The Hidden Dangers of Anabolic Steroid Abuse and Stroke
Introduction
The pursuit of peak physical fitness can sometimes lead individuals down a dangerous path. While anabolic steroids are often marketed as a shortcut to strength and muscle gain, their misuse can have catastrophic consequences. One of the most serious risks associated with anabolic steroid abuse is stroke—a life-threatening condition that can result in lasting disabilities or even death. This article explores the connection between anabolic steroids and stroke, weaving in Jonathan’s story as a cautionary tale to highlight the severe health risks involved.
Understanding Anabolic Steroids and Their Effects
Anabolic steroids, also known as anabolic-androgenic steroids (AAS), are synthetic substances designed to mimic the effects of testosterone. They are used medically to treat conditions such as delayed puberty or muscle loss caused by diseases. However, when abused for athletic or cosmetic purposes, these substances can lead to a range of harmful effects, including increased blood pressure, cholesterol imbalances, and heart problems—all of which elevate the risk of stroke.
Jonathan’s Story: A Sobering Reality
Jonathan, a fitness enthusiast and family man, began using anabolic steroids in his 40s to achieve his ideal physique. Like many others, he was drawn to the promise of quick muscle gains and a chiseled appearance. However, the allure of anabolic steroids masked the silent damage being done to his body. Jonathan’s choice to stay on extended cycles—ignoring the recommended break periods—led to dangerously high blood pressure.
Despite experiencing warning signs, Jonathan continued using steroids. Eventually, this led to a hemorrhagic stroke caused by a ruptured blood vessel in his brain. Doctors gave him a grim prognosis: 77% of people with similar strokes do not survive, and the majority of survivors face severe disabilities. Against the odds, Jonathan survived, but the stroke left him with mobility challenges, slurred speech, and a new understanding of the risks he had taken.
The Connection Between Steroid Abuse and Stroke
Steroid abuse can increase the likelihood of stroke through several mechanisms:
- Elevated Blood Pressure: Steroids can cause hypertension, which puts excessive strain on blood vessels, increasing the risk of rupture or blockage.
- Thickened Blood: Steroids can promote the production of red blood cells, leading to thicker blood that is more prone to clotting—a primary cause of ischemic strokes.
- Cholesterol Imbalances: Steroids often lower HDL (“good” cholesterol) and increase LDL (“bad” cholesterol), contributing to atherosclerosis and narrowing of the arteries.
- Heart Enlargement: Prolonged steroid use can lead to left ventricular hypertrophy (heart muscle thickening), which disrupts normal blood flow and increases the risk of cardiovascular events.
Jonathan’s experience highlights how steroid abuse can turn a seemingly healthy individual into someone grappling with life-threatening conditions.
Steroid Abuse Risk Factors
Certain behaviors and conditions can exacerbate the risks associated with steroid abuse:
- Extended Use Without Breaks: Continuous cycles of steroids, as in Jonathan’s case, leave little time for the body to recover.
- Stacking Substances: Combining multiple types of steroids amplifies their negative effects.
- Ignoring Warning Signs: Symptoms such as high blood pressure, severe headaches, or vision changes should never be ignored.
- Pre-Existing Conditions: Those with a history of cardiovascular or neurological issues are at even greater risk when abusing steroids.
Lessons from Jonathan’s Recovery
Jonathan’s journey post-stroke has been one of resilience, learning, and transformation. With the support of his wife and family, he has embraced a healthier, drug-free lifestyle and has become an advocate for raising awareness about the dangers of steroid abuse. His story serves as a powerful reminder that while fitness goals are important, they should never come at the cost of your health or future.
A Final Thought
The risks of anabolic steroid abuse extend far beyond the gym. The pressure to achieve a certain physical ideal can lead to decisions with irreversible consequences. Stroke is a devastating outcome that no amount of muscle gain can justify. For those considering steroids, Jonathan’s story is a sobering example of the potential dangers. Always prioritize long-term health over short-term results.
Cited Resources
- American Stroke Association: stroke.org
- National Institute on Drug Abuse: drugabuse.gov
Stroke Foundation (Australia): strokefoundation.org.au
Steroid Abuse and Stroke: Jonathan’s Inspiring Road to Recovery
Jonathan’s story of overcoming a stroke caused by steroid abuse inspires hope, resilience, and recovery insights for stroke survivors everywhere.
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Highlights:
00:00 Jonathan and Brittany’s Introduction and Initial Situation
04:10 Hospital Experience and Initial Diagnosis
18:46 Family Strength: Brittany’s Support and Jonathan’s Journey
20:40 The Cause of the Stroke: Anabolic Steroids
31:08 Fluffy but Loved: A 16-Year Journey of Humor and Affection
40:25 Healing, Hope, and Progress: A Journey After Stroke
49:24 Shifting Focus: From Gym Junkie to Mentor and Role Model
1:00:39 The Stroke’s Impact: Jonathan’s Transformation and Future Vision
1:02:39 Advice and Insights for Stroke Survivors and Caregivers
1:08:41 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
Transcript:
Introduction – Steroid Abuse and Stroke
Bill Gasiamis 0:00
Welcome everyone. I’m so glad you’re here, whether this is your first time tuning in, or you’ve been with me for a while, your support means the world. By sharing the podcast, leaving reviews or just listening week after week, you’re helping to create a thriving community for stroke survivors and caregivers, a space where we can all feel seen, heard and supported. Since 2015 I’ve been dedicated to bringing you free, valuable resources through this podcast, and your support makes it possible.
Bill Gasiamis 0:33
If you found value in these episodes, I’d love for you to consider supporting the show on Patreon, at patreon.com/recoveryafterstroke. Your contribution helps keep this podcast alive and accessible for stroke survivors around the world. I’d also like to take a moment to remind you about my book ‘The unexpected way that a stroke became the best thing that happened’. It has been a guide and a source of hope for many stroke survivors and their loved ones, offering practical insights and inspiration for navigating recovery.
Bill Gasiamis 1:08
If you haven’t checked it out yet, you can find it on Amazon or at recoveryafterstroke.com/book. So what did we speak about in today’s episode? Well, Jonathan and Brittany joined me to share their extraordinary journey of resilience, recovery and transformation after Jonathan survived a hemorrhagic stroke caused by anabolic steroid overuse. Jonathan opens up about the day his life changed forever, from the subtle signs Brittany noticed to his grim diagnosis at the hospital.
Bill Gasiamis 1:45
We explore the impact of anabolic steroids on his health and how they led to dangerously high blood pressure and the devastating brain bleed that followed. Jonathan also reflects on his emotional recovery battling anxiety and depression and the lessons he learned about prioritizing health over esthetics. Brittany offers powerful insights into her role as caregiver, from navigating the challenges of supporting Jonathan through recovery to balancing the needs of their six children.
Bill Gasiamis 2:20
Together, they share how humor, family, support and resilience help them find light in the darkest moments. This conversation also dives into Jonathan’s mission to raise awareness about the dangers of steroid overuse and inspire others to make healthier choices if you’re a stroke survivor, caregiver or someone interested in the intersection of fitness and health, this episode will leave you inspired and motivated. Let’s dive in.
Bill Gasiamis 2:51
Jonathan and Brittany, welcome to the podcast.
Jonathan 2:55
Thank you. Glad to be here.
Bill Gasiamis 2:58
Take two guys, we tried this last week, didn’t work. I’m glad to have you back here today. Jonathan, let’s start with you. Tell me a little bit about what happened to you.
