, and he’s all about irridiology and plant based diets to heal and cure anything really.
And it’s been a really big part of my journey. Because I’ve been a vegan for most of my life. And, and I don’t say that it works for everybody. But for me, it works specifically well and we’re seeing more and more that in order to cure and detox the body is actually the fastest way. And then yes, meditation would be the third one. And also have fun know, like, it’s so important to laugh and have fun. I’m a big advocate of smiling meditation. So I hold smile, like really big smiles with where am I the corners of my mouth, try and touch my my ears and my eyes, try and touch your crown of my head. I hold it everything through my mouth, and also the back of my throat. And I have do this every day for three to four minutes. Just hold it. and just doing that we have tiny receptors in our cheeks that are actually connected to the brain. the gut and the heart and sends dopamine, serotonin and create all of these chemical reactions for happiness. And it’s the physical reinforce, positive reinforcement system. You know, how we trying and train dogs and give them treats to behave certain ways. Actually, this is our way to train ourselves is by smiling. So do something, think about something positive and a hold that smile for a while. And you’ll see the more you smile the more your face will start to look like a constant smiley face
Bill Gasiamis 50:19
In coaching sessions. When we get through something serious. Now we have a smile on crack a smile on our clients. What what what you notice is you notice the wrinkles go away, you notice the tension go away, you notice everything changed, you know, the shoulders change, you know, the way they holding the body, the way the breathing changes. And often it starts from going in and exploring something and then getting to the other side of it. And then allowing themselves to smile again. And I often say to people who are depressed or say or depressed because they are doing depressing things. They are doing depressing, and having depressing experiences, I often say to them smile, and see if you can make depressed when you smile. And it’s impossible to feel depressed when you’re smiling. Even if it’s a fake smile.
Yes, because your body will produce the chemicals that go with a smile, which is great.
Bill Gasiamis 51:18
Yeah, and it changes the whole chemical balance of the body. And it changes every muscle fiber and changes all the cells. It does amazing differences to the body. And this is such a simple tool, you know, and if you’re sitting at your desk, and you can hide the computer from somebody, your employer, and you can put on a youtube comedy sketch or something, jump on to YouTube and listen to something put your headphones on so nobody else could hear it you and do yourself five minutes opportunity to smile It costs nobody anything and it makes you feel better and it has long lasting effects.
Yeah, so there’s so many ways the most amazing breathing technique as well. There’s so many now, but is the alternative nostril breathing. So it’s closing one nostril, particular finger here inhaling through this left nostril. exhaling through the right. Inhaling through the right closing it and then exhaling through the left and just keep going with this. And it is for three minutes and they actually re balances oxygenation within your body. And and it’s just so simple.
Bill Gasiamis 52:31
And then if somebody see’s, you do that you look so funny, they’ll start laughing and you’ll start laughing
Yes. And then and then it creates a smile. But what I’m seeing in offices now is we’re introducing these little techniques. And then actually when when, when one person that does does it, it prompts the other one to do with to so they’re doing at a break that takes less than five minutes. And then we’ll then increase productivity, creativity, and aliveness really.. And wanting to be there and, and so as so it’s like lots of small things. And yes, do things that make you happy, you know, because there’s one thing really that I realized is if I don’t take care of myself, no one else will.
And we’re constantly looking for solutions outside. And when everything is within us. And these practices, they’re also natural, and they come naturally to us. And then and then they wont require any effort when I must say also is and I’ve observed is when people go to allopathic doctors, we get chemicals, those chemicals, main attribute is to cut the messaging between your brain and the rest of your body of what is actually going on. So yes, you will feel numb, not better numbed. So the message to alert message that your body is sending like a red bulb blinking, the bulb will still be blinking but you won’t be aware of the fact that they will be blinking. So actually, it is a band aid solution that treats something very instantly, but it’s not treating the root cause. And I’m finding the root causes are emotional health. So take care of your emotional being and and everything else from then transpires into the body. Even if it takes a while for the body to come up. It’s the last thing to catch up with the new information. But it’s quick, it takes six months, but even less because emotionally and chemically. You start feeling so differently.
Bill Gasiamis 54:37
Yeah. And what you’re saying is, and by not dealing with the root cause what we’re doing is we’re compounding the problem and making it worse and worse. So when it actually eventually catches up with us, it’s usually a very dramatic response occurs. And for you and me, the traumatic response was for me, it was a blade in the brain. What type of stroke did you experience?
Bill Gasiamis 55:04
Yeah, so due to just blockages or due to something not working correctly, or the blood not flowing correctly do they,
they couldn’t really determine because of all of the other issues that I was having prior, like the muscle tears, the fibromyalgia, the medication I was on at the time undetermined for me.
Bill Gasiamis 55:26
Yeah, so your mindset was very different before. And it’s very different now. We see this almost polar opposite mindset. And it’s amazing how the shift has occurred in such a small amount of time, what was it like for you during rehab? When I was in rehab, I had three years before I ended up in, we have to do the work that you’re saying. So I was preparing myself for potentially a bigger stroke to come, or I was preparing myself for surgery. So I had my body in a very good state. And I had my mind in a very good space. And I had a lot of emotional work that I’ve done through being coached myself, and through, you know, telling people that I love them hugging, my kids more and apologizing more, and doing all that type of stuff. So I was very focused already, when I got to rehab about how to impact my body in a positive way, how to be the main person who’s responsible for my recovery, as well as the amazing doctors, but how I took responsibility off when I go home doctors can’t be there with I’m going to do the stuff that I do to get better.
