It’s Bill from recoveryafterstroke.com it’s been a while since I’ve done one of these videos so I wanted to discuss emotions and stroke. And there’s a really good reason why because on the weekend I spent some time at a 50th birthday party with a lovely friend of mine and her friends.
And most of these people were strangers to me although I knew a few people there when I got talking and chatting to some of these other strangers I found myself in a situation where even nine years after stroke when the conversation got deep about the things that I have and haven’t done or the things that I have neglected to do or the passions that i have that I haven’t followed through with.
I fell into this place of crying with this stranger, an amazing lady who was really cool when i was crying but i found myself explaining things to her and being in tears and I thought i was really over all of this crying stuff especially after nine years of coaching and psychological therapy and podcasts and interviews and doing a lot of deep work a lot of soul searching a lot of taking action in things that I haven’t taken action on.
It still seems like there’s a whole heap of things that i haven’t taken action on that I really need to take action on because my heart was singing out for me to do these things and I wasn’t paying attention i wasn’t really listening and i was listening in other areas.
And perhaps I’ve been overwhelmed and been distracted by some of those other things that I have done that were also part of my to do list I suppose but there was a whole bunch of things that I haven’t done that would kind of push the side and I reckon the reason they were pushed aside is because even after I became really aware of what i haven’t haven’t done.
Even after I decided that i was going to do a lot of things that were being put on the back burner because of life because it’s too hard because I’m too busy or because I’m recovering from stroke it seems like there’s a whole bunch of things that I haven’t actually paid much attention to or enough attention to.
And wouldn’t you know it took me meeting a stranger at a birthday party who asked the right questions at the right time to really get me to open up and go to places I had never been before.
So I kind of feel like she was a coach of source a counselor and I thanked him for the therapy session and we had a bit of a laugh about it and then at the end of the afternoon it was about a four or five-hour event and then at the end of the afternoon we’re kind of hang around were the last few people to leave those about five or six of us.
And while I was sitting there my friend who I really appreciate said to me who would have thought that x amount of years ago that we’ve met that I would have been at her birthday party and we would have been enjoying a lovely time together with a whole bunch more females than men so there was 12 people at this party and there was 11 females and just me so i was kind of the token guy.
And it was supposed to be a soul sisters event and unfortunately I throw a spanner in the works and I had to be the lone soul brother so i had a lot of attention from the women but not from a point of view of anything silly but from a point of view of it was odd to have me the single man not single from a relationship status my wife was also with me but the only man at the event.
And it was just a little bit strange and bizarre and there was this expectation that perhaps I wouldn’t appreciate being there alone and being there well alone being there as the only male but I really did appreciate didn’t make a difference I was there for my friend’s birthday but as I was saying I got to the end of the party.
And we were chatting and around the circle of five or six people sharing all these amazing coincidences and things that happened that led me to be there and of course i started crying again so here i am now crying in front of five people instead of just one person before and again it was as a result of things coming up that well obviously sitting there in the background that hasn’t been addressed or spoken about.
And i felt so lucky to be able to be in a position where I could cry where I could express myself and where i wasn’t going to be judged and i wasn’t going to be told that i was too soft or sensitive or something like that i suppose why i’m telling this story is because it’s still okay to cry it’s still okay to have emotions it’s still okay to not be over everything even nine or 10 years after stroke because trauma is life that it needs a lot of work.
And that is why i became a coach to help people deal with their trauma because i get coached regularly and i also receive counseling regularly so i understand what it’s like to receive this beautiful opportunity to express myself and to get stuff off my chest and to lighten the load and that’s why i became a coach almost more than 10 or 11 years ago now.
And I’ve been helping people from all walks of life all backgrounds and recently i changed my focus and shift my focus to stroke survivors because i can relate to stroke survivors more than anybody and hopefully you can relate to me and that’s why you follow the recovery after stroke Instagram page and that’s why you perhaps listen to the recovery after stroke podcast.
And I had an interesting conversation with somebody recently via email who contacted me after i subscribed to my newsletter and downloaded a free PDF from my website the pdf is called Seven Questions To Ask Your Doctor About Your Stroke there are seven questions that I wish that I had asked and i didn’t know to ask them at the time because I was recovering from strike my brain wasn’t working properly.
