Hypnotherapy to quit smoking.
Has smoking caused your stroke? Are you desperate to quit smoking but haven’t yet found a way? Are you afraid of what might happen if you have another stroke?
Sometimes in life, we pick up a habit early on in life that goes some way to solving a problem that we are experiencing and keep applying that solution regardless of whether it still has a purpose for much longer than is necessary.
Helen Mitas is a clinical Hypnotherapist, NLP master trainer, Author of Mindset Dominance. As a founder of Hypnofit, she helps thousands of people become emotionally mentally and physically fit through her take control, live a strong mind reprogramming Hypnofit Hypnosis Program.
To learn more about Helen and the work she does visit hypnofit.com.au and helenmitas.com
Transcription:
Intro 0:04
Recovery After Stroke podcast. Helping you go from where you are to where you’d rather be.
Bill 0:14
Hey guys, Bill here. Just before we get started with the next episode of the podcast, I wanted to have a quick chat and let you guys in on where I am in the world at the moment. I’m coming to you from Positano in Italy. It’s a place that my wife has dreamed of coming to and spending some time at for many years now.
Bill 0:37
And a little while ago, before we actually had the opportunity to be here, I went through a couple of challenges myself my own health challenges, and then we lost somebody that was close to us in the family. And we’ve been putting this trip off because circumstances haven’t made it possible for us to be here earlier.
Bill 0:59
Now. We’re finally here. And getting here wasn’t easy. Because even though it might seem to a lot of people that it’s very simple to go on a holiday, you just plan it, you put things in place, you bought the accommodation flights, etc.
Bill 1:16
Believe it or not, I had to overcome a lot of my own doubts, a lot of my own challenges, and a lot of my own issues to get to this point, and some of those doubts and challenges may not have been anything that was that appeared too difficult for some other people. But for me, it certainly was in a place that I wasn’t aware that was stopping me.
Bill 1:41
So basically, what I’m trying to say is it was there were some challenges in my unconscious space that I wasn’t aware of that was stopping me from getting here, and most of those things, when I look back, were potentially old beliefs, or potentially things that I picked up from others. They weren’t necessarily things that I truly believed and thought that that’s how I needed to live my life.
Bill 2:04
So what I’m trying to say was, I was being influenced by others to stop me from doing things that I would get a lot of satisfaction out of, and my wife and family would get a lot of satisfaction out of, and when I discovered that these things were going on, it was somewhat challenging because now I was aware of things that I didn’t know of in the past that were interfering with my decision making. And then I had to overcome them, I had to find a way to overcome them.
Bill 2:40
One of the things that I did to overcome some of my limiting beliefs and some of my challenges was I’ve been and done some work with a hypnotherapist, and that’s what today’s episode of the transatlantic podcast is about. It’s about hypnotherapy, and you’ll get to get an insight you into how hypnotherapy can work to help you overcome some of the challenges that are occurring in your life that you might not be aware of.
Bill 3:10
Now, there is no doubt about it, I am totally wrapped and glad that I finally found a way to overcome all my challenges, whether they were monetary, or whether they were physical or emotional, or regardless of what they were, I’m totally wrapped and now I’ve got to experience this part of the world that I’ve only ever seen on postcards or brochures in the past.
Bill 3:35
So I’m not sure what challenges you’re going through or what you want to overcome. But if you are going through some challenges and you do want to overcome and you’ve never tried hypnotherapy, then haven’t listened to this podcast.
Bill 3:48
My amazing guest is going to give you some great insights and she’s had a lot of success, helping people overcome challenges. So enough for me right now. I’m going to go back to the beach and get my feet wet. And I’m going to let you guys listen to this amazing episode.
Bill 4:10
Today I have Helen meet us. And Helen is a clinical hypnotherapist master NLP trainer, and the author of mindset dominance. As a founder of hypno fit she helped thousands of people to become emotionally, mentally and physically fit through her take control, live strong mind reprogramming, hypno fit hypnosis programs.
Bill 4:37
Good day Helen.
Helen 4:38
Hello, a bit of a mouthful, isn’t it?
Bill 4:41
It’s a bit of a mouthful, but that’s alright. I think people get the idea of what you do. And I’m curious, there’s a couple of words that I’m not going to pick on you about that I picked up on here. You’re a clinical hypnotherapist, and I want to know what a clinical hypnotist First is am I going to end up leaving this interview? clapping like a chuck every time someone mentions my name today what’s going to happen?
Helen 5:07
It’s funny that you know that’s the first thing people think that we do you know, any therapy but I guess the difference between a hypnotherapist and a hypnotist is a hypnotist will do that for you. And certainly hypnotherapist are trained to do that as well.
