Etanercept Stroke Recovery: Wesley Ray’s Relentless Comeback

Etanercept Stroke Recovery: What You Need to Know

Introduction: No Hope? No Quit.

For many stroke survivors, the message is the same: “This is as good as it gets.” Doctors talk about plateaus. Friends drift away. The system quietly suggests that progress stops after a few months.

But here’s the truth: recovery doesn’t end unless you quit. And for some survivors, new frontiers in treatment are offering reasons to keep pushing forward. One of the most talked about and controversial is etanercept stroke therapy, often delivered as perispinal etanercept.

This post dives into what it is, what the research says, and what survivors need to know.

What Is Etanercept?

Etanercept, also known by the brand name Enbrel, is a medication originally developed for autoimmune conditions like rheumatoid arthritis. It works by blocking TNF (tumor necrosis factor), a chemical involved in inflammation.

Researchers began asking: if inflammation plays a role in the brain after stroke, could etanercept help restore function? That question led to etanercept stroke clinical trials and off-label treatments around the world.

Perispinal Etanercept Stroke Treatment

The approach most often used in stroke recovery is called perispinal etanercept. Instead of injecting the drug into a vein or muscle, it’s given into the tissues near the spine, allowing it to reach the brain more directly.

Some survivors report immediate improvements: clearer speech, better movement, sharper memory. Others notice subtler changes over weeks. And some notice no change at all.

That range of responses has fueled both hope and controversy.

Etanercept Stroke Clinical Trials

Here’s where it gets real. Etanercept stroke clinical trials are still limited. The treatment is not yet FDA-approved for stroke recovery. Some early studies and case series suggest promising results, particularly in areas like:

• Motor function (arm and leg movement)
• Speech and language
• Cognition and clarity
• Mood and energy
  

But larger, double-blind, placebo-controlled trials, the gold standard of science, are still needed.

This means survivors are often left at a crossroads: do you wait for more evidence, or do you pursue the treatment knowing it’s experimental?

Etanercept Stroke in Australia

Interest has grown worldwide, including in Australia. While some survivors search for an etanercept stroke Australia trial, at the time of writing, most treatments are still offered in limited clinics overseas. That often means significant travel and cost.

For many, this raises a painful question: how far are you willing to go for even a chance at improvement?

Enbrel Stroke Recovery: What Survivors Say

The name Enbrel is often used interchangeably with etanercept. And if you type “Enbrel stroke recovery” into YouTube or survivor forums, you’ll see countless stories. Some show dramatic before-and-after videos. Others describe disappointment.

That’s the nature of experimental treatment. There are no guarantees. But there is one constant: those who pursue it are unwilling to settle.

The Mindset That Matters

Let’s cut through the noise. Whether you pursue etanercept, stem cells, or any other therapy, the mindset is non-negotiable:

• Set short, measurable goals. Don’t just dream of “getting better.” Define it. One push-up. One step. One clear sentence.

   

• Win the day. Do the work today. Not next week. Not after someone rescues you. Today.

   

• Reject limits. Doctors, statistics, and skeptics will tell you recovery stops. They’re wrong. Neuroplasticity continues for life.

   

• Stay relentless. Some treatments will help. Some won’t. But your effort is never wasted. Movement, challenge, and struggle. They all fire the brain.

This is where stroke recovery looks a lot like elite training. You don’t back down because the weights are heavy. You adapt, you adjust, and you push again tomorrow.

Should You Try Etanercept Stroke Treatment?

That’s a decision only you — in consultation with your medical team — can make. Here’s a framework:

1. Know the facts. Etanercept is off-label for stroke. Clinical trials are ongoing, but definitive proof isn’t here yet.

    

2. Assess the risks. While generally safe in autoimmune conditions, etanercept can increase infection risk and has side effects.

    

3. Count the cost. Treatments are expensive and rarely covered by insurance.

    

4. Set expectations. Some people notice rapid change. Others notice a gradual change. Some notice none.

But if you’re considering it, here’s the hard truth: no therapy works without you showing up every day. Etanercept may be a tool. But you are the engine.

👉 Want to see real survivor experiences with etanercept stroke treatment? I’ve collected interviews and recovery updates on my YouTube channel. Watch the Etanercept Stroke Playlist here.

Key Takeaways

• Etanercept stroke recovery is an emerging, experimental frontier.

   

• Delivered as perispinal etanercept, it aims to reduce brain inflammation and unlock function.

   

• Etanercept stroke clinical trials show promise, but more rigorous studies are needed.

   

• Survivors worldwide — including those searching for an etanercept stroke Australia trial — are watching closely.

   

• Whether through Enbrel, therapy, or pure grit, the principle remains: never quit.

   

“Hope is powerful. But hope means nothing without action. Win the day. Stack the small victories. That’s how you fight back after stroke.”

Final Word

If you’re exploring etanercept stroke treatment or any advanced therapy, go in informed. Respect the risks. Know the science. But above all — remember that no drug replaces discipline.

Because in the end, stroke recovery belongs to those who refuse to stop.

Disclaimer

This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Please consult your doctor before making any changes to your health or recovery plan.

Wesley Ray: From Hemorrhagic Stroke to Relentless Recovery

They told him “no hope.” Wesley Ray turned that into fuel, proving stroke recovery is possible with relentless goals and grit.

Hanson Rehab Glove by Syrebo
Support The Recovery After Stroke Podcast on Patreon

Transcript:

Wesley Ray’s Life Before the Stroke

Bill Gasiamis 0:00
Hey there, it’s Bill Gasiamis. Welcome back to the Recovery After Stroke Podcast. First, a huge thank you to my Patreon supporters. Everyone leaving reviews on Spotify and Apple podcasts, YouTube commenters and those who have picked up my book The Unexpected Way That a Stroke Became The Best Thing That Happened.

Bill Gasiamis 0:17
Your support means the world, and it helps keep me sharing stories like the one you’re about to hear now. Sponsoring today’s episode is Banksia Tech, proud distributors of the Hanson Rehab Glove by Syrebo. This isn’t just another therapy tool. It’s a soft robotic glove designed to help stroke survivors retrain hand movement at home.

Bill Gasiamis 0:39
Each finger is supported to open and close, giving you consistent, structured practice, whether you’re fresh out of rehab or years down the track, if you’d like to see how it works, I’ve left a link in the description. Now my guest today is Wesley Ray, a US Army veteran, father of two, and former power lifter whose life was turned upside down by a massive hemorrhagic stroke.

Bill Gasiamis 1:03
Doctors told him there was no hope, but Wesley refused to quit. What followed was a raw fight through setbacks, abandonment and a relentless recovery. In this episode, you’ll hear how Wesley set short, brutal goals to claw his way forward, and how he discovered experimental treatments like etanercept that open new doors stick around. This is one of the most honest and powerful conversations I’ve ever recorded. Wesley Ray, welcome to the podcast.

Wesley Ray 1:32
Thank you.

Bill Gasiamis 1:34
Thank you for being here, mate. Tell me a little bit about what life was like before stroke.

Wesley’s Powerlifting and Military Background

Wesley Ray 1:41
Before the stroke, I was living like a cheat code, like I was big. I was a power lifter. My wife was a body builder. I had a brand new boat, had multiple cars. I went on vacation every couple weeks. I had a lot of people around me. I was very outgoing and social. And we’re always doing something, it’d be nothing for me to go to go on the boat with 14 or 15 people, and have multiple cars. When we’re going to the beach, were going to Cancun like I was living like a cheat code.

Bill Gasiamis 2:30
Very full on life. Lots to do. So tell me about powerlifting. How long have you been powerlifting?

Wesley Ray 2:42
At that time. I’d been doing it for a long time, as long as I can remember. I waited about 230, 240 at the time, and like I said, my wife was a bodybuilder.

Bill Gasiamis 2:57
And how old were you kids?

Wesley Ray 2:59
They are 10 or 12.

Bill Gasiamis 3:03
And what were you aiming towards back then? What was the idea? I know you were living at large.

Wesley Ray 3:10
I was living, that was it. I was just living. I didn’t really have any, like, big goals, because I had everything I wanted. My kids were good and happy. They did sports. I was strong. I had a good relationship. Me and my wife have been together a long time.

Wesley Ray 3:32
Everything was good I had a good job, better loved and was easy and stress free. Had a good schedule so like I worked nights, or I would type my kids in bed, go to work, come on, get wake them up, get the one bus, take a short nap and and then go to the gym. And they beat the gym until they get off the bus. All I did was take naps. I took a nap at work. I took a nap at home.

Bill Gasiamis 4:03
So you weren’t sleeping.

Wesley Ray 4:06
No, I was just taking naps. Two or three hour nap take a three hour nap and be good to go.