So I created this for people to download and of course it’s so that i can interact with them as well and update them on the things that i’m doing and the services that i’m offering but of course it’s free so there’s no obligation to it but once i receive their email address i will send them a little bit of information about me and some follow up emails just to see how they’re going and if they need any of the services that i’m offering like coaching.
And this person responded and said what makes you think Bill that you can coach me and help me with my stroke recovery? And I found that a little bit strange and bizarre although it’s a great question and I didn’t take it personally or get upset about it but you’re at my website you’re listening to the recovery after stroke podcast it’s free by the way you’re downloading a free PDF because you’re curious about what the questions are that you can ask your doctor so you’re getting support from me.
But you don’t think that I can coach you? What makes you think that you can recover from stroke on your own of course there’s a part of the recovery that requires the medical system the doctors and it requires nurses and requires brain surgery perhaps and requires all the specialist support and services to deal with the physical body you know the the actual stuff inside your cranium.
But who helps you deal with the other part of stroke recovery? Who helps you overcome the trauma and the emotional heartache and the difficulties and the challenges every day? And who helps you reassess your life and make new things happen and allow you to express who you truly are and who helps you do all those things? The doctors only help you go home they don’t help you after that.
And don’t get me wrong without doctors I wouldn’t be here so I’m extremely grateful for the fact that they helped me go home but somebody else now has to take the baton and help you with the rest of the recovery because the recovery isn’t just the physical body isn’t just I can walk now and now I’m recovered from stroke it isn’t just stitching up your head after brain surgery.
There’s three parts to stroke recovery there’s the emotional side there’s the physical side and there’s the mental side of stroke recovery so i find it interesting when somebody says what makes you think i can help you from what makes me think that i can help them with their stroke recovery when they’ve downloaded a free podcast episode they’ve downloaded a free PDF and the receiving free emails and i haven’t asked for a single thing from them other than let them know that I offer coaching and if they would like to be a part of that that i could be.
So I definitely understand that I am not here to support and help everybody and i’m not trying to do that but i’m just trying to ask the question what makes you think you don’t need help after you go home from the hospital? That is when the recovery really starts that is when the recovery really gets into action and gets into gear because now you’re on your own and you’re dealing with all the stuff that stroke caused you but all that undealt with emotions that you’ve carried around your whole entire life stuff that you’ve never dealt with.
You’ve swept under the carpet or you’ve never had the tools to deal with or you didn’t know you needed to deal with it however it was that you got to where you are now i guarantee you there’s stuff that you haven’t dealt with and I’m only saying that from my experience so maybe you’re different but from my experience I found myself crying for the majority of this event on the weekend because somebody asked me the right question at the right time and guided me just without judgment guided me on this path of just releasing some additional trauma that I had been experiencing that i didn’t know was there.
So it was a really great time for me to do that I felt safe I felt comfortable and I encourage you if you are interested in recovery after stroke coaching get in-touch just asked me what it’s about and i’ll let you know there’s no obligation you can try for free and if it’s not for you i’ll even give you your money back if you’ve paid but if i’m not the guy to help you that’s okay too go and seek somebody else out.
Find somebody that can help you with your recovery ongoing and can support you so that you can release the trauma that you’ve been holding on to for all these years whether it’s relationship trauma whether it’s a trauma that you experienced as a child whether it’s other kinds of trauma that you’ve never dealt with that are still there and now you have to deal with stroke recovery trauma and the trauma of nearly dying and the trauma of not being able to use one of your limbs or more of your limbs or whether you’re in a wheelchair.
And that is traumatic whatever is traumatic to you it’s time that maybe you reached out to somebody and asked for some help because I might not be the one that can help you but there is somebody out there that can help you with your stroke recovery and help you move on so that you’re a new better version of yourself even after the stroke
This is Bill from recoveryafterstroke.com thank you for listening and let me know if you’ve had a similar experience where you’re in a public event or a private event or a family event and all of a sudden you’ve broken out in tears I look forward to hearing from you.