Helen 5:23
But as a hypnotherapist, we actually bring hypnosis and therapy together so that we help people, you know, eliminate the habits and addictions and so on that hold them back in life and help them move forward to what it is that they actually want. So, so we combine you know, hypnotherapy, hypnosis and therapy together hence, a clinical hypnotherapist.
Bill 5:48
Okay, hypnosis and therapy.
Helen 5:50
Together. Yes, we use hypnotherapy for people to achieve what they need to in life with hypnotists. They’re the ones that are on stage and really their purpose. To entertain. That’s, that’s what they do is to make people laugh. And yeah, that my purpose, although I’d like to see people laugh, not solely so they can laugh It is so that they can feel really good about themselves.
Bill 6:13
And then be happy. Right?
Helen 6:14
Exactly and be happy. Correct.
Bill 6:16
So when somebody comes to you, though, do people come to you? And they know exactly what they want to fix? Because sometimes people come confused, right? Tell me about how people come to you.
Helen 6:28
Yeah, that’s a really good question bill. So, in fact, what people mostly come for first, so usually people come from come for the purpose of their symptoms and their symptoms might be alcohol dependence. It might be smoking, it might be overeating, emotional eating, and so on. And so that’s what they come here for they come so that those symptoms can be eliminated.
Helen 6:53
But most of the time, there is something underlying at the subconscious level which needs to be resolved. First, so we get rid of the cause, and then we deal with the symptoms. So people don’t usually come some do. But people don’t usually come to that they can love themselves as an example. But yet usually, that’s what we need to achieve. First is we need to help people respect themselves love themselves so that they don’t end up doing those self sabotaging behaviors afterwards.
Bill 7:27
Right. You mentioned the subconscious. What’s that? And how is it different to the conscious? Because some people might not know what the subconscious
Helen 7:34
Yeah sure. So we have, uh, you know, we have the conscious mind and that is our logical, analytical mind. So when I’m talking to you, now, we’re talking consciously. So we’re focusing on what we’re saying. But the thing with the conscious mind is that it brings up blocks, there’s a lot of our backs. I can’t do this. I can’t do that.
Helen 7:55
There’s a lot of limitations, our subconscious mind is what has underneath the surface, so right underneath the surface, it’s when we do things automatically without thinking. So if you can think of an example, for instance would be, when you first learn to drive a car, and you consciously focus on where you put your hands, you consciously focus on the mirrors that you need to look at, you’re consciously focused on what’s going on around you.
Helen 8:22
But after a period of time, you’ve done it so many times that it becomes subconscious. You do it automatically without thinking and then before you know it, you’ve driven from point A to point B and you don’t know how you got there, it was all subconscious. And you’re still driving perfectly, you’re still automatically looking at the mirrors automatically focusing, but it’s just all happening underneath the surface.
Helen 8:46
So what happens underneath the surface at at the subconscious level are all our habits, all our values, all our emotions, and that’s what holds us back. For moving forward, so we can, for instance, consciously say, okay, tomorrow, that’s tomorrow, I’m only going to have good carbs and proteins and I’m going to exercise as soon as I get up consciously we say that.
Bill 9:14
I’ve said it a few times, Helen.
Helen 9:15
Yeah. But subconsciously, something else happens. And you get back into that old pattern of old program. So, all those programs are held at the subconscious level.
Helen 9:28
Okay, so what’s your, in your experience? What’s your sort of feeling about why these things occur? So habits like smoking, over eating, drinking, I know that they start off sometimes I know that I started smoking when I was cool, right? Yeah, of course. And then I had to have a drink while I was being cool to refresh myself.
Helen 9:49
Yeah.
Bill 9:50
So smoking and beers kind of went together. But what do you feel is the underlying cause of why people pick up something, do it a couple of times, and then turn it into a habit
Helen 10:02
to and then continue. Well, it’s interesting that I found that with smoking as an example, it’s different to over eating and completely different. So with smoking, it does tend to be the reason that you just mentioned, very rarely is that does it start because of emotional issues, it usually starts because it was just cool to do it.
Helen 10:24
And that’s what everybody else did. And so you start doing that with your friends. That’s how it first starts most of the time. With other behaviors such as other addictive behaviors, like emotional eating, it’s usually the reverse. It’s usually that it’s a crutch, it actually gives you that instant satisfaction and makes you feel good, temporarily
Helen 10:46
And so people started that from an earlier age when things were not going the way they wanted them to. And they’ve continued to do that. When things you know, when things are not all well in their life. So emotional eating usually stems from having some sort of crutch that they need to use so that they can cope with what’s going on in their life.
Helen 11:10
And in terms of drugs, it can be all sorts of reasons. It could be that, you know, they were traumatized when they were young. And so it really is just a blocking out of what happened in the past. Or it could be that it started, you know, with friendship groups as well.