Bill Gasiamis 4:16
They say that everyone should be getting seven to eight hours a night.

Wesley Ray 4:20
No, I never did. I guess if I slept more than because of my military and all that, if I slept more than four hours, I would have dreams and nightmares or whatever. So I get used to sleeping, just taking naps. And it worked for me. I was, it was like a power nap every time.

Bill Gasiamis 4:40
Can I just interrupt you? Are you on your laptop?

Wesley Ray 4:44
Yes, sir.

Bill Gasiamis 4:44
Can you just position your head a little bit further up? Beautiful, perfect. So you also, did you do tours? Did you do tours with the army?

Wesley Ray 5:00
Went to Afghanistan once, a long time ago. I was in the army for one contract, and then I went done that contract, going to Afghanistan, and then came home and got out.

Bill Gasiamis 5:18
Were they combat missions?

Wesley Ray 5:20
Yeah.

Bill Gasiamis 5:21
How long did that last?

Wesley Ray 5:23
I was in Afghanistan for a little over a year.

Bill Gasiamis 5:28
And how old were you then?

Wesley Ray 5:32
21.

Bill Gasiamis 5:34
Okay.

Wesley Ray 5:36
So before head is before I had kids and everything.

Bill Gasiamis 5:40
Yep, understand. And the power lifting, was it just something that you did to release some stress? Was it just to make muscles?

Wesley Ray 5:49
Basically, I just always, I love the gym. I love going to the gym, and I wanted to be the strongest person in every room, so I just, I go to the gym tour. There I was the dead. And I like being strong. I like, I didn’t like CrossFit and like wearing myself out and all that, but I liked lifting heavy.

Bill Gasiamis 6:12
So you were fairly active. You were living large. How was your health? Did you have a sense of what condition body was in even though.

Health and Lifestyle Before the Stroke

Wesley Ray 6:22
I feel like I was good, like, I was big and strong, I was never sick at that time, I took a lot of steroids and some the VA Give me medicine for my blood pressure, and I just kind of throw it in the cabinet, never opened it or anything, and my blood pressure was really high, and I’d been on storage a really long time, and I never took the medicine so but I felt fun like I never I didn’t have injuries, I didn’t have a cord. I didn’t have I was never sick.

Bill Gasiamis 7:07
And how did you find out about the high blood pressure?

Wesley Ray 7:10
Um, because I was a truck driver, so I had a CDL, so I had to go do, like, physicals and stuff all the time, and anytime I ever went to the doctor for a medicine refill or CDL qualification, whatever they would have to take my blood pressure, and it was always high, always to get qualified, like they would have to turn off the lights, I would have to lay down and They shut my eyes, and they are barely qualified.

Bill Gasiamis 7:42
Wow, and you had no sense of that blood high blood pressure causing any headaches or any other problems.

Wesley Ray 7:49
I had no symptoms of anything.

Bill Gasiamis 7:53
I just recently got diagnosed with high blood pressure, and I get headaches. So as soon as my blood pressure is high, I know exactly that is high.

Wesley Ray 8:02
I never got symptoms of anything. The at home therapist came to the house, and a couple, several times they came to the house after they struck and, like, check my blood, blood pressure, and they’re like, like, we need to climb the ambulance right now. Like, wow, it’s 100 over 100 it’s bad. I was like, I feel fine.

Bill Gasiamis 8:27
Wow, man. So what about on the day of the stroke? Was it a normal day? Everything go well? Did you notice?

Wesley Ray 8:34
So it was when I say Patrick’s Day was much of 2024 so it’s the Saint Patrick Patrick’s day and we had friends coming in town and staying with us to go to our Saint Patrick’s Day party that night. So where people at the house, and I woke up early to go to the barbershop, to get cleaned up for the party and to go to the gym before the party.

Wesley Ray 9:03
And I woke up and did my usual stuff, and I was downstairs, and I just didn’t feel like something felt off. And my daughter, my, my older daughter, my, my 12 year old, she happened to be be the only one awake, and so she came downstairs. I was and I was talking to her, she’s, like, something alright. So she went, got me some, like, cheese and crackers, Tylenol and peanut butter crackers and stuff.

The Stroke and Initial Hospitalization

Wesley Ray 9:33
And she, she’s the starter of, like, I needed to eat. And so she, like, sat with me and fed me those and then some master got me to the bathroom, and I was in the bathroom floor, and she went upstairs, like, because those people sleep, she went upstairs got her mom. It was like, hey, something’s wrong with dad. I need you. Took him downstairs right now.

Wesley Ray 10:00
Her mom came downstairs and started trying to talk to me, and I didn’t know where I was or anything. I was like, which bathroom in my mind and my upstairs and downstairs and all of that. She was like, okay, something invited and somehow they got me to the truck and they took me to the hospital. In the hospital, like on the way to the hospital, my left side went numb, like, like a dentist, like, numbing my tooth.

Wesley Ray 10:28
Like it was instant. Like, now I got really scared. Then we get to the hospital, and I felt fine. They put me an ambulance took me to a different hospital, but I felt fun. Everything felt fun. And they kept me overnight, and I was talking, I texted my boss and my friends. I was like, Yeah, I’m in the hospital. And then this doctor came in, and they did the contrast scan and all of that, and he was talking to me, and he was like, Okay, this is he was like, you had a TIA mini stroke.

Wesley Ray 11:09
And there’s a spot that we’re kind of worried about, but not sure if the nurses just messed up their contrast, or it’s a rough spot, or whatever he’s Like, but we’re going to look again in six weeks. He’s like, but right now, you’re good to go. And they discharged me and all that. And I called my friends is like, Hey, I’m still coming to the party tonight. I will see our men. They’re like, Dude, you just had a stroke, like you’re in the hospital. I was like, I feel fine.

Bill Gasiamis 11:38
Now let’s talk about something practical. If you’ve ever felt stuck because your hand just won’t do what you want, weak, stiff or curling tight, the Hanson rehab glove by Syrebo might be the solution. Distributed by Banksia Tech. It’s built to give stroke survivors more opportunities to retrain hand function at home, the glove uses soft robotics to guide each finger through exercises, helping to rebuild those brain, hand connections day after day.

Bill Gasiamis 12:06
And the best part, you don’t have to wait for your next therapy session. You can put in the work on your own schedule. Check the link in the description to learn more. All right, back to Wesley in the next part of our conversation, you’ll hear what happened when he decided to try atanercept, and how he changed the way he thought about recovery.

Wesley Ray 12:23
They discharged me, I’m good to go. And I caught somebody else, and I was on the phone with them, talking joking around. My wife is next to me. And I was like, Okay, I’ll talk to you later. And I hung up, and I put the phone in my pocket. They looked at her, and I was, like, I heard this loud ringing sound, and like, everything got, like, weird. I couldn’t tell, like, the one felt like it was sideways and spinning.

Wesley Ray 12:50
And I looked at her, it’s like, something I write. And then I fell back in bed, and I don’t remember a lot over the next couple weeks, or or whatever. Apparently, that’s when they had the major stroke, major stroke, and they said it was a hemorrhagic stroke.

Challenges in Rehabilitation and Family Dynamics

Wesley Ray 13:11
So I had the TIA, the the mini stroke. They did discharge me. I had the major, major struck now is in ICU for a while, and they they told my wife, the kids, that didn’t think I’d make it, and all of that the doctors have since then, and we’ll get into it, the doctors have left me no hope at all, and they keep coming with this bad like prognosis and all that, they’ve let me know hope.

Bill Gasiamis 13:44
So they wrote you off.

Wesley Ray 13:47
And like, I don’t remember a lot, I got told stories, and I saw a video where I was sedated and handcuffed to the bed because they said anytime was awake and my wife and kids would leave I would hallucinate and get mad, angry, breaking stuff, and bending stuff and ripping out chords and pickle ends and all that. And so they kept having to sedate me and handcuff me to the bed. And so I saw a video of my daughter like playing in the hospital room, and I was behind her, knocked out, handcuffed to the bed, and I don’t remember, none of that.

Bill Gasiamis 14:29
Wow, man, you would have been a handful, especially at your size.

Wesley Ray 14:36
I was huge. And that became a problem, because a couple weeks later, one of the nurses tried to, like, get me to the bathroom, and she dropped me. And so from that point forward, I would push the Help button or whatever, and they’d be like, four or five nurses outside. I’d be like, hey, like, look, we can’t pick you up like well why don’t you get somebody that can. I was like, I need help.

Bill Gasiamis 15:04
I got dropped after surgery. I came out of surgery, I don’t know, within about, maybe within about the first three, four hours, something like that. You know, you come out of recovery. They wake you up, they get you into the the high dependency ward. They’re looking after you, but they want you to go to the toilet. So they get you up.