What was your mindset, like when you wake up, and you discovered that you’re paralyzed on the right side and you cant walk or move your arm or your leg?
Well, for me, it was I was expecting it because it wasn’t my hallucination. So because of the autoimmune condition I had, I had spent a lot of time in the medical care system and I’m was done. I was actually really done. I was taking over 20 to 40 pills, weekly, different types of medication before the stroke as well. And as having all these allergic reactions. So for me, I was really, although I’m very grateful for the love and care that the whole medical system has given me over the years, and in a way that a second family and it’s always been a second family, they did their best, and the limitations that they were given of their own education and knowledge and, and the limits of that as well, like, and then the same way I have limitations to what I share, we all do.
And so for me, it was really, I’m done. And I’m going to apply what I received in the vision. And so I did a 360 change. And something that was very clear to me at the time was, I could not have anybody else have an opinion, or effects the implementation of that plan. So isolated myself, I told my parents, so there wasn’t that bad. I told my partner in crime, that it wasn’t that bad. And I didn’t meet anyone. So So I did the breathing exercises, the visualizations and for me was really imagining, I could feel my left side a lot and not my right. So I was imagining everything I felt on the left side happening on right.
And reestablishing brain connections from from the day I went out. And my ex and I had a video business and one of the videos with it was for a startup called mind maze that is developing technology with VR, like a virtual reality mass for stroke patients after strokes to to basically have them move the functioning arm but seeing the other arm move so that actually the brain re established the connections through the imagination but that’s exactly what I did for meeting the startup, which isn’t who the start up is not a startup anymore. This is huge now. And so, so so I use that and very, very quickly, at two weeks, I could feel my body again, because I had no nerve damage I and then I started to be able to feel and I was like, Okay, okay, I just keep going. Just keep going. Just keep going for me was really important that I didn’t have anyone outside, which is caring family members, friends and hospital care systems that were doubting what I was doing. And because of love and care for me, would suggest things that they thought would work for me when I knew exactly what I needed to do.
So my way was bit unconventional, because I isolated myself and then three months later, I was doing yoga. I’d never done yoga in my life, you know, and then I started surfing, I had never done any of these things because of the fibromyalgia. So, yes, for me, it was I am very strong minded. I’ve always been perhaps my life living with an autoimmune condition that was limiting me physically taught me that and in a very big sense of pride that I didn’t loose also helped.
I wasn’t afraid to tap into that. And I guess the division really helped because I was like, well, I’m alive now. So I’m going to live and that’s really something when I’ve been working one on one in the past two years with people who have suffered a similar things or have had autoimmune conditions or, or any other even genetic conditions is the question I asked is, how much do you want to live? And if you want to live, what kind of life do you want to live. If you want to settle with what you have right now I can only respect it. But hey, you know, I didn’t and a lot of other people didn’t. And look what happens.
And so it’s really about finding that strengthen that hunger because everything really as possible. We’re not the only people who recovered so well. There’s people around the world now, writing books, sharing their gifts, showing that actually, hey, it’s not the end of the world, everything is possible. And you can really jump back from absolutely anything even I will even say, even if you’re older, if you want to live if you want to heal you will, because that’s the first step.
Bill Gasiamis 1:01:27
Yeah, so true. As a beautiful way to get to the end of this podcast. Really, I was really amazed by such wisdom in such a young person. I think we’re all wise and we’re just afraid to tap into our own unique wisdom.
I was pretty dumb 28 and then even a 31 or 35 I was pretty dumb. The Wisdom started to ooze out of me at 37 after the first bleed. And then at 40 after surgery and and by wisdom that can be around people listening and people watching. I’m not a philosopher or anyone like that. I’m just somebody who knows to tap into the places where were feedback is really guiding me to live the best version of my life. And I’m listening to that feedback from the parts of me that I was ignoring before that sounds like you’re doing the same thing. And I’m so glad that you get to share it in this space that you’re, A came on my podcast and B that you are working in the legal field. Because if there’s any industry that needs it, it is definitely the legal space. I’ve never met a lawyer who’s chilled out and calm and relaxed and not argumentative and all those types of things, i just love the work that you’re doing. And I’m wondering where can people find out a little bit more about if they wanted to look you up?
Yes, so at the moment I’m working with an organization and Singapore called Sage house so the website is sagehouse.sg and have a profile page on that and very soon our wellness programs are called well to work and we’re still building that so the website for that as www.welltowork.org so stay tuned. It will be released in the next few weeks. Otherwise social media I’m on Facebook and Instagram so there and and I’m really happy to meet new people and share so um,
Bill Gasiamis 1:03:44
yeah, congratulations Delphine because before we spoke I knew your little bit apprehensive, you hadn’t yet told too many people about the things that you’re doing. And I feel very blessed and privileged that you know, you came to my podcast one of the first places that you’re starting to open up and share you know, your beautiful gift of making making it a better for people on the planet and making people feel better and want to be better experience a better version of life. We’ve only got one so I wish you all the best and I’ll follow your work with great curiosity.
Thank you so much for having me and for having this this podcast and website and for sharing and spreading the message as well. This is great.
Discover how to support your recovery after stroke. Go to www.recoveryafterstroke.com.