Jonathan 3:09
Yeah, man, so what happened to me? It was August, 20, 2024 about roughly 15, almost 16 weeks ago, I got up about 4am like I normally do. I normally get up, have some coffee, scroll through my phone, then I crawl back into bed with my wife, Brittany. We snuggle until about 5am and then she gets up and normally gets in the shower. I typically head to the gym. That’s our morning routine every day of the week.
Jonathan 3:41
This particular morning, she went to the bathroom before she got in the shower, she looked in the bedroom and saw that I had not gotten up yet. So she kind of come over to me and said, “Hey, you’re not going to the gym? Hey.” And I started mumbling, really funny, really weird. And I tried to get up, but I couldn’t quite get up, so she helped me up, but I was stumbling. Really couldn’t walk, didn’t have any balance. She knew something was wrong.
Hospital Experience and Initial Diagnosis
Jonathan 4:10
Right then she took me in the living room, sat me down, she got the kids ready, got them off to school, and I still was acting funny, still couldn’t walk, so she rushed me to the ER. After getting to the ER, the doctor there immediately said, I think he’s having a stroke. I need to do a CAT scan. So they scan my brain. He immediately came out and told Brittany, it’s not looking good. He looks like his brain is bleeding pretty bad. We’re going to have to transport him up an hour north to this Chattanooga CHI Memorial Hospital.
Jonathan 4:47
That’s where they have a good neurological team, and they can try to save his life. So they transported me up there. From there, I don’t remember anything. I really don’t remember anything of that morning. They transported me up to CHI Hospital in Chattanooga. For three full days I was unconscious. On the fourth day, I regained consciousness, but barely. But the doctor was in the hospital room, and he told me that I was a miracle. 77% of people with the left thalamus brain bleed like I had -I’d lost so much blood- die, they basically pass away.
Jonathan 5:33
The other 23% are severely disabled. I’m lucky that I’m alive, and I’m going to have a tough road to recovery. At that time, he was telling me that I could not walk. I had no movement or function out of my right arm. My face was fine. I looked normal in my face. I just was very tired, unconscious. My speech was slurring still, and I could not walk, and I could not really use my right arm. And that’s when my wife came up to get me now, and we went home.
Jonathan 6:07
They tried to get me to stay at the hospital for recovery, but the hospital being an hour away and us having six children in school, I couldn’t stay up there, and she wouldn’t be able to stay with me. So we decided. I have a gym here at home, and I decided to do recovery and therapy on my own here at home. So that’s kind of the story of the stroke happened and how we got here.
Bill Gasiamis 6:33
Brittany, in the morning at 5 o’clock. It’s pretty normal for somebody not to want to get out of bed. What was it for you that made you go back and check up on him and make sure he was okay? Because nobody I know wants to get out of bed at five in the morning.
Brittany 6:52
Well, he has, like, a military routine, so him not being at the gym is like, it don’t happen. Yeah, I just knew, like, was wrong, you know. And then he started mumbling. I’m like, you know, it was very weird, and you don’t think, ‘Oh, well, he’s having a stroke. It’s not like ‘Oh, bless.
Brittany 7:20
I mean, the right side of my face is paralyzed or anything like that, like you, you know, you kind of have a little knowledge on people who have strokes. And it wasn’t just like all one right side is like you couldn’t walk at all, and it’s just so I didn’t know what to think. To be honest with you.
Bill Gasiamis 7:39
Same reward seemed more dramatic than something that you could kind of let him take a rest about.
Brittany 7:47
Yeah, no, something’s definitely wrong. I mean, he rarely even get sick.
Jonathan 7:56
What was so devastating was when the doctor told her that she needs to get prepared for the worst, because most people don’t come out of this. That was the most devastating part, because upon getting to the ER, she just thought I was having an allergic reaction or something. She had no clue that it was a stroke, more or less a brain bleed so bad.
Bill Gasiamis 8:25
What’s it like, Brittany? Like you’ve never heard that before said about your husband, these doctors, are they being are they giving you any hope? Are they saying there’s a, like, a small chance anything? Or they’re just telling you worst case scenario?
Brittany 8:42
I guess it was more just like worst case scenario, the hot like I said, the hospital here is not equipped at all, so they’re just by telling you when things like ‘Oh well, we got to hurry and transport them as quickly as possible. Not getting to talk to the doctor right away in the Ted Nuza Hospital, and then finally, talking to him, he’s like ‘Well, there’s so much pressure on the brain. And you know, it’s one of those things where they can’t just say ‘Oh yeah, he’ll be fine, or anything like that. Because he’s so bad.
Bill Gasiamis 9:21
They really don’t know, time they’re hoping for the best.
Brittany 9:28
Yeah, they’re pretty much. You just have to monitor them and, you know, do another CT scan and then do an MRI and see if there’s, like if the bleeding has stopped. But we can’t do that for such and such amount of hours, and so it’s like, you just have to wait and live in fear and pray, and you know.
Bill Gasiamis 9:51
What about the children at that time? How do you tell them what’s happening? What did you go through there? Let’s take a quick pause. Here to reflect on Jonathan and Brittany’s remarkable story so far, their journey shows the resilience it takes to face life after a stroke, the power of family support and the courage to overcome immense challenges. If this podcast has brought value to your recovery or inspired you in any way, I’d love your support on Patreon, at patreon.com/recoveryafterstroke.
Bill Gasiamis 10:25
Becoming a Patreon not only helps sustain the podcast, but also allows you to be a part of a community dedicated to growth and healing. If you’re looking for additional resources, remember to check out my book The Unexpected Way That A Stroke Became The Best Thing That Happened. It has been described as super helpful, and one reader said bill comes off so positive, his book and podcast will leave you hooked, whether you’re just starting your recovery or further along.
Bill Gasiamis 10:55
The book is available on Amazon and at recoveryafterstroke.com/book. Now let’s get back to Jonathan and Brittany’s story and hear more about how they’re navigating recovery with strength and determination.
Brittany 11:11
Well, when they came home from school, I told my boys that I didn’t really explain to them the whole stroke thing, because I felt like they would not quite get it. I just had to, kind of like he’s in the hospital, you know, and just lightly say everything’s going to be okay. I can’t just go and tell them ‘Well, I don’t know what’s going to happen, you know.
Brittany 11:38
And then I told my girls, since they’re older, what had happened, and trying to explain to them to see if they were even knowledgeable at you know, to some circumstance they they’ve heard, you know what a stroke is, but not knowing the details of we don’t know what’s going to happen.
Jonathan 11:57
And again, we have six kids. We have our three girls are oldest, but one’s almost 15, one’s 13 and one’s 11. Our boys, we have twin boys, they’re 9 years old, and we have a little boy who’s six.
Bill Gasiamis 12:11
And the 15 year old’s very capable of, kind of taking over the family for a small amount of time getting the kids organized and getting it right. ‘Okay, that’s really good. So then you’re in hospital, and this is all surreal to me, because this short amount of time for you to be on the podcast since your injury, and you’re scared and all that kind of stuff is unheard of. And to be speaking to me the way that you’re speaking to me in the capacity that you have, is really fabulous.
Bill Gasiamis 12:51
Let me just make sure that what I’m trying to do is like, express how profoundly joyful it is to see somebody who’s been through what you’ve been through to be on my podcast already and in your condition. So tell me about first it’s we’re at that stage of so much pressure. We don’t know what it’s going to have, what’s going to happen. We don’t know if he’s going to get through it, and then how many days to get to the other side where. Actually, I think he’s going to be okay. How many days did it take to get to there?