Bill Gasiamis 15:25
And I couldn’t feel my left side at all, and see I still get really I got out of bed. They got me out of bed on my left side. I put my left leg down the nurse who was trying to hold me. She was very petite, about five foot, something high, you know, not very tall at all. I’m, I’m almost six foot, not, not quite, but kind of there, and probably double her weight. And she said, just put your hand around me, and I’ll help you get to the the toilet.

Bill Gasiamis 15:57
And I put my hand around her, and then I just felt straight on my it was shock, horror. I freaked out. I was on the ground. Everyone rushed. They got me back up into the bed, and they realized, Oh, this guy can’t walk.

Wesley Ray 16:12
See, I’ve only fallen a couple of times. There was that time where the nurse dropped me, and then after that, we went to the beach once. And my, my wife, is trying to guide me on the beach. So I was thinking a couple steps with her hands, and my leg just disappeared in the sand, like the sand just ate my leg, and I just fell over it. It was soft, yeah, so soft. It didn’t hurt.

Wesley Ray 16:37
But I was gonna say that I couldn’t get up, and they weren’t big enough to give me up. So these guys walking by were like, do you want to help? Yes please. And then I was at one fast time. I can’t see left, so I started, I was starting off the bench to stand up or to leave, and I just kept saying, all the way to the floor.

Bill Gasiamis 17:03
So are you able to get on your feet? How does that work?

Wesley Ray 17:08
Yeah, I’ve came a long way, and the attendance have helped a lot. So now I can cut and I’m walking with a cane now, okay, um, it’s ugly, but I can do it. I’ve kind of, in fact, you can see one right behind me. Oh yes, I had a big Walker and went down to, like a Hemi Walker, yep, and then went down for like a whole letter Walker. And now for the last couple weeks, I’ve had a cane.

Bill Gasiamis 17:40
yeah, so you know when you woke up, Wes, what was that like to wake up in hospital, realize what was wrong and how bad things were. How did you?

Wesley Ray 17:51
I remember going to the hospital? Like, I remember all of that so, like, I would wake up and I knew where I was and what happened and all that. Um, but then people tell me stories. I’m like, I don’t remember, none, none of that. Like, they’re like, you picked up the machine and slump it down and started yelling and cussing at it, saying it was a person. I was like, I don’t know.

Bill Gasiamis 18:21
How long did you end up in rehab for?

Wesley’s Determination and Support System

Wesley Ray 18:24
So the first time moved to the hospital, I went, it’s kind of a funny story, but so I went to the hospital, and they took me to an ambulance to another hospital, and they ended up being there for a month, and then they, they kind of sent me home, and I couldn’t do anything, like I couldn’t use the bathroom, I couldn’t feed myself, nothing, so they sent me home.

Wesley Ray 18:55
And my wife, is kind of freaking out, like she didn’t know what to do. No, my, and there happened to be this Stroke Center in Tampa, Florida for the VA. And this right, like, rated, like, the number one stroke center in America. And so we’re trying really hard to get me into that, but the VA kept giving me the runaround and like, your duck, just for this out.

Wesley Ray 19:23
And the ducks are like, I don’t fill that out. And, they’re like, Okay, we’ll look again next week. And, we’d like argue with them. My wife is I can’t, and she’s like, this is a time sensitive thing. And so, like, we followed them for several weeks and then went to the VA for appointment to try and go to the hospital at the stroke center. It’s called source. It was really nice.

Wesley Ray 19:58
And so we got the. Like, Oh, we you have to have an appointment for this, but we can get you in today after two o’clock. And that was, like, four hours away. And I was like, whatever, we’ll wait. Like, and so what the hospital just like trying to cut time.

Wesley Ray 20:17
And we rolled up into a the coffee shop at the hospital, and this guy came on the corner neck ability see him, because I couldn’t see good and so he came up was like, do you do recognize me? I was like, Yeah, a little bit. And it happened to be a guy that I was deployed with in Afghanistan, that I used to live with, um, and he was like, what happened? And my wife told him, because I couldn’t really talk.

Wesley Ray 20:44
And my wife told him, she’s like, we’re trying so hard to get him in this stroke center, but we’ll get in the runway. It’s been several weeks now. And he was like, let me see what I can do. Because, like, I worked at VA. I’ve worked here for like, 20 years, let me see what I can do. And that was, like, a Friday or something.

Wesley Ray 21:06
And the following Wednesday, I was checking in and tip up at the hospital down there to say that was in the hospital for a little over four months. Wow, I got to the hospital. And like they it’s like two of the weeks in, the doctor came in and they did another scan and all that. And like I said at this time, I could be so I couldn’t feed myself.

Wesley Ray 21:35
So I had three goals when we got to the hospital. It was, I want to do stairs, because my bedroom is upstairs and hadn’t been there in a long time. I wanted to be able to feed myself, and I wanted to be able to go to the bathroom. Those are my three goals when I got to that hospital. And so the doctor came, in short, I’ve been there about a week, and they just done a scan and all that.

Wesley Ray 22:02
And the doctor came in with a psychologist and all that was like, okay, like, it’s just something to scan. And she had my wife on video call, and she’s like, Hey, like, you want recovery, you want improve, like, what? And she’s like, I’m sorry to tell you this, and the Doc, and she told me, she’s like, you won’t get better. Like, this is a bad stroke, and what it impacted you won’t improve. And, like I said, I had a lot of disabilities at that time. And so she left, and the psychologist was like, How do you feel? Like, that’s bad news.

Wesley Ray 22:42
How are you taking it? I was like, I’m fine. Like, I have my three goals. I know I can get better than accomplishless. But other people need that hope, like hope is powerful, powerful, and other people need that hope. So it wasn’t for me. Y’all upset other people. And couple days later, I can’t remember, maybe that night, my wife sent me a text message. We’d been together 22 years, she sent me a text message that was like, Hey, I can’t be a caregiver.

Wesley Ray 23:18
Things with your hard and heavy and I want fun and easy. I can’t do this. I want to divorce. Wow. I was like, well, and that’s what I meant by the power of hope.

Bill Gasiamis 23:32
Wow, man, so that’s crazy. Did you see you didn’t see that coming at all?

Wesley Ray 23:38
No, not at all. Like, we’ve been together a long time, so the hospital was like, the doctor was like, there’s no point in you being here, like we’re going to start looking at sending you home, like there’s no point in you being here to rehab. And the pilgrim was called Source. There’s like, stroke, optimal, act optimal, something, rehab center, something, it’s really nice place.

Bill Gasiamis 24:13
Dude, this is making me mad. I’m listening to what you’re saying. It’s making me angry. The part where they tell you there’s no hope. You shouldn’t even be here.

Wesley Ray 24:22
And they’ve done that a couple of times. They did that, like, last month, like, so, so they’re trying to send me home. They’re like, there’s no point in you being here. And one of the physical therapists I can fell in love with, like, I’d see her twice a day, and like, she’d come do extra time with me, and we spent a lot of time together for several months.

Wesley Ray 24:55
And then she got pregnant and had to leave. But like, she was, I told her, I was like, I don’t want to go home. I think I can get better. And so she, like, she put her foot down and would not let me go home. And like, did these tests, and I kept getting better on the test. And then they showed the doctor, know, like, no, must I send him home? Like he’s doing good. He’s getting better. And my numbers were, they were, like, getting a lot better. So me ended up being there that was like, three or four weeks in that ended up being there three or four or four months after that.

Bill Gasiamis 25:41
I want to try understand your mindset, right? So a you’re somebody who’s been deployed, you’ve seen action, You’re a big guy, you’re a tough guy, you go to the gym, you sleep three or four hours per little shift. You’re raising a family. You’ve got kids. You’re partying hard.

Wesley Ray 26:04
I got two girls. I’m a great girl, Dad, because I didn’t hunt, I don’t fish, but I like hugs and kisses. I love being a girl Dad.

Bill Gasiamis 26:15
You’ve got everything going for you. You have a stroke, everything’s taken away, and then people are not interested in helping you, and telling you, you shouldn’t even be here, and then your wife leaves you. How do you develop the mindset to push through all of the drama and all of the problems that you’re faced with in such a short amount of time.

Wesley’s Fight: Therapy, Recovery, and Facing Divorce Alone

Wesley Ray 26:43
Basically, I was just trying to stay busy and get to bed and wake up the next day and just trying to win the day. So I would go, like, I would volunteer for extra, extra physical therapy. So like, I would go in the morning, and they would come get me a lunch and all of that. And I love the physical therapy, but I’ve always loved it because I like the gym and all that.