Helen 11:25
So, it all depends. But usually with people that are on the drugs, it It certainly is much more difficult to to get offered. And so we need to revisit as to where they were at that point in it in their life, and how we can help them feel empowered moving forward.
Bill 11:47
So when you say you need to revisit, you need to revisit the event that began them down the path. How do you go about revisiting the?
Helen 11:55
Yes, so we do that. A lot of people say I can’t remember what happened in my childhood. But it’s all there. So our subconscious mind if you can imagine, it’s like, you know, if you think about your laptop, your PC, and all those files that are in the archive files, they’re not immediately apparent to you, when you turn on your PC, you can’t see them instantly, but if you go looking for them, you can find them.
Helen 12:17
So all our memories of it, so even people who say to me all I won’t be able to do that, because I don’t have any memory of my childhood. You can, I can be guaranteed that they will, when they when I hypnotize them, they and that I’m accessing and talking to the subconscious mind. So we go back to what we call the is, is the initial sensitizing event, which led them to where they are today.
Helen 12:41
So there is usually a series of events in the first seven years of their life in their formative years, where we do need to go back not not go right into the event necessarily in really the event, but see it from a different perspective and get our learnings from that event.
Helen 12:59
Does that make sense? because no matter what happens in our life bill, and this is something that people find it very difficult to grasp, but so important that no matter what happens, no matter how negative the event, there is something positive you can actually take from that event.
Bill 13:15
Yeah, I certainly have experienced something along those lines in the past, but with a couple of my own challenges and health issues. It’s definitely a new way of sort of seeing things though. How, how easy is it for people to come from? That was a terrible event. It’s really affected me really badly. What’s the positive they can get out of something that’s really traumatic?
Unknown Speaker 13:40
Yeah, well, consciously they it’s very difficult. So I don’t do that consciously. I don’t do that just by talking to them too difficult. So we do it when they’re under the state of hypnosis, where they don’t have the barriers where I can easily remove blockages.
Helen 13:53
That’s how it happens to me easily and effortlessly whereas with you know, if you’re just sitting there talking to someone about them finding a positive out of them being sexually abused as an example, there would there would be an enormous amount of resistance about that.
Helen 14:12
And they wouldn’t be able to find a positive there’d be too many blocks in the way. But when we need gnosis, those blocks are removed and believe it or not, even with sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, there is something that they can gain and take as a positive that they can use in their future.
Bill 14:30
Yeah, I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but could something like how can those the people that have experienced sexual abuse help others that have experienced that now that they are wiser and older?
Helen 14:43
Exactly.
Bill 14:44
Okay.
Helen 14:44
Something like that. But I never suggest anything to them. I never suggest this is the beauty about hypnotherapy is it’s not about what I tell them because these people that come to me did. They know they know what’s going on. It’s just they can help their behaviors. Consciously.
Helen 14:58
They know that a lot of behaviors are not logical and not helpful. So it’s not about telling them information that they already know. And that’s I guess the difference between someone who’s going to a psychologist where there’s conscious work being done and someone who comes to hypnotherapist it’s about unblocking, what is inside them.
Helen 15:20
So I see myself as a facilitator, where, you know, I see the subconscious mind of each individual as all knowing and all wise, and has all the answers already. It’s just that I help them access those answers. I help them access their own internal resources.
Bill 15:39
So some of the words what would very briefly some of the words around helping somebody come up with a way to see a positive in a traumatic event? What would be some of the words that you use that don’t suggest anything? How, how would you sort of say that in a in a situation with somebody in hypnosis.
Helen 15:59
So when I take them to where they need to go. And they’re looking down at that event, I would ask them, what’s the to learn? What’s it to learn from that event, the learning of which will allow you to let go of this emotion easily and effortlessly. So your subconscious mind when you need in the future, it’ll be there for you to learn. And with your older, older eyes, your wiser eyes, what else is there to learn? So that might be one one way.
Bill 16:28
It’s beautiful, right? It’s not putting your version of the world and trying to implant that in their version of the world because it’s just not going to happen, is it?
Helen 16:34
No. And that’s what I love about my work more than anything. I love that. It’s really about, you know, helping people be in touch with their own internal strengths, their own internal resources that have been there all the time, but they just never knew it. So that’s that’s what I love more than anything in the world is that aspect of my work.
Bill 16:55
Yeah. And as a result of that, you can then work with people from a Any background you can work with people with any challenge? Correct? Is there some people that you really love to work with? I know that you love to work with everybody. Yes, there is someone that you really, really love to work with.
Helen 17:13
Yeah, I really, really, really love to work with adolescents and young adults who suffer from depression and severe anxiety. So, I really, really, really love working with these people, my heart just