Jonathan 13:26
It was, I think on day four, I just all of a sudden woke up. I hadn’t been conscious the whole time, but on day four I woke up. The doctor happened to be in my room. He was the only one there and a nurse, and he looked at me and said, ‘Welcome back, son. He’s the older gentleman, and he looked at me and said ‘You’re a miracle, because we weren’t sure if we were going to get you back. He and that’s when he told me the statistics, 77% of people pass away.
Jonathan 13:58
The other 23% normally either never walk again, or they’re severely disabled. And at the time, that scared me, but I was able to talk a little bit. I was able to understand, but still really fuzzy. But he told me, he said ‘The bleeding is stopped, the pressure is going down, we’re going to keep you here for a couple of weeks for rehab. And that’s when I called my wife. She came up there, and we basically told him ‘We can’t stay I’ll go home and do rehab. Just need the rest and and that’s when we went home, and being home the story is even more amazing.
Bill Gasiamis 14:41
We’ll talk about that in a minute. But what deficits were you left with? What did you have to deal with to recover from?
Jonathan 14:49
I couldn’t really walk, I had to use a wheelchair first. My legs just would not really move. Now I could stand up, but they were weak taking steps, really hard. My right arm really didn’t have any strength, I could move it, but it didn’t have any strength, any grip strength. My left arm seemed like nothing had happened, and then, of course, my eyesight was a little messed up. Things were blurry, I felt lightheaded, and my speech was really, really slurred.
Bill Gasiamis 15:20
Okay, and you discharged yourself from hospital because it was too far, and you came home with all of those conditions.
Jonathan 15:29
Yes, sir.
Bill Gasiamis 15:31
Brittany, what was it like having that guy, this version of your guy back home?
Brittany 15:39
It definitely was different. But, I mean, we made it through, you know, I told him, granted, I had to keep reminding him, like every five minutes, because he would forget stuff and I’d have to repeat it. That is going to be alright, I’m going to take care of you no matter what. I pushed him around the wheelchair until he moved to the walker, I helped him with everything.
Jonathan 16:02
Bill, I don’t want to make a joke of this, but this, we had some hilarious times too. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen that movie, 51st dates. It’s with Drew Barrymore. Well, in that movie, there’s a guy that had a traumatic brain injury, and every 10 seconds he would lose his memory and forget. And so I would walk around and say ‘Hi, I’m Tom, and then seconds later, I’d say ‘Hi, I’m Tom. So we had a little fun with it too.
Bill Gasiamis 16:34
Sounds like you had some fun with it. Brittany would have been thinking ‘Oh my gosh, has he actually forgotten who he is? Does he think is Tom, yeah, I know that movie. It’s good to observe and sort of to turn things into, to kind of create a little a little bit of light laughter about the situation, because it’s pretty serious. And if you’re going to be serious the whole time, I mean, it’s going to be really stressful. I know there’s some stroke survivors who don’t believe there’s anything funny about stroke, but man.
Bill Gasiamis 17:06
I reckon there’s tons of stuff funny about stroke. I had some moments where I was in the most sort of serious state before my surgery in 2014 and my I was in the hospital getting preparation, getting prepared for surgery, and they do all the pre tests and all that kind of stuff. And my blade had settled down just enough so that I could get to surgery. They checked us out, and then when we were doing that, when I was doing that final examination, and they sent me home.
Bill Gasiamis 17:41
It was probably about three hours worth of tests or different tests to know what they’re dealing with for surgery. When they sent me home, I started having a dizzy spell, and I started noticing all this weird stuff happening, like I was out of my out of my head, out of my brain. I don’t know what it was. It was like, really surreal kind of experience, and we go and admit, I go back from I leave the area where I was getting all the tests done, different part of the hospital, and I go to emergency.
Bill Gasiamis 18:12
And I say I was here for tests for surgery in a week, blah, blah, blah, and now I’m having an episode. I think this thing might be bleeding again, because it bled three times, and I’m not feeling well. And they initially said ‘Okay, well, you look all right, can you go and sit down on the chair, just in emergency with your wife, and then we’ll get somebody out to come and help you. I said ‘Fine. I went and sat down, and then there was this kid sitting next to me. He must have been on the autistic spectrum or something, right?
Family Strength: Brittany’s Support and Steroid Abuse and Stroke Journey
Bill Gasiamis 18:46
And he was sitting next to me, and I was holding onto the the armrests of the chair, and he was too. And every once in a while, he kind of rubbed his hand on my hand, not accidentally, kind of thing, you know, we just touched hands. And then a little while later, I heard his mom say something to the tune of ‘You were in the toilet, yeah. And he goes ‘Yes. And then she said to him ‘Did you wash your hands? And in that moment, all of my stroke symptoms went away, and the only thing I could think of was I have got to get up and go and wash my hands.
Bill Gasiamis 19:27
And I said to my wife ‘You need to sit here, wait for me. I’m going to go to the toilet and wash my hands. And all the drug symptoms, all the stuff that I was experiencing, all the blurriness just vanished, immediately vanished. I went to the toilet, I washed my hands, and I came and sat down, and then I just kept my hands on my lap, so we wouldn’t interact in that way with this young kid again. So I feel like, if you look for it, there are moments where you can make light of the situation.
Bill Gasiamis 20:01
Because I think it’s really helpful. So now the this stroke story is going to take a little bit of a turn, because we know what happened to you, we know how you got home, we know what you’re like now. But why did this happen? That’s the big question here, because it’s a very different why to why most other people have strokes. So you hear about strokes, that’s that about 80, depending on who you hear it from 80 to 90% of strokes are preventable, and that is a really staggering number.
Anabolic Steroid Abuse and Stroke
Bill Gasiamis 20:40
This means that of the millions of people who have strokes, most of the strokes are unnecessary. It’s lifestyle factors that causes it right? And you hear about the regular lifestyle factors, smoking, drinking excessively, being overweight, not checking blood pressure, diabetes, you name it. We’ve heard them all. We know the ones that they are, but your situation was different. So tell me about what caused your stroke.
Jonathan 21:10
Well, really quickly. I want to give it some context. It started when I was younger. I was with chubby, you know, little fat kid. I grew up with body dysmorphia if you know what that is. And so as I got older, right around 40 years old, I had a friend that lived in Arizona, and he turned me on to steroids. So I started doing steroids about six or seven years ago, I started off with mild steroids like testosterone and some SARM selective androgen receptor modules, very mild stuff and they did good building muscle.
Jonathan 21:55
But they didn’t give me that lean, cut up look that I wanted. I wanted to be super muscular, I wanted to look like Superman. So the past like three years, I started trying harder steroids than multiple stories and stacking stories. They call it stacking when you use multiple compounds. Testosterone has but I started using things like wind straw that helps dry you up, make you look dry and cut, I started using things like trend alone, which builds muscle, builds strength, but also makes you look extremely muscular.
Jonathan 22:28
Every piece of food you put in you, I don’t care if it’s a donut, it’s going to your muscle cells, it’s making you muscular. The thing about these steroids are you still gotta put in the work, you still gotta lift the weights, you just heal. And it happens a lot faster when you gotta you still gotta eat enough protein and work out. So what I had done is I made the big mistake of I did a cycle about a year ago, a little over a year ago, of trembolone and Anabar and wind straw with the testosterone, and I never came off.
Jonathan 23:03
You’re supposed to cycle it 12 weeks and then take 12 weeks off. If I would have done that, I probably would have been okay. But this time I cycled on and never came off. I started to look so good, so muscular, so cut up that I just couldn’t imagine coming off of it in my body. Because when you do come off, you do fluff up. I call it fluff up a little bit, gain a little bit of body fat, but you don’t, you don’t lose a lot. But I didn’t want that anymore. I stayed on it, and that’s what led to my blood pressure shooting up sky high.