Wesley Ray 27:09
Yes. So I’ve go to all these therapies, like occupational therapy, speech therapy, physical therapy, all these therapies, vision therapy, and that hospital had their direct recreational therapy, all that music therapy, so I was pretty busy to what they did. So I go to all these therapies for 6, 7, 8, hours, and then come back to my hospital room and look at my phone, and it’s like, my wife telling me that she can’t do this. She wants a divorce, and I’m at the hospital all alone, and, like, it’s sucked. So I go work as hard as I could, come back and, like, look at my phone, and it just crushed me.

Bill Gasiamis 28:01
Yeah, and did you guys have previous any challenges, any marital problems, anything like that that you’re aware of?

Wesley Ray 28:09
No.

Bill Gasiamis 28:10
Yeah, wow, man, look at stroke is really hard. A lot of people who care for people who had a stroke can’t do it, and it’s it’s not something that we can describe or understand or explain. You would say, I would never do that to her. You know, all that kind of stuff we would never know. I know it’s a difficult thing to hear and go through, but you don’t know how you would respond to something that you’ve never been through before.

Bill Gasiamis 28:36
And I’m not saying because I’m not saying that, that I’m 100% certain that I would hang around either, like, I hate saying that. I it even bothers me that it comes out of my mouth, but there’s got to be a part in everybody that just wants to check out and go. Now, this is too hard. I can’t do this. And I think it’s that emotion.

Wesley Ray 28:57
I’m different, I guess. But yeah, I would see it as a challenge, like, we’re going to get through this. Yeah, the challenge is this, the goal is this. We’re going to beat this.

Bill Gasiamis 29:07
But Emotionally, I think that some people, emotionally can’t do that hard work because they must have other emotional issues.

Wesley Ray 29:14
That’s why I blame other issues. They’ve they’ve left no hope, yeah, and like, so at first she’s getting told I won’t make it, and then she getting told I won’t recover, and all that. And then, like I said, they did it again a month ago.

Bill Gasiamis 29:32
I don’t blame you for blaming the doctors, because that’s a disgusting thing to say to anybody. I just don’t understand. Well, I don’t know why.

Wesley Ray 29:41
They would explain the doctors a little bit her living was, of course, that was going to happen, I guess.

Bill Gasiamis 29:47
like at some stage.

Wesley Ray 29:50
Like the priorities now are way different, like after, after this, or the experiences taught me, like, I. Because I was gone, almost died. I was by myself a long time and all that. I just want my kids. I don’t want to be alone. I want my kids all the time, like it’s unhealthy. How much I want need them here, yeah, and with her, she’s experienced something else she had to be she’s going through something else.

Wesley Ray 30:24
I was alone. She had to be there for the kids. She had to take care of everything. And so now she wants to, like, be single and fun and party and all of that. My property is the family, and the kids, hers is something else, but they still cause two different experiences.

Bill Gasiamis 30:47
And you know what it does to caregivers, it also does the other thing it does the life’s short. I’ve probably got things I want to do. What if this happens to me? And then what am I going to do then?

Wesley Ray 30:58
Very much like one of the really bad conversations that we had, like it was okay between us, but I messed up at the hospital being alone, and I googled the life expectancy after the stroke for the type I had, and all of that there was, like 24% or 33% or, I think it was 24 it’s 24% of people survive. Of those 24% 33% make it to one year. I was like this, such I said that that looked at that.

Bill Gasiamis 31:37
Yeah, I agree. I agree. Hemorrhagic streak is such a shit stroke to have, man, I know it does cause a lot more death in hemorrhagic stroke than in ischemic stroke. And yeah, I discovered those stats a few years, quite a few years later. So I’m very thankful, very grateful for being here.

Wesley Ray 31:57
I was in the hospital looking at that like, Why did I look at this? Yeah, why did I look this up? Like, this does not help at all.

Bill Gasiamis 32:08
So you had a couple of things go your way. One was that your former army buddy who came and helped out. So that was.

Wesley Ray 32:18
Just happened to see a metric officer, yeah, didn’t even know he worked there, but, but he was able, like I said, Whatever he did, I was in the hospital four or five days later.

Bill Gasiamis 32:30
Yeah, blessing. That’s a blessing and a half. Yeah. And then what about your military training? Do you think that had a lot to do with the way you’ve recovered, bounce back approach this.

Wesley Ray 32:45
I don’t know. Maybe I don’t really look at it like that. So for me, it’s just I had these goals. I know I can do it like the it was either try to win the day and go to bed and do it again the next day and look, look for something to look forward to, like going home seeing my kids, whatever like right now, my goal is want to be able to do 20 Push Ups by the kids fall back. And I tried yesterday I could do 11. Wow. This is a big difference. Kiernan used to do like 150 but because that’s big, yeah, I went from benching mid force to like, 10 pounds on their machine. So it’s a big difference.

Bill Gasiamis 33:43
That’s where you started all those years ago. Yeah, wow, man. And then you met this other amazing person in hospital who went.

Wesley Ray 33:56
They were about to send me home at one point, and they’ll like, we want you to stay another four weeks. And she’s like, if I think I can have you, like, almost walking in that four weeks, wow. It’s like, okay, I’ll say, just because you and she, she got pregnant and left and wouldn’t have the baby, and the next opportunity I had to go home because she wasn’t there anymore, I took it and went home.

Bill Gasiamis 34:29
Yep, fair enough.

Wesley Ray 34:31
They were trying to get me to stay at that point, because you’re doing so good, like, want you to stay. And they, they’re like, a long term program they’re going to put me in and I was like, No, I want to go home like I miss my kids. I don’t have a wife anymore. I guess I want to go home. I want to be in my bed, like in my house, my life, all of that.

Bill Gasiamis 34:55
Did you have any parting words for the doctors who said that there’s no hope for you? Did you. Did you find them and tell them that.

Wesley’s Determination: Defying the Odds Through Rehab and Resilience

Wesley Ray 35:02
They were willing, and so I was talking to the doctor, and they were like, tell me no. And I was like, Look, I’m doing all I can to get better. Like I’m if I don’t have the kids and I don’t have physical therapy, I’m walking using the big Walker, like there’s a gym half a mile away. I’m walking that 25 minutes to the gym just just to be there.

Wesley Ray 36:08
And the doctor was like, Well, that’s good that you’re going to the gym and all of that, but you need to understand you’re wasting your time. Your brain is not using the muscle pathways to build muscle anymore. She’s like, so you’re going to the gym is good and great, but, like, it’s not helping. I was like, would you even say that to me? Like, what? What is that even matter? It’s good in my head.

Bill Gasiamis 36:38
It’s a load of bullshit. It helps a lot, even if you’re not making muscle, because it’s not about the muscle, it’s still firing neurons all over the place. It’s connecting your body to your brain, your legs, everything.

Wesley Ray 36:50
Exactly. And I like being there. It’s good for my head. It’s good for my mental. It passes the time. So I go to the gym, I come home and the kids are back from school, yeah, or if, if it’s because we do week on, week off. Now, if it’s the week that they’re here, okay, I go to the gym when I come back, that day is gone. All I have to do is go to sleep and do it a couple more times, and the kids are back like.

Bill Gasiamis 37:19
Physical therapy is so important.

Wesley Ray 37:22
That same mindset. She’s like, it’s not helping you. You’re wasting your time with that mindset. Why am I even going to physical therapy? Like, yeah, obviously, I’ve been going, and I’ve been I’ve been doing extra, and I’m it’s helping, it’s working, and you’re telling me it’s not gonna help. It’s not gonna work. I don’t know.

Bill Gasiamis 37:43
Did these guys impact your mental health? Like, did they make you feel really down, or anything like that.

Wesley Ray 37:49
The doctors didn’t okay. The doctors would say that. And I’m like, You’re full of like, I don’t believe you. I know I’m getting better. I can feel it. I can see it, I can tell by people looking at me more important, like I said, it wastes the day. I’m winning the day. Yeah, I love them. So the doctors didn’t really bother me. They bothered the people around me that needed to hear something positive, but they didn’t really bother me.

Bill Gasiamis 38:21
Yeah, that’s the thing. You know, the people around you, I found myself in a similar situation where a lot of my job when I was recovering was to do the work so that everyone who came to visit me and saw me could see improvement and recovery and they could be okay.

Wesley Ray 38:38
Exactly if they weren’t in the barbershop a couple days ago. And so I was kind of famous at the barber shop, before the barbershop, before this truck. They all knew me from a certain event and and so they saw when I was really big, and they saw me coming in wheelchair, and then they saw me come in, and they up Walker. Then they saw me come in with the other Walker. And so couple days ago, Thursday, they will, they saw me come in with just the cannon. The guys like, Dude, this is crazy. Yeah. And like, those compliments kept me going, keep me going.

Wesley Ray 39:24
The good to you. It’s good to hear when other people notice you’re doing something, yeah. Like I took my took my daughter. We I live in a good area where everything is close by and we can walk to a lot of places. So this art studio, so me and my daughter walked to the art studio. She could paint and do all that, and walked in the art studio, and the lady was like “You came in here in February with a big ass Walker. And like, now looking at you like you came. Long way I can accept the liquidity you’re going to the gym, then you’re using a cane, like you’re not shaky”

Wesley Ray 40:09
And then mentally, especially the gym part, because I was like, the last the last thing hurt, but the gym was, it’s not going to help. So her saying she could tell I’m going to the gym without me saying anything. I was like, okay, good. It is okay.

Bill Gasiamis 40:26
Your instincts are guiding you really well.

Wesley Ray 40:30
The other alternative is to stop it’s too quick.

Bill Gasiamis 40:35
And then to just curl up in a ball and go into the corner and then just end it all. Exactly, yeah, no point.

Family Fuel: Kids, Therapy, and Small Wins

Wesley Ray 40:43
And my kids, my kids need, need me as much as I need them so. And they’ve been very, very helpful. Yeah, they got to, like, in the first hospital, they got to, like, come to a therapist with me. Is it my oldest daughter wants to be an occupational therapist now. And she thought that was, like, great. She’s been to physical therapy with me here a couple times, and she loves it. Like, not, not so long ago that they took my walker and put it in the kitchen. And they’re like, you can, you can get to the kitchen without it. I was like, No, I can’t, like, give me the walker, stop playing.

Wesley Ray 41:31
Well, I know, seriously, get the walker and what. She’s like, hey, I want to see you push the basket without the worker. And I was like, you know, I can’t do that. She’s like, we’ll go slow. If you fall, we’ll both fall, we’ll both get hurt, but I’ll do my best, right? And I was able to push the quarter one target. Wow, man. How old is this kid? What led me to the one letter worker. Because I was like, okay, I can do this. How old is this kid? She’s 12. That’s amazing. They’re 10 or 12 in the 12 year old, it pushes me a lot. It helps me a lot. The 10 year old is very sweet.

Bill Gasiamis 42:19
Yeah, that’s good, too. That’s amazing, man. So you know, a little earlier, you said that you asked for help. You needed help. What? What kind of help did you need that you asked for?

Wesley Ray 42:32
Well, at invested these times for different things, but at that time I was trying to get, get them to give me some sort of a testosterone replacement therapy, because before the stroke, obviously I took steroids, so my numbers were super high, and then I had this stroke, and they cut me off court. They should have not complaining, yeah. But they cut me off cold, and so that kind of shocked my system into, like, now recovering and a lot of things going with testosterone, other than the muscle, like, it gives you energy and improves your mood. It makes you not get sick.

Wesley Ray 43:13
All of that, it makes, makes you more confident. And all like I wanted the testosterone for, for more than mental stuff. Like, I wanted to be confident. I wanted to feel better, like, so I was like, please. And they, they tested my testosterone in Tampa, and it was like, so before this truck, it was like, over 3000 it was high through the roof. I took a lot of storage suicide seven months or whatever, after this drug, my testosterone level was 108, which is super low.

Bill Gasiamis 43:54
Not healthy low for a man.

Wesley Ray 43:57
And especially when you’re trying to recover and improve and that you have, like, this number, whatever, and that directly affects improving the recovery. Yep. So I was like, hey, look, I’m not trying to, like, take steroids and burn muscle and all that. I’m just trying to, like, improve my head. Really, like, improve my confidence.

Bill Gasiamis 44:23
Yeah, improve my mood, yeah, it probably would have been appropriate in your situation, simply because the your body is so used to receiving testosterone, it doesn’t make as much testosterone as it may have if you hadn’t been taken over.

Wesley Ray 44:40
Trying to get back up to, like, low normal, low normal. Like, yeah, they said no. Like, no. Like, when I didn’t give the testosterone to build muscle, it’s like, I’m not trying to build muscle. Like, I was like, I’m I’m going to the gym. Like this. Now we’re in trying to. Food, yeah, rehab. They’re like, Oh, it’s good to go into the gym, but yeah, it would help.

Bill Gasiamis 45:06
Yeah, fair enough. And were you, how many years were you on testosterone? And were you cycling through? Did you have down times?

Wesley Ray 45:15
I cycled a few times, but I was not testosterone a long time. I think at that time, it had been well over a year, maybe two years, since I came off of it. But I loved it. I was addicted to it.

Bill Gasiamis 45:34
Made you feel invincible, tough, strong.

Wesley Ray 45:38
It made me just a better person, because I was so strong and so confident and so happy and all that all the time, like people are in a bad mood, they’re usually sick or tired or hungry. That’s so strong made me eat better anymore. So it’s never hungry. It made my sleep better, and it gave me more energy, so it never tired, and they helped my immune system, so it’s never sick. So I I was in a good mood all the time.

Bill Gasiamis 46:11
Yeah, understand. Okay, wow, so you have a stroke. Everything goes to ship. People that should be saying, everything will be okay. We’ll offer you some hope. We’re not offering you hope. Your wife leaves you your children. Step up, your 12 year old, steps up, your nurse, steps up, your buddy from the army. Days you hear you bump into steps up.

Wesley Ray 46:42
And I’ve never talked to him again. I don’t have his number or anything because I couldn’t use the phone, I couldn’t text or talk or whatever, like, I had to win on everything. So I never talked to him again. My wife talked to him. He got us in the hospital, and I’ve never talked to him again.

Bill Gasiamis 47:00
Wow. That’s just amazing. Did it even happen? Is it just an imagination thing? What is that? How is that?

Wesley Ray 47:09
I saw him, I remember before I checked in, my wife sent my sent him my thank you message. It was like, hey, we’ll check in. Thank you so much. And like she’s talking to him, but I wasn’t.

Bill Gasiamis 47:23
Wow, I love it. And then at some point you hear about or you learn about etanercept.

Wesley Ray 47:31
So, obviously, I was in the hospital on Tampa a long time by myself. So I just look at things and Google things like life expectancy. And so I started watching all these videos, and that’s why I found your podcast and all that, and I found Paris final eternal set. And so it’s like, okay, like my goals when they get back, or I want to get the eternal set, and then I want to get some stem cells, and then I want to buy a Tesla, because I can’t drive. So I went to buy, I love it. I love it. I was like, those are my goals. I want to get home.

Wesley Ray 48:14
So I got home from the hospital, and that’s what I did, so I get home in September, I saved up, or the end of September, I sent up as much money as I could. Obviously, there was like I had to move houses and vehicles. Could repossess and all that because of my wife leaving and all that and so. But I sent those money. So in January, I went to buckletown for the press panel, a tenor set, and got two doses down there. And it was great. It helped a lot.

Wesley Ray 48:54
And we can talk about that, yeah. And then at the right after Fourth of July, I got this stem cells. I haven’t figured anything from them yet, but they said it takes, takes a while. So I got this stem cells July 7, and then I bothered about a Tesla two weeks or two, or two weeks ago.

Bill Gasiamis 49:17
Okay, so you went to Boca Raton. You? You met the team. You met Dr tobinick. What are they like? How are they?

Vision Restored, Hope Renewed

Wesley Ray 49:27
So you can go Dr. Tobernik was nurse. Obviously, everyone picks up Dr. Tobernik, so I picked the nurse just to get in sooner. And so we went there. My mom drove me down there. Obviously it cost, what it cost, which is not unreasonable. It’s not like a you have to save up for it. It’s like, yeah, 8000 a shot. At the time. It was more than 8000 our shot at the time. And so I got down there, and it’s kind of like an assembly line, but so we showed up, and there’s this couple, and so we sat there when the wedding room, and there’s this couple, and they’re from Sweden.

Wesley Ray 50:21
And they’re like, this is a fourth, fourth shot. They’re like, and they started telling us about their shots. And, like, before the first shot he can walk to he was in a wheelchair. So we came and took one shot and the second then we came back. And we stayed for a month because of him, Sweden. So like, we stayed for a month and got this second and third, and now your letter will hear during the fourth. And like, obviously the guy started issues. But, like, he got up, he walked in, took this shot.

Wesley Ray 50:59
And so that was, like a big confidence boost. Like, okay, they’ve had four because for a long time, like, watching your podcast and all that, and watching videos and reading reviews and comments and all of that, it’s always, you always see the first dose. Like, if you watch videos, it’s like he got his first dose every Tennyson, and then like, you people and like, so the second and third does my okay. What can like? Maybe I should just get one. I’m not seeing anybody like getting anything from the second and third one.

Wesley Ray 51:38
Nobody really talks about the second and third one, the improvements come off the first one, mainly, so almost like, it’s a lot of money. I was like, I almost wanted to save the money and only get one shot. And then I was like, No, I will always think about, like, what would happen if I got the second one. And so we went down there and they did all this testing, like, make you draw, draw something, make you do math, look at numbers. And my vision and my field cut were really bad at that time, like I kept walking to the girl’s bathroom because my brain would black out the W and the O.