Jonathan 23:39
I ignored it, and it kept shooting up just two or three weeks before this happened. Bill, he had me in the ER because my blood pressure was too high, and they gave me medicine. Got my blood pressure down. I went on home, and I still injected the steroids the next day. And so I asked for this, it was my fault. But yeah, the steroids took me out, it caused that artery to rupture in my vein due to high blood pressure.
Bill Gasiamis 24:08
Yeah, okay, so, Brittany, what’s it like experiencing that, knowing that this was preventable, that it should never have happened, and then watching it happen. Now, I understand that there’s some other stuff going on. This relationship is, you know, full of many different experiences and things and wife issues and husband issues and kid issues. Like, I totally get that, and I don’t want to cause, create any kind of conversation that is uncomfortable for you guys.
Bill Gasiamis 24:42
But I am curious, since on the podcast, you’re all willingly here, what’s it like being the wife of a person who has body dysmorphia? Let’s acknowledge that, and then B also takes this path to try and improve his physique I suppose.
Brittany 25:04
I don’t know, I have a little bit of body dysmorphia, but I would never touch anything. But it’s I would say that I was definitely not knowledgeable about steroids. I’ve never researched anything, looked anything into anything. It’s not something that like, you know, you hear some people take steroids and they’re just mean, it was nothing like that. So I’m like ‘Well, you know, but having high blood pressure and ignoring it.
Jonathan 25:38
The real, only side effect I got from the steroids were high blood pressure. I never got mean, I never got angry, I never got violent, destructive. It didn’t do those things to me, like you hear sometimes. It made me pretty normal. Now, it did raise my libidos through the roof, which, you know, that’s one of the side effects, and it generally made me pretty calm. It wasn’t bad like that.
Bill Gasiamis 26:07
When it raises the libido, you don’t necessarily see that as a negative either.
Jonathan 26:13
No, but it well, it can be negative like, yeah, trim alone raises your libido to where you can’t stop thinking about it. So 10, 15, times a minute, yeah.
Bill Gasiamis 26:30
Okay, so impacts the way you think, not only the way your body.
Jonathan 26:34
Oh yes.
Bill Gasiamis 26:34
But also the way you think about it.
Jonathan 26:38
Yep, absolutely.
Bill Gasiamis 26:40
Okay, and that was really interesting. What Brittany said, like, you didn’t know much about steroids, and he and the only thing we generally hear about is, you know, they’ve got roid rage. We hear that every so often, and that’s about the only thing I know about steroids. And you didn’t see any real major changes, and you thought ‘Well, seems to be going, okay, friends, getting the result. Yeah, just kidding.
Jonathan 27:11
I was result-driven. I got the results. Quickly she saw that, she saw how happy it made me. And I didn’t let her know all the dangers. I just told her ‘Hey, this is something I’m taking. Don’t worry about it, it’ll be okay. And then, you know, I just kept on going.
Bill Gasiamis 27:32
And when you look back now, did it actually make you happy, or was it not real happiness? It was just like a smoke screen of what you thought happiness, where you thought happiness came from.
Jonathan 27:46
That’s right, it was more like a smoke screen. It was something I’d wanted my whole life, so I’d started to obtain it. And so that did make me happy, but it was more of a smoke screen because I knew that once I stopped taking it, I was going to lose some of what I gained.
Bill Gasiamis 28:03
That’s the hook, that’s the whole thing. How often were you training?
Jonathan 28:11
Every day, six, sometimes seven days a week?
Bill Gasiamis 28:14
Hence, why? How many?
Jonathan 28:21
Sometimes multiple hours a day.
Bill Gasiamis 28:25
How much are you eating?
Jonathan 28:28
Man, probably anywhere from 8,000 to 10,000 calories a day when I was in my bulking phase to put on size, but I cut it back to about 3000 when I was trying to lean up and cut up.
Bill Gasiamis 28:42
And the bulking time is that part of that cycle where you are trying to put muscle on so that the muscle gets a larger. And then the cutting time is it time where you’re going and doing any kind of shows, or is it just summer? When is it? When do you kind of go into the cutting phase?
Jonathan 29:09
So bulking is just like you said, you’re trying to put on more muscle mass, but when you put on muscle mass, you have to eat a lot more. So you are going to get a little bit fluffy, put on a little bit of body fat. The cutting phase is more trying to get that dry look, lose all the water you’re retaining, lose all the body fat you’re retaining. Just kind of look like a Greek god. You just you’re chiseled everywhere.
Bill Gasiamis 29:33
Yeah, that’s such a fake thing. That’s such a temporary time, isn’t it? To be like that. How long can you sustain looking like that?
Jonathan 29:46
Well, if you’re taking the drugs, you can sustain for good if you’re on them, but if you’re off, you’ll lose most of that muscle mass, and you’ll definitely start to lose that dry look, probably within a month.
Bill Gasiamis 30:02
So when you’re looking great, you’re looking in the mirror, you’re loving it when you’re bulking up. Are you okay with the way that you look when you’re bulking up, or are you totally hating it?
Jonathan 30:14
I’m okay with it, not totally happy with it, but okay, because I know that I’m I’m gonna put on size that I’m gonna rip up, and I’m gonna look bigger and more cut. Now, one of the other things that you get is a lot of strength. You’re talking about average guy, five foot eight, I weigh 185 pounds. Now, when I’m doing those steroids, I’m benching 500 pounds. I can’t do that now. I’m not on anything now, so I can’t do that now.
Bill Gasiamis 30:46
So what about wear and tear joints, on your joints and all that, because of the steroids, are they healing quicker? There isn’t so much wear and tear. What happens there?
Jonathan 30:55
When you’re on the steroids, you don’t feel any pain. It’s like it’s not there, non existent. But now that I’m off of steroids, I have shoulder pain. I have joint pain. Yeah, it’s pretty common.
Fluffy but Loved: A 16-Year Journey of Humor and Affection
Bill Gasiamis 31:06
So, Brittany, you’re with a guy who for whatever reason, we’ll try and see if we can unpack the reason in a little bit, for whatever reason, looks after his body and looks great. Have you ever seen him in the time that you’ve known him, the time that he’s been a dad and all that kind of stuff, to not look great, to think ‘Oh, this guy doesn’t look good.
Brittany 31:36
I think he’s always looked great.
Jonathan 31:39
But pretty fluffy so.
Bill Gasiamis 31:43
Compared to who like in your eyes or like in.
Jonathan 31:50
Well, you know, yes, in her eyes too. She knew I was chubby, so we’ve been together 16 years. I’d say the first eight to 10 years. I was a little fluffy, I was a little overweight and but she still love me.
Bill Gasiamis 32:06
That’s what I’m getting at, right? Didn’t seem to be an issue, but for you, was it always an underlying issue?
Jonathan 32:15
Yes, yes.
Bill Gasiamis 32:17
Okay, Friday, so I’m just trying to get the psychology of the whole thing. You know, the thing that makes you make a decision, it’s like a drug. It becomes, it is a drug, I know steroids are. But we’re talking about the drug of the look, not the steroid, per se, the look and how you want to perceive yourself or other people to perceive is it about other people, how they perceive you, or is it about you?
Jonathan 32:45
All I want other people to look at me and say ‘Wow, look at that guy. And I also want to think of that myself. But like I said, all this comes from body dysmorphia and there’s a long history of it. In my life, I was raised up with no father, my mother was a heroin addict. My mother died of a heroin overdose when I was 14. I found her dead.