Wesley Ray 52:23
So all, all I would see is men or not see the left of anything like, like, if I’m watching in a wood show and two people came, came up to the bottom, I’d only see the person on the nasty person on the left. If I tried to read a block off, like the first few numbers or first few letters or whatever, like, it was really bad. My my vision was, is the left side of both my eyes so all I could see. I had a right blue fuel kind of but I could not see left at all. I could basically only see sugar head and they didn’t. It was like, there was no, like, black spot, or didn’t know, blur.

Wesley Ray 53:08
There was nothing telling me to, like, scan and look, I wish there was, because then I would know, like, oh, this the end. No, it was just like, it looked good to me. So after the first shot, so they gave me the first shot and did the testing. And like, I could barely hold the band mom, because the film feeling on my left side is is was gone at the time, and my right side shook. So it’s kind of like it’s bad the way, either I can’t feel the left and I can’t see the left to know what it’s doing or what it is like, if you tried to shake my hand, I wouldn’t be able to see your hand, but you have to look at your hand.

Wesley Ray 53:56
I had no peripheral vision from that side. So they give me the shot. Well, they had me do all the tests, and I couldn’t. I could barely hold the pen, like it was just like, Mark, Mark, Mark. Like, terrible. And mentally I was fine, like I could read November the math, and I could pass all the testing at the hospitals and all of that, like my memory and like smarts was still there, but so they give me the first shot, and I couldn’t really, of course, like anybody I’m there hoping to walk again. That’s what I’m there for, hoping to be able to walk.

Wesley Ray 54:41
So they give me the first shot, and I sat up, and they come over to give me orange orange juice. And I reached out. Got to go and choose one with one hand and drink it. Where it was taking me two hands to drink anything, because I shook so much so like I couldn’t feel. The left so I’d hold the things in my right hand, but my right hand would shake too much, so I had to hold it with my left hand to keep it from shaking. It’s just, it’s like this whole process. So they came up and they gave me the one. She set me up, and I drink it with one hand.

Wesley Ray 55:19
And then it started talking, and the nurse looked at my mom, and my mom looked at the nurse, and they were like, your voice is way better now. Like, we can understand what you’re saying, and I can, I can’t really hear myself, like, I know if I mess up my word, but like, I don’t have volume control. So I was like, Okay, well, that’s good, like, so that told me that, like, they’re talking with, like, your voice got a lot better. And then my mom walked behind me to, like, to a different table and skim up on my left side. I was like, I could, I could kind of see you.

Breakthrough Dose

Wesley Ray 56:01
It’s just like, where and like, so like, we’ve kind of like, tested how far I could see her, and I was like, I can kind of see you. Mm, hmm. And so my vision got a lot better. I can now read and see the like, the bathroom signs and stuff like that. I don’t block off the front, front letters anymore of the words or the numbers or whatever. I still don’t have a good free fuel on that side, but my vision came in a lot, and my voice changed. So honestly, I was kind of disappointed, though, because as I left, and my mom was like, Oh, that’s great. Like, you can see better, you can talk better, all of that.

Wesley Ray 56:51
And I was like, Yeah, but I was hoping for the like, be more physical, like, be able to walk and not shake as much. And I want, I wanted to see the physical stuff. Like, seeing and talking is cool, but like, in my heart, I wanted to get better that way. Like, yeah, because there’s a lot of stuff. Like, I was like, I would never get to do that now, like, I’m a girl, girl that I was like, I would never get to walk my kids down the get to order, baby, because I can’t use my left hand.

Bill Gasiamis 57:28
You started to get a little bit negative, yeah.

Wesley Ray 57:32
And so I was like, Well, it’s kind of sucks. And I was disappointed, really. And we stayed in Bogota for like, a week, because you had to have a week on the first shot to the second shot. So we just stayed then, then went to Key West and had a little vacation and all that. And I went back to the second shot. So before the first shot, they tested my my hand grip, and it was bad. On my left hand, it was like 8.2 something. So they tested it again before the second shot, and it was like 38 point something. Like it, it tripled what it was. And like it, got it a lot better.

Wesley Ray 58:19
And so then they gave me the second shot, and they took me upside down and all that. And I, I got up, and I was like. I was like, I don’t feel anything. And the nurse was like, see if take a couple laps on the room, like with the with the can or all that. It’s a It’s funny, there’s, you’ve seen the videos. The nurses aren’t very big. So like, I’m like, if I fall this the way, y’all are going to catch me. Like, especially doing what y’all are doing. Like, no, like, Y’all are there for video purposes. That’s it. I was making a lap around the room, and then I kind of just handed there’s a big game.

Wesley Ray 59:08
It’s like a big card game. I just handed it to the nurse, and they walked around the room with nothing, with nothing. And I never done that before. Wow. And my mom is recording, and she like, Oh my God. Like, this is crazy. And I think I sent you the video, um, and so I was like, I felt like it to me. I felt like I was Bambi, like in my head, like feeling it, nothing felt stable. I felt like Bambi, like everyone could see me struggling. And then she showed me the video, video, and I was like, I didn’t look bad at all. Like, I look like a normal person just walking around.

Wesley Ray 59:53
It was a big, big shot for me, because, like, is it? I felt like, Baby, like everyone was going to notice. And see and make a big deal and like, I didn’t look good, but so walked around the room. And so we’ve came, I’ve came home since then, and it just helped a lot. And I can it feels like it helped my I don’t. And my daughter said this, she’s, like, a massive it helped as much as it gave you confidence and like.

Wesley Ray 1:00:28
So now you can just, like, stand up and walk around and, like, he been through this now, like, so now I can, pretty much, I don’t, like, in my apartment, I don’t use a can or anything. I can walk around without it in public because of the ground.

Bill Gasiamis 1:00:48
Different surfaces.

Wesley Ray 1:00:50
That mess with me a lot. So, like, I don’t have the confidence to go out like that, okay, because declines definitely bothered me.

Bill Gasiamis 1:00:59
So it caused the it caused the physical improvement, but also a a personal kind of confidence improve all as well. So you have the combined improvement there, and that’s good, because that means you can try something you haven’t tried before, and then you can rehabilitate that thing that you’ve been afraid to rehabilitate.

Wesley Ray 1:01:22
Well and before the before the shot like my physical therapist, my opposition therapist, took a video of me doing all these exercises, and then when I get back, she redid the mulligan video and made it a side by side, showing like before 10, it turns it after 10, Recep and they looked way better on the second one, like it wasn’t so jerky and wasn’t so shaky.

Bill Gasiamis 1:01:51
When you’re there, do you come across other patients at the same time? Do you sit in the same waiting rooms, or anything?

Wesley Ray 1:01:59
So when you first get there, the office is kind of small, so you don’t see anybody in the office. Like, they bring you in, you bed, they watch you to the back, they give you a shot. You leave outside the office, like in the main lobby of like, it’s a big building. So there’s other business, businesses. But that’s why I met the couple from Sweden, though I had just got sit out there fill out this paperwork. And so I filled out the paperwork, and they were like, would you for this? I was like, Yes. Like, this is our fourth time, so we get to talk for a second.

Bill Gasiamis 1:02:39
You did talk to a few people. Okay, so your results were positive, but you also saw the negative results in other people on YouTube, I imagine comments that people said it didn’t work, or that to scam.

Wesley Ray 1:02:55
And they say that they’re like, we, before they schedule you, they said that they’re like, hey, like, this helps everyone differently, right? But they told me that, like, when I talked to them about the deficits, they were like, we’ve seen improvements and a lot of that, like, but we can’t promise you anything. It’s stem cells was kind of the same thing. They’re like, there’s a good chance you see nothing, okay, but there’s a good chance that helps.

Vision – Voice – Patience

Bill Gasiamis 1:03:27
So you feel like you’re very informed when you go in there. There’s no pretending that you’re definitely going to get a result, that you’ll be 100% after this, and there’s none of that. It’s very transparent that it may not work.

Wesley Ray 1:03:40
And let’s be honest, like, if you’re looking at that as an option, you’ve probably obsessed over and then you research and watch videos. It’s not like a impulse thing of you stopping at McDonald’s to get ice cream, like, like, beforehand. You know what you’re going into beforehand?

Bill Gasiamis 1:04:05
Yeah. What a journey, man, looking back, how have you changed? Well, clearly not. We’re not talking about physically now. But what about you as a person, emotionally and mentally?

Wesley Ray 1:04:21
I’m definitely way more patient, and I’m because of the patience, like I have to be nicer. I can’t get upset. I can’t let things bother me. For one, if I do, my hands will start shaking really bad, but because I have to do everything so slow now and talk so slow, and all of that, I became way more patient, and that I used to be a fighter. I would fight all the time. I can’t do that now. I physically I can’t fight. So it’s like, Why send anything at all? Why get upset? Why. Get mad when I can’t really even do that anymore.

Bill Gasiamis 1:05:04
No, you have to be a lover.

Wesley Ray 1:05:07
Exactly.

Bill Gasiamis 1:05:09
That’s good, man. That’s good. So you you were strong, right? Muscular, physically, you could push through anything. What strengths, internal strengths did you find that you didn’t know that you had.

Wesley Ray 1:05:26
I’ve always kind of been a cool person, like, now, like, long term goals, but like, what’s the next thing I can do? What’s the next thing I can look forward to? So it was for a while. Was okay. I want to, I want to be able to walk and want to, I want to be able to do the stairs. I want to be able to feed myself. Want to be able to go to the bathroom. Then it was okay. I want to be able to, I want to do a 10% and then it was okay, I want to get a Tesla.

Wesley Ray 1:06:07
So I always had something to look forward to, and always had a deadline. So I announced I want to be able to do 20 push ups by October 5 my kids spring break, because I’m taking them to the beach and I want to be able to do Tony push ups. So that’s my goal now, yeah.

Bill Gasiamis 1:06:31
So it’s a lot of just doing what always worked for you in the past, continuing to do the things that worked, because they seem to somehow get you there. Having the goal is a massive thing, like just even if you don’t reach it by the deadline, having the goal is huge, because somehow everything seems to line up to start getting you working towards that goal.

Wesley Ray 1:06:55
Well, you don’t reach it when that time comes to try hard, harder, or at least I try harder, if I might, hey, I want to get 15 of this by Monday, and Monday comes, I might admit 13. Okay, how fast can I get to 15? I If I push really hard, I get to 15 by Wednesday. Okay, I hear you.

Bill Gasiamis 1:07:19
Yeah, good. So previously, you would have defined yourself as successful, I would imagine and happy.

Wesley Ray 1:07:27
Before the show, outgoing and social.

Bill Gasiamis 1:07:30
Yeah. How would you define yourself now?

Wesley Ray 1:07:33
Bridge struck, I had tons of people around me. Like, there’d be eight or nine people around me, like, at all times I went, I went on vacation, there’d be six, 810, of us going on vacation. I went to Disney World Two years ago, and I took my kids, my wife, my friend, her kids. Like I took I took my friends kids, and we all went to Disney World. Like, everything was a big group. I wanted everything to be a story, a memory, that you could tell and make.

Wesley Ray 1:08:10
Like, yeah, I didn’t care about the money. Like, okay, you want to bring your friend that’ll help you have good time. Okay, cool. Yeah. I will figure out a way to make it work.

Bill Gasiamis 1:08:24
How do you define that? Now, that type of you know, what makes you happy? Now? How do you define success?

Wesley Ray 1:08:31
Now, just trying to give as much time and be make the time go by as fast as possible, until my kids come back home school for the day. I’m like, Okay, it’s 11 o’clock, okay. I could go to the gym and blame my phone until 230 and then they’re home. Yeah, they come back on a Sunday night, Sunday so I’m like, Okay, I’m going to the bonus up on Thursday.

Wesley Ray 1:09:06
I’m going Thursday night, I’m going to see my old the people I used to work with. I haven’t been there in a long time. Friday, I have depart a Friday avatar appointment in the morning, then the podcast with you. Saturday, I plans to go do something. So it’s like, every day I’m just trying to, like, pass the day, yeah, so they come back.

Bill Gasiamis 1:09:29
But the circle is smaller now. There’s less people hanging around.

Wesley Ray 1:09:33
99% of people you I never saw again, like my best friend at the time, like he was always out of town with us. He he’d be boring cars. He’d stayed my house, like I remember when I went to Mexico, he stayed in my house with my kids to watch my kids, like he was always there. And then I had this truck and never saw him again. I was. Start to him, like, a year after a year, I was like, Dude, what happened?

Wesley Ray 1:10:05
And he was like, I have nothing to it’s all up, but I have nothing to offer. Offered you. I was like, I have no clue what that means. And so 99% of people disappeared, and the 1% that didn’t you would have never thought, Yeah, interesting.

Bill Gasiamis 1:10:25
That’s such a common so like the experience.

Wesley Ray 1:10:29
The friend that took the daughter to Disneyland a year or two, a couple years ago, they live a couple hours away. They’re not close, but since, since the struck, they’ve they’ve came and saw me a bunch of times. They came to the hospital a couple times me, and the one guy, he just came pick me up and took took me to Memphis for the night so we can see comedy show, and went to a casino, and all of that, like certain people have stepped up a lot, but it’s not the one George would have thought.

Bill Gasiamis 1:11:07
That’s always the way, always the way.

Wesley Ray 1:11:09
I thought my wife would be on this journey with me, would go through this together, yeah? She’s like, it’s too much.

Bill Gasiamis 1:11:18
Yeah, fair enough understand.

Wesley Ray 1:11:22
But you would you mess with you, because people are like you saw him. It’s too much. You’re too much like going places after the first hospital, I never got to go nowhere. Yeah, I was also it’s too much to take you out of the house. It’s too much for you to go now, so, as always, at home, book for months of and didn’t really go anywhere. And I remember it being around Halloween, and we went to a pumpkin patch and and she let me go, and I thought that they weren’t going like I got to the carpet, easy.

Wesley Ray 1:12:04
I got back easy. Like the Witcher on the gravel rocks was kind of hard for them, but because I couldn’t propel, because of my hand, I can’t I can’t propel, um, but I thought, like we had fun. The kids had a blast. I got to be included. I was really happy. We got home and I was like, I love today. Like, and she was like, today sucked. It was too much. I was like, damn.

Bill Gasiamis 1:12:37
Right, right, right, yeah.

Wesley Ray 1:12:39
So you get that in your head that you’re too much, you can’t go anywhere.

Bill Gasiamis 1:12:43
Yeah, you’re a burden.

Wesley Ray 1:12:47
Yeah, understand. It’s kind of like my little brother. He came randomly. He was like, hey, I’ll be there tomorrow. They just bought a Tesla, and so drove to the house. It was like, Let’s go somewhere. And I was telling him, I was like, I can’t. It’s too much for me to go anywhere. Like, I can’t. It’s like, Dude, I will pick you up and kill you outside and put you in the garden. We’re going somewhere. And so I remember we we got an escort. It’s really easy to go out there and get in this car. We’re getting this car. And all we did was go to Chick fil A, you know, and went to Walker.

Wesley Ray 1:13:29
And she bought me, like, deodorant and stuff. And just like, he’s like, here’s some snacks, here’s some candy. He’s he’s like, and the whole time, like he did this self driving the Tesla the old time, and never touching anything. He’s like, Dude, you can do this. You can do this. And he’s like, it’s not hard to take you anywhere, like, you legit walked out to the car with the walker.

Wesley Ray 1:13:57
All I had to do was pick the walker a bit folded up. Like, yeah, it’s not you’re not hard, it’s not bad. Yeah, that would have been the next day he took me to physical therapy and all that. And so then I started saying, like, okay, maybe, maybe it’s not so bad. Maybe it’s nice too hard.

Bill Gasiamis 1:14:18
Yeah, that’s good, man. That’s a a good contrast that you needed by the right person, and looks like the right person came along at the right time. Stroke affects everybody, obviously, not just the person who had the stroke. And you learn about other people so much when you in a very difficult situation and people have to make a decision, do they step up, or do they, you know, step back? You know, you know what happens. You really learn about people. And it’s kind of good that it teaches you about what’s deeply inside of people.

Bill Gasiamis 1:14:58
It comes to the surface and. The ones who were all good around for the good times only, they really get worked out really quickly so you can move on. You could just let that lesson come and then move on.

Strength Without Burden

Wesley Ray 1:15:15
Like I said, I learned really quick, like I took the gets to Chicago for Christmas, and let them do all the tourist things and pretty much whatever they wanted to do. I let them do and, like, it was costing a lot every day, like, a whole lot, but I was like, okay, like, I can go to the bathroom by myself. I go to bed like a lot of things in Chicago were multiple level. As I can go up the stairs, I could go to the ice cream Museum. Yep, I can walk. I can do the museum like I’m not restricting us is helping us from anything. Then use the Witcher till the last day, because they forgot me.

Wesley Ray 1:16:04
I didn’t have medicine for that day. He got lost or something. So when the medicine worked, like, I couldn’t really do anything at that point, but, but I, like, I didn’t ask for, will they get any help? So I was like, okay, good. Like, I didn’t hold anybody back. It wasn’t a burden. Nobody had to help me, yeah. Like, it’s all good. Like, to me, I we had a blast. We would went to the slime Museum, went to the ice cream museum. We did all these things. We saw all the things in Chicago you’re supposed to see like, the big bean and the bull and all that, and like, they would get home.