Jonathan 33:09
My entire life, I never had anybody telling me they love me. No parents to raise me. I had a deep, deep and dark childhood, and so that helped create the body dysmorphia I needed people to love me. I needed them to love what they saw that would help me love what I saw. And that was the reason for the body dysmorphia.
Bill Gasiamis 33:32
Brittany, is this the same guy that you knew just a few weeks ago talking this wisdom, literally a few weeks ago, was it? Yeah, that kind of stuff from coming then, yeah, he’s changed heaps. It sounds like the old you wasn’t considering any of these things. It sounds like you’ve changed heaps in that time. Is that right, Brittany?
Bill Gasiamis 34:09
That’s a great turnaround. I mean, I’m trying to emphasize that for the purpose of how quickly things can change, how quickly your mind can kind of fall into line and give you, give you information and wisdom that you didn’t have before. So how are you how do you see yourself different? How have you sort of noticed that transition?
Jonathan 34:30
Well, one thing is doing the steroids. Most of what I gained from doing the steroids has not gone away. I’m still in good shape, just not as muscular, not as strong, but the perspective I’ve gained is I’m almost 50 years old. I got a loving wife. I’ve been with her for so long, and I have six children with her, and they’re all, I’m all they got, and I have to provide for them and take care of them.
Jonathan 35:01
And the thought of not being here and them struggling without me scares me, and so I’ve made it a mission of mine to stay healthy, to eat right, to not do any nicotine, not I’ve even cut back where I don’t even drink caffeinated coffee. I drink decaf. I’m gonna change this. I feel like this is the second half of my life, and now’s the time to do it right.
Bill Gasiamis 35:26
Yeah, you know, with all the dramas of your life, being a young kid of 14, discovering what you discovered, being without your Dad, did you have any support during that time from any other extended family, from counseling services. Did you go? Did you have any support whatsoever?
Jonathan 35:47
No, my mother sent me to counseling services to get medication that I was supposed to take for issues I had as a child. But the medication was not for me. My mother would take them and sell them and then shoot them up, you know, do dope with them. So I didn’t really have a support system.
Bill Gasiamis 36:09
So has it been what’s life like been after you became an adult? Have you been able to transition into work properly at the beginning of this sort of after you’re 18 and all that kind of stuff. How did you kind of move out of that teenage phase where you’re meant to be unruly, crazy, not listening to anyone, when you have your parents around, but you had to do without your parents. So what was that transition like for you into adulthood?
Jonathan 36:40
I’ll let you know a little secret. I don’t tell many people, but since we’re here, I’ll tell you, it took it was a hard road at 17 years old, when my mother died, I found out that somebody shot her up with too much dope and robbed her. Well, I ran into that person when I was 17 years old and almost killed him. I went to prison for 10 years. I didn’t get out till I was 26 years old, and that’s when I made the transition I was I told myself ‘I’m too young for this, I can’t be a criminal.
Jonathan 37:16
I don’t want to go down the same path my mother went down. And I changed my, I turned my life around. Started studying information technology, studying computers, and then I got my first job, doing help desk, and I worked my way up to now. I work for a software company, and I’m a senior director of digital transformation now. So it was a long, hard road. I had to start from the bottom, but everything about me was about ‘Hey, I’m not supposed to be here. I’m going to prove them I am supposed to be here.
Jonathan 37:51
And I met my wife early in that journey, and she supported everything I did. We had to move, we moved from Virginia to California to New York to Texas to Florida twice. I mean, we’ve moved around a lot, and she’s been pregnant most of that time, but she still supported me, because I could not stay in the environment that I grew up in. I had to get away and start over new.
Bill Gasiamis 38:20
Yeah. Now that is intense, you to be commended. It sounds like though your dramatic moments in your life are really important for you to turn the next page and create this next chapter. You know different version of yourself, and you seem to really learn from your mistakes, based on what you’ve already described about what happened to you only a few months ago and also many years ago.
Bill Gasiamis 38:55
So Brittany, from your perspective, where are things at now? What other things that you need to pay attention to and support for, like, what’s left with regards to the stroke that needs to needs the continued support.
Brittany 39:16
Just life.
Jonathan 39:19
Yeah, one, a couple of you know, I make a joke of the stroke and the recovery, but early on, it’s been almost 16 weeks. So when I say early on, it was more like I was four weeks after the stroke, I started to experience a lot of anxiety and a lot of depression came with it too, and I’ve never had anxiety or depression ever in my life, really, that I can remember. But all of a sudden I start worrying about everything, what I’m eating, am I going to have another stroke?
Jonathan 39:52
You know, so much worry, and that turned to depression. Some days I’d wake up and I feel like there’s the in total despair, like, what is there left to live for? And this beautiful woman right here pulled me out of it every single time she made sure that I knew ‘Hey, you’re loved, you can’t go anywhere, you’re going to be okay. And that was the most important thing I needed. Then I don’t have any real anxiety anymore depression, but that was one of the toughest things I experienced since recovering from the strength.
Healing, Hope, and Progress: A Journey After Steroid Abuse and Stroke
Bill Gasiamis 40:25
So, I am honestly, like, I’m in a bit of situation where I’ve never been before. Things seem to have progressed really well, very short amount of time where, what are the doctors saying about this blood vessel now, about the bleed, about your blood pressure. Where is all of that?
Jonathan 40:46
Well, from what the doctor said, they did more CAT scans. They’ve done more checks since the stroke, and they said ‘Everything looks good. There’s no blockages, there’s no plaque buildup because I’ve been paying a lot of attention to cholesterol, and I’ve gotten scanned from head to toe, just looking, are there any plaque filled up, anything narrow blood vessels and nothing, everything looks good. So everything within my brain looks good, everything through my body.
Jonathan 41:14
The blood pressure was running really high at first. It’s now stabilized, not because of lifestyle. I’m eating right, drinking right, doing all the right things. It was mainly because I was anxious. I had a lot of anxiety, and so that was shooting my blood pressure up. Now I’m on blood pressure medicine, but it’s stabilized. Now I’m not I don’t have as much anxiety or anything like that. So right now, I feel like I’m as healthy as I’ve ever been.
Brittany 41:42
And that lesson, and God came with more recovery. It’s like ‘Oh, today I wake up and I feel clear. And, you know, my sight is good, the lights aren’t bothering me. It’s like that progress and like ‘Oh, I am getting better. I’m not going to have another stroke. And, you know, and then it’s like, and she’s there to reassure getting better and better every day.
Bill Gasiamis 42:08
So as the as things improve, as the risk perhaps decreases, as everything starts to stabilize, then the mind can be eased, and then with a little bit of support and a little bit of encouragement, then those thoughts can go away. Then that makes sense that anxiety is kind of around when you’re unwell. Completely makes sense that it’s part of that illness. And many stroke survivors comment about exactly the same thing will happen on the stroke.
Bill Gasiamis 42:40
And kind of put themselves in a situation where they’re overthinking all the things which is very normal and and that’s good. That means that you’re able to be around for your family and for your wife and for everybody that needs you and loves you, and where, where are you at with the body dysmorphia, part of the whole journey? How do you think about that?
Jonathan 43:07
Now, I honestly do not even think about it. The thing is, Bill, I started going back to the gym, and I have a gym at home, and now I’ve gotten my weight back up to around 185 I’m still about 20-25, pounds lighter. But as I look in the mirror and I’m lifting weights, the same veins still pop out, the same muscle, and I’m like ‘Wow, I still got it. I don’t need body muscle. I look good, and I’m no drugs, no stimulants, no anything. I’m just going to do it all natural.
Bill Gasiamis 43:42
That’s it perfectly, that’s good, that keeps you healthy, that keeps your muscle mass, that keeps you strong, that does all the amazing things that being physically active always. Did you know?
Jonathan 43:54
Did you know what else? I want to talk to people. I’ve decided that I want to get out there and start to speak, to tell people what happened to me, the dangers of using steroids, the dangers of using some of these supplements, let them know my story and what I went through, and hopefully help somebody else one day.
Bill Gasiamis 44:19
I think that’s really important, lot of stroke survivors do that. They want to reach out and make sure people know about the risks of whatever it was that they were doing that caused their preventable stroke. For example, I’ve interviewed a couple of guys who’ve had damage to their carotid artery as a result, I think it was the karate artery as a result of jiu jitsu choking. So they’re in Ju-Jitsu, they’re training, you know, they’re practicing, and they’re competing.
Bill Gasiamis 44:51
So in the compete, in the competitions, either the opponent is trying to choke them out, because it’s a quick way to get a tap out. So, in training, they’re practicing choking people out. I mean, I can’t think of anything more stupid, to be honest, than practicing to choke people out. Now, the couple of guys that I interviewed had some damage to the back of their necks. And as a result of that, they had a stroke.
Bill Gasiamis 45:23
And as a result of that, you know, they went through a lot of the dramas that we’ve always already spoken about on this podcast episode and many others before this. And they wanted to reach out and make sure that they told people of the dangers of Ju-Jitsu, that part of it specifically where there’s a lot of blunt force trauma, there’s impact to the arteries, and people don’t realize how sensitive they are, and what they were experiencing was dissections.
Bill Gasiamis 45:52
So the inside of the artery was just tearing off a little bit, and it was creating a little flap. Now there’s nothing wrong with the artery. It’s not going to break and bleed or anything like that further. But that little tear inside that creates the flap inside the blood vessel changes the blood flow and causes clots. That was that’s the only thing it does. Sometimes it heals by itself, it goes back and it goes back to position. Other times it needs to be clipped. But the guys reach out. We need to tell people about this thing.
Bill Gasiamis 46:22
Because nobody talks about the injuries that are associated to the brain after Ju-Jitsu. So that’s common, and I really like the fact that you reached out for that reason and also prepared to tell me about things that a lot of people wouldn’t be prepared to tell somebody on a podcast that goes worldwide, you know, now, with regards to the steroids, are there any withdrawal symptoms? Do you notice anything other than how much you can lift, etc? Do you notice the body kind of needing to reset?
Jonathan 46:59
The body kinda reset it. First, my strength went down really low. I wasn’t sure if it was due to the stroke or was it just because I came off the steroids, but my strength went really low, so I’ve had to reset and build that back up. Now it’s come comes back pretty quick, it’s called muscle memory. It came back pretty quick. I’m still not as strong, I probably will never be as strong as I used to be, because I’m going to be clean now.
Jonathan 47:26
But there is a part two, coming off steroids that’s mental as well before, prior to the stroke and I was on the heavy steroids every day and working out every day, and my wife can attest to this. I lived and breathed body building. I lived and breathed lifting weights. I looked in the mirror constantly. It’s all I thought about, it’s all I did. And man, you know that part of my life’s gone now. It’s different.
Jonathan 47:57
So there wasn’t a tad bit of depression at first, not doing that anymore, not having anything like my goal was to be super strong, super big, super muscular. Now that’s not my goal anymore. So I had to refine myself. I had to find new goals, new hopes, new things to do with my time and because sitting around just makes you depressed.
Jonathan 48:21
So now I’ve put my focus into let’s go out and help other people. You know, I can stay in shape going to the gym. I’m almost 50 years old, I don’t need to be big and, you know, bodybuilder anymore. Let’s go out and help people.
Bill Gasiamis 48:39
Yeah, would you say there’s a little bit of OCD in that level of trying to build weight obsessive compulsive disorder? Is it? Because it seems like it’s an OCD kind of pursuit in that, oh my gosh, you know that that muscle is not popping the way it needs to the one that no one else has ever seen. Brittany, it was, was he? Look at my back. Tell me what it looks like all the time.
Brittany 49:11
Yes, take a picture of my back. Let me see I’m like, it looks good.
Jonathan 49:17
Yeah, even when it looked good, I could find issues with it. So, yeah, it’s definitely OCD a part of it.
Shifting Focus: From Gym Junkie to Mentor and Role Model
Bill Gasiamis 49:24
So that I and then the transition I can imagine is very different. You were focusing on nothing but your body the gym. You were a gym junkie, basically, yeah, and what are you focusing on now? Where are your thoughts now? Who are they on now?
Jonathan 49:42
Well, I work in technology. I’m focusing now on growing my knowledge in technology, again, because it’s a never ending learning thing you have to do in technology. I’m focusing on helping my company. I’m at a director level. I can be a President, Vice President, one day I have the wits about me, and now I’m focusing my time on I want to help people. I want to put the news the message. Not only want to do I want to help people that are thinking about or doing steroids, the dangers.
Jonathan 50:17
I want to help people, coaching them, mentoring them in real life. There are a lot of kids out here that have went through what I went through, not having parents, having a deceased parent, living on the streets, being poverty stricken. Well, I come from all of that. I’ve seen nothing but violence, drugs, sexual abuse, things like that as a kid. And there’s gotta be kids out there that I can reach and help get through that.
Jonathan 50:41
There’s adults that’s that are hooked on drugs, that are they’re doing having substance abuse issues that need somebody like me to to mentor them and coach them along. And that’s where I really my passions there. I want to help these people.
Bill Gasiamis 50:57
Seems like you’re a good guy, generally speaking, and I haven’t known you for much so, like, it just seems that way. So I’m gonna, I’m very comfortable saying it. Brittany seems like an amazing, supportive person as well. 6 kids, it says a lot about you guys. I can’t, I could barely deal with 2 kids when I was a dad. So to land 6. So my hat goes off to you guys for that. That’s an amazing accomplishment. And one of the things that I’m very conscious of is this the example that I’m setting for my kids.
Bill Gasiamis 51:33
Because they’re boys. They were teenagers when I was going through my illness, like the real serious part of it. And I kind of felt like, how do I want the example to be about how I’m going to go through the recovery? And, you know, because I could go through it really badly, I could be really annoying and terrible and make it all about me, and, you know, not take other people into consideration. And of course, when I had a stroke, it’s not just me that has it.
Bill Gasiamis 52:06
Everyone goes through it, the whole family, extended family, etc, when you were going to the gym and doing the weights, if your kids had come to you and said ‘Hey, I’m going to go to the gym and start shooting up steroids. Would that have been okay with you? Would you have?
Brittany 52:26
No.
Bill Gasiamis 52:27
No, Brittany immediately. I didn’t even finish the sentence, and Jonathan, though as well. But that’s the thing about it is, is that the dysmorphia part of it sort of stops you from seeing that thing that you wouldn’t let your kids do. That’s not okay for them, it was still okay for you.
Jonathan 52:47
Yeah. I mean, I knew the dangers of steroids, but I kept doing them because of my own issues. Now, for my children, they did. They went to the gym with me, they worked out with me, they always asked to go with me and I took them, but there was never any speaking of steroid use or supplement using. They’d see me make my morning shake, but that’s about it.
Bill Gasiamis 53:10
Yeah, and did they learn later that this is the reason why I ended up in hospital? Have they learned that yet?