Wesley Ray 1:16:50
And I’m talking about, I was like, like, I think I did really good. And my daughter was like, You did great. You did awesome. And my ex wife is like, I didn’t have fun. She’s like, it was too much. You walk up and putting a walker in the car. It got heavy after a while, I had to do other driving because you can’t drive. And I was just like, like, I thought I did good. Wow.

Bill Gasiamis 1:17:22
Talk about making it about her instead of you, like for that time, because most of the time she doesn’t spend with you, so you could have been, all right, all right, to kind of put her stuff on pause for a little while, just to make the exact family experience Okay, to make it about the kids.

Wesley Ray 1:17:39
And then it gives you, like, a false sense of reality. Like, I told Brandon my brother that that came, like, I told him I was, like, it’s too much me to go places. It’s too much my walk away from which is, like, digital workers, like, seven pounds, yeah. Like, I’m not worried about the walker.

Bill Gasiamis 1:17:57
Like, it just goes to show the difference in people’s behaviour.

Wesley Ray 1:18:03
My walk aways a lot. This is hard, this too much.

Bill Gasiamis 1:18:07
People cope differently. They manage difficult situations differently, and they have different levels of resilience. And, yeah, and it’s probably traumatic and emotional and all sorts of things. Well, you gotta see.

Wesley Ray 1:18:23
For me, it was like, Okay, I moved to here, and everything is close by. I can walk to target, I can walk to home goods. I can walk to Chick fil A, like I said, there’s a I signed up with the gym. That’s like a half half mile walk, yeah, and that’s what I did every day. I work out, sleep in because I have nothing to do, and it goes the day. So I sleep in and then be like, okay, the kids get on my 230 Okay, let me go to the gym. Get busy, even if I take my time and I play on my phone. Have to tell me the gym, at least I’m there doing something.

Bill Gasiamis 1:19:01
Yep. So joining me on the podcast, what was the point of that? What was the purpose to help other people, get the message out there, encourage people.

Wesley Ray 1:19:11
I know there’s a lot of curiosity. Like when I started watching a podcast, I just wanted to hear people like the recovery process. Like, wanted to hear people what happened when they started it, and where’s that now, I really wanted to hear people’s experience with a tenor set curiosity, best stem cells, but I don’t think I ever heard that on your podcast, but so I was like, Okay, I get both. I got attorney said and stem cells, yeah, and doctors told me what, I will never recover. And I have I’m not perfect, yep, not, I’m not. Stopping either.

Bill Gasiamis 1:20:02
Yep, the recovery keeps going. Everything continues.

Wesley Ray 1:20:07
And you hear that a lot like, Oh, you have six months, you have one year, you have to get better. After that it stops. Yeah, no. I just went to a one year for me was in March. I just went to, I just upgraded to the game a month ago. I’m trying to do puss up, not the gym. At the gym, I can almost do everything I can. I did the wrong machine. I get on the treadmill like, Yeah, I’m trying.

Bill Gasiamis 1:20:42
Yeah, you’re doing a great job, man, if you could share one lesson from your stroke journey with somebody who’s been newly diagnosed, what would it be?

Wesley Ray 1:20:54
Just don’t give up. Make short, obtainable goals so you keep, keep going forward, forward. Don’t like, I know you have this drug in there, but it’s like, I want to walk. I want to walk. Want to do this that’s too far away. There’s so many short things you can focus on to help you get there. Like, so for me, it was, I want to be able to feed myself. That’s That’s simple. I can do that. I want to be able to go upstairs with a hand rub, like nasty. I want to be able to do push ups, like short, obtainable goals.

Bill Gasiamis 1:21:41
And then they stack up, they become big wins over a long period of time, yeah.

Wesley Ray 1:21:47
Then you look back and you’re like, Okay, I got it. It’s intercept, okay, I got this stem cells, okay, I got this Tesla, okay, I need something now to work for it. Okay? Now what to do? To push ups like, it never stops, yeah, it’s always something obtainable that I know I can get to. Versus like, hey, I want to get better. It’s too broad. You can’t, you can’t measure that.

Bill Gasiamis 1:22:19
Yeah, it’s too broad? Yeah, you have to focus on something small, measurable, attainable, and then stack that up many, many small, measurable and attainable things make a big improvement.

Wesley Ray 1:22:32
And see when they get to the hospital, they said that a lot though, like, like, the therapist and the doctors that came in, they’re like, because there’s a bunch of us there and they’re, like, if you go and ask people their goals or what they want to achieve and accomplish with you, like, the aiming for the moon, it’s all like, a big part spectrum. So like, but you have short things that you can measure and get there fast. And then you you have steps like, yeah, you’re not trying to get to the top of the mountain. You’re trying to get to the next step.

One Step, No Regrets

Bill Gasiamis 1:23:11
The next step, yeah, you rack up the winds, and then you look back to see how far you’ve come. You reflect, and then you focus on the next step. And it’s always it’s like the what’s the first next step, rather than Yeah, how do I get to the top of the mountain? It’s overcome the challenges as they appear. Don’t try and work out what all the challenges are, because there’s too many of them.

Bill Gasiamis 1:23:34
Just the ones that you need to work on are the ones that appear in front of you, and for you, you work on those you got results. You proved people wrong. You were encouraged along the way. Some people didn’t turn up, some people left, others stepped up. And here we are. We’re talking on the podcast. You’ve had a tenner set. You had a good result. You had stem cells. Yeah, not so bad. Maybe something’s going to happen later.

Wesley Ray 1:24:00
These stem cells. I’ve had friends. I’ve had multiple friends get them for, like, some injuries and like joints to make them feel better and stuff like that. And they, they loved it and sore very obviously, I can, I can’t really feel the left side, so I can only feel half anyway. So it might be working on this, I don’t know, yeah, but one of the, one of the main things that they told me about this stem cells, is it takes a while. It’s not like the antenna said, where they give you the shirt, and it works. It works or doesn’t.

Wesley Ray 1:24:37
Yep, the stem cells there’s like, they were like, they were, like, it could take five or six months, like, everything is slow, and so I’m at the one month mark. Yeah, I’m glad I tried. I don’t feel it. Feel it right now, but I’m glad I tried it, because if I didn’t out in my head, I would be like, what happened if. I didn’t try it, or what happened if I would have tried it? The same thing with the thinner set, when they got the second shot, I was like, a big part of me was like, I shouldn’t get the second shot. It sounds like waste of money. And I was like, okay, but if I don’t get it, I’ll always think, what if?

Wesley Ray 1:25:21
So again, but I did because I think it, it did a lot more than the first shot for what I wanted. The the first shot helped, but the second shot did a lot more noticeable things that I could notice. Yeah, if I could do it all again instead of right now, instead of the stem cells, I would have got a third shot of between etanercept, okay, cuz they’re about the same price, so I’d rather gotten the third shot of 10 or six, and that might now okay.

Bill Gasiamis 1:26:05
I really appreciate you a reaching out. I’m so glad my podcast has helped, and that you found some things to go after when you listened. Thanks for joining me and sharing your story. I really appreciate it. I love your attitude. Thank you. I wish you all the best in your recovery.

Wesley Ray 1:26:21
Hope is a powerful thing.

Bill Gasiamis 1:26:23
Yeah, man.

Wesley Ray 1:26:24
Just keep hope.

Bill Gasiamis 1:26:28
Thank you, man, thank you for joining me. I really appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you. Well, thanks again for tuning in. That’s another episode done. Remember you are the hero of your recovery. My job is to simply guide you with stories, strategies that prove recovery doesn’t stop, unless you stop. If today’s conversation with Wesley Ray inspired you, here’s how you can take the next step. Grab a copy of my book The UnexpectedWay That A Stroke Became The Best Thing That Happened. Just visit recoveryafterstroke.com/book.

Bill Gasiamis 1:26:59
You can join my patreon community and help me get to 1000 interviews with stroke survivors. You can subscribe on YouTube Spotify or Apple podcasts so you don’t miss future episodes. And before we wrap up, let me remind you, if you’re struggling with hand function after stroke, the Hanson rehab glove by so Rebo, distributed by Banksia tech, could be a game changer.

Bill Gasiamis 1:27:22
It’s designed to help improve movement at home, you can keep making progress between therapy sessions, and if you want to check it out, you’ll find the link in the description. I’m Bill Gasiamis. Recovery is about showing up, doing the work, and refusing to quit. That’s how you win the day. I’ll catch you in the next episode.

Intro 1:27:42
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