Jonathan 53:18
No, they don’t know anything about steroids, and I’m going to try to keep it from them as long as I can, when one day when they can understand, I’ll let them know, but that is a long time from now, I just let them know I had a stroke, and I’m still training and still working hard. Now I get excited about my milestones, and when I make accomplishments, I’ll let them know about that. And my little boys, 9 years old, they come up to me and say ‘Ain’t no stroke going to keep you down. So that’s great, that’s a feel good moment.
Bill Gasiamis 53:50
Yeah, what happens if they stumble on this podcast interview? And for some reason, your teenage kids, which they probably never will, but decide to actually listen to it and go, beginning to end.
Jonathan 54:04
Well, my girls, are the only ones as teenagers now, and I’ll let them know really quick that do steroids if you want, you’ll be looking like a guy.
Bill Gasiamis 54:16
No, I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about if they come across this interview and hear what their dad did.
Jonathan 54:24
Yeah, to be honest with you, they’d probably be a little upset with me that I put myself in that kind of danger. But you know, we’re a tight family, like I said, it’s me and her and the kids, that’s all we got. We have no other family, and we’re tight knit, so they realize that ‘Hey, we might make mistakes, but we’re going to move forward. We’re going to move forward.
Bill Gasiamis 54:51
Yeah, everyone makes mistakes. The thing about mistakes sometimes is, you know, they end real bad, there was no intention to, right. And that’s the thing about steroids, I know there’s a lot of stories about people who have really made themselves unwell or not made it through some kind of a medical complication as a result of of that.
Bill Gasiamis 55:17
And it’s such a good thing to have you here to share that story, to learn your lesson, to look at new ways to I say, I suppose, give energy to that part of you that needs to give energy some it sounds like you’ve got an excessive amount of energy. If you just focus on the wrong thing, it might go there. But if you focus on the right thing and it goes there, then amazing things can happen, like have already happened, right?
Bill Gasiamis 55:44
Some of those amazing things include your wife, your family, your kids, clearly, a lot of that energy at the right time was put in the direction of something amazing, and that proof is in the pudding, the outcome is great. And then that you stray off a little bit, and you don’t realize that you’ve strayed off, and you’ve just gone down that little direction that you thought that’s not a big deal.
Bill Gasiamis 56:07
You’re going to start down there. But you know that, you know taking a one degree shift off course at the beginning of the journey doesn’t seem so bad, but 10 years down the track, that one degree you know has gone so far off course, you’ve got no idea how you even got there.
Jonathan 56:24
Yeah, Bill, I’m one of those people. My personality is, if I’m going to do it, I’m all in. So if I’m going to do something, I’m all in and passionate about it. So I was that way about steroids at one time. Now that I know that I will never do it again. The opposite. I’m completely passionate about not doing it, making sure that I stay clean and do it naturally.
Bill Gasiamis 56:51
I like the sound of that, and that probably ends up becoming passionate about advocacy, about being against steroids and not doing steroids and training naturally, because you can influence a lot of people going into that potential path before they get there, or even if they’ve just entered, you could potentially help get them out.
Bill Gasiamis 57:15
Because, you know, the underlying reason that it’s happening for a lot of people, it could be body dysmorphia. Do you think that’s a big thing in the gym? Is Body Dysmorphia a huge thing in the gym that people aren’t speaking about?
Jonathan 57:29
Yes, I think it’s huge. I think a lot of people have body dysmorphia. They don’t talk about it. But here, in the past 10 years or so, the epide, I call it an epidemic of steroid use, because you got kids now, 16, 1718, that young doing steroids, not because they’re fat, not because they’re underweight or don’t have the potential. Actually at that age, they had the highest potential. Their testosterone levels are so high at that age, that they could build that muscle without drugs. But they want it all, and they want it now.
Jonathan 58:07
And there is an epidemic going on of using, I call it peds, performance enhancing drugs. And they’re using everything out here now, everything, and it’s given them a lot of danger. Not only that, I have a stroke and have those health complications from using steroids, it also made my heart thick, the lining of my heart thick. I had heart problems at first, and I had to take medication to get my heart back right at a normal level, and they said that it would be congestive heart failure if I didn’t stop.
Jonathan 58:46
And they said they’re glad I stopped. They give me medication now my heart is strengthened back and came back, and it’s doing well now. But steroids not only have dangers with blood pressure and brain and arteries, you have serious, serious complications with your heart.
Brittany 59:04
And you really don’t know what you’re injecting into yourself, who you’re getting it from. You can’t trust people, companies. You could be just injecting poison into yourself. Yep, very true.
Bill Gasiamis 59:18
Yeah. And these kids, if they’re starting off that young, they’re interfering with their reproduction. They must be interfering with all sorts of things.
Jonathan 59:29
Yes, by doing testosterone. And see when you’re doing steroids, testosterone is always the base. You have to have a test, because most of the steroids, the regular ones, it’s the pressure testosterone. So when you start doing testosterone, guess what it does? It cuts off your ability to make your own natural testosterone. So no more babies can’t make babies anymore. You’re shooting, they call it shooting blanks, and you can’t make and then even if you come off of the testosterone, it is extreme.
Jonathan 1:00:00
Only difficult to ever produce your on your own anymore. So you might not ever be able to have kids. You might shut your testosterone forever. And if you take too much testosterone, it can have an adverse effect. It can cause gynomasia, which is guys form breast tissue and also it can make you retain a lot of water, which can drive your blood pressure up. It can do a lot of things. So steroids are just they have a lot of complications, and most of these kids out here now are taking them and don’t even know what they’re doing to themselves.
The Stroke’s Impact: Jonathan’s Transformation and Future Vision
Bill Gasiamis 1:00:39
Yeah, yeah. Well, man, I’m glad you reached out and Tom your story, I’ll be happy to share it and let people know the risks and then, and then, I hope that, hopefully that becomes that sort of foundation for you to take this to the next level and spread the message more in whatever way that you choose to do. So, as we’re coming to the end of the episode, I want to ask you three questions that I ask stroke survivors.
Bill Gasiamis 1:01:11
Brittany can answer these as well, because I’ll ask them, and she can answer from the perspective of a caregiver. But for you, first, Jonathan, what’s the hardest thing about stroke so far?
Jonathan 1:01:28
So far, the hardest thing has been the depression and the anxiety and wondering, What am I going to do next? Am I going to survive this? Is it going to happen again?
Bill Gasiamis 1:01:44
Yeah. And Brittany, what about you? What has been the hardest thing for you to go through while your husband was unwell?
Brittany 1:01:53
I would say just the unknown at first and then having to like, suppress my own anxiety, till I do the things to help his anxiety and depression.
Bill Gasiamis 1:02:09
So you got to kind of put yourself on pause for right now, stay in the holding pattern, get him over the line, and then get back to yourself, I imagine, at some stage, and sort of start supporting yourself again? Yeah, so this is a big question for you, Jonathan, because it seems like you’ve already spoken about these things, but what have you learned about your stroke or not about your stroke? What has stroke taught you?
Advice and Insights for Stroke Survivors and Caregivers
Jonathan 1:02:39
Yeah, it’s taught me one why I had the stroke, and why did I do those things to begin with, I was a normal, healthy, male, beautiful family wanted to do those things. So it’s taught me to look for other ways to, I don’t know, do things with my time, to care more about myself, put my family above myself, you know, my body dysmorphia. And I’ve learned a lot of scientific information on what a stroke was, how it happens, the different kinds and ways to keep myself healthier, what to prevent. And that’s one of the key things I’ve learned.
Bill Gasiamis 1:03:22
What has this time taught you? Brittany.
Brittany 1:03:32
Having more empathy for you just never know what somebody’s going through. I mean, you really don’t. You can look totally normal and it can be going through a worse situation. You just never know.
Bill Gasiamis 1:03:49
And that’s a interesting thing about people who have strokes with deficits that aren’t visible. For example, if their hand is not injured, or the leg is not injured, if they’re walking, they have what they call invisible deficits, right? And it’s me and my left side hurts and it feels different. My balance is, you know, but you see me in the street, you wouldn’t have a clue. And it’s really hard trying to convince somebody you’re having a really bad day when you look great as like.
Bill Gasiamis 1:04:19
The words don’t match the appearance, and it’s like, oh my god, this is so hard, so hard to to convince anybody of anything. But I appreciate what you’re saying. So this is also an interesting question. You could probably talk on this for an hour, which you already have, but I’m going to ask it again anyway, there are other stroke survivors and other people that are listening to this podcast, and they’re trying to get a tip or some advice or some wisdom or whatever they’re trying to gain from it. Right?
Bill Gasiamis 1:04:57
What do you? Jonathan? Want to tell the. Stroke Survivors about their journey, and perhaps some other people who may be listening because they’re they’re in the gym, and they found out about you, and now they’re listening to this podcast. What’s the message for the stroke survivors, and what’s the message for people who are not structure wise.
Jonathan 1:05:23
Really four different words, resiliency, perseverance, strength and family. You gotta be resilient. You can’t stop. You gotta go. You gotta grind. You gotta keep working as hard as you can and not stop. It’s all about repetition and staying staying with it, and keep working hard, perseverance, knowing in your heart that you’re going to persevere and make it through this. You’re going to do whatever it takes, and you’re going to get through it strength.
Jonathan 1:05:55
The strength to get up every day, to face the world with your limitations, with your injuries, anything that’s going on, knowing that you can do it and you’re going to make it passive and being strong. Don’t lay down for anybody. Just keep moving forward. And then family. Look for your family. Look for the people that love you the most, to support you. Stay around them.
Jonathan 1:06:17
They’re going to help you get through the rough moments, the anxiety, the depression, things like that. I had my family. This is the only family I’ve got. And if it weren’t for her, I don’t know if I could have made it through so family is so important. That’s what I would tell each and every survivor out there before.
Bill Gasiamis 1:06:34
I ask Brittany. Something came up while you were saying that, that’s awesome. What you’ve said those four words, um, was steroids, a short route to something that you could have done that was harder to do. Do you know how you kind of mentioned you put the hard work in, etc. Were you trying to take a short path to that, or were you also doing the hard work and then trying to just take another path? What was that like?
Jonathan 1:07:05
Well, again, doing steroids, it helps you get there quicker, but you still gotta put in the hard work. You still gotta lift heavy and all these things, but yes, definitely trying to get there quicker. I didn’t start till I was 40 plus years old, and I was like, Well, I’m behind as it is, so let me get a little help to move ahead faster.
Bill Gasiamis 1:07:26
Okay, so that was part of the motivator, okay, yeah. And Brittany, from a caregivers perspective, a wife’s perspective, what, I don’t know, what, what? What would you like to kind of leave for people to consider after what you’ve been through.
Brittany 1:07:50
Never give up. There’s always a better day ahead. Don’t, yeah, don’t take the hard road. Don’t take the quick and easy thing.
Jonathan 1:08:03
As a caregiver. What would you tell other caregivers? Yeah, how should they be? How should they treat the situation? Because bill a lot of a lot, a lot of times, I see people in stroke groups where their caregiver laughs at them or makes fun of them or doesn’t quite the invisible injuries like you were talking about. They don’t quite see them, so they’re like, Oh, you’re not in pain. Get up. You look fine. Well, you know, you gotta have somebody really understanding and loving to help you through those times.
Brittany 1:08:32
Well, that’s just sad, because I don’t know who would say those things to their loved ones or even a stranger, but, yeah.
Steroid Abuse and Stroke: Final Thoughts and Encouragement
Bill Gasiamis 1:08:41
Ignorant people often not willingly ignorant, just people like I was before true, just ignorant of other people’s experiences, because I was too wrapped up in my own experience. And then I spent some time in a wheelchair, and I realized, oh, people in a wheelchair aren’t just sitting down. There’s a lot more going on. And yeah, I had no idea. And then when I found myself in one and had all the limitations of somebody who’s in a wheelchair, it was like, oh, man, I was an idiot. I had no idea what I was doing.
Bill Gasiamis 1:09:19
So that’s, that’s that’s the kind of people that do it, people that are just don’t know any better. It’s great that you’re more aware and you’re more empathetic. It’s probably a female thing as well. Can females tend to be a little more empathetic? I feel at least that’s my experience from the research that I’ve done with all the dumb mates and blokes that I know, but it’s been lovely to chat to you guys. Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing the story. I really appreciate it.
Bill Gasiamis 1:09:50
I wish you well in your health, your recovery and Brittany. I wish you some time so that you can start looking after the things that you need to you. Get back onto looking after so you guys can be healthy and well for your children, because there’s no point everybody. There’s still. One of the things that I try to sort of impart on a family who’s going through this is, you know, sometimes the relatives and the family, they kind of all suffer their own version of deterioration or breakdown after a caregiver.
Bill Gasiamis 1:10:28
Because they’re a caregiver after their loved one has a stroke, we can’t have 356, people in the family sick at the same time. Let’s look after ourselves so that we can be able to be well, to support that person who’s going through that, but also to not make things even more complicated and even harder. As you know, that’s kind of how I see it.
Bill Gasiamis 1:10:53
Caregivers forget to take care of themselves. They put everything that’s about self care on hold, and then they just put it all into other people. And that’s I wish for you. You’re probably already doing it, but I wish for you that you have some time for yourself.
Brittany 1:11:10
We’re equal. We kind of, we take care of each other regardless.
Jonathan 1:11:16
Yeah, even with my stroke, I’m, I’m always looking after her, making sure she’s okay. Because, you know, I’ve been the sole provider for this family for a long time, and I’ve been the protector the persons there, and even when I was in a wheelchair. I mean, hard to give that up. When you provide them, you take care of your family. I don’t care if I’m in a wheelchair, I’m gonna do something.
Bill Gasiamis 1:11:39
Yeah. I get it. I really appreciate you both. Thank you so much for being on the podcast. Yep, thank you, Bill. That brings us to the end of this episode with Jonathan and Brittany. Jonathan’s journey of recovery after a stroke and Brittany’s unwavering support as his wife and caregiver remind us of the power of resilience, love and determination in the face of life altering challenges. If today’s conversation resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you.
Bill Gasiamis 1:12:12
Please Like, Comment and Subscribe on YouTube, and if you’re listening on Spotify or iTunes, a five star rating or review would mean so much. It helps others discover the podcast and join our supportive community. Remember to check out my book The unexpected way that a stroke became the best thing that happened. Some readers have called it a must read and shared how it has helped them stay positive through their recovery. It’s available on Amazon or at recoveryafterstroke.com/book.
Bill Gasiamis 1:12:53
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Intro 1:13:11
Importantly, we present many podcasts designed to give you an insight and understanding into the experiences of other individuals. Opinions and treatment protocols discussed during any podcast are the individual’s own experience, and we do not necessarily share the same opinion, nor do we recommend any treatment protocol discussed all content on this website and any linked blog podcast or video material controlled this website, or content, is created and produced for informational purposes only, and is largely based on the personal experience of Bill Gasiamis.
Intro 1:13:28
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Intro 1:13:53
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Intro 1:14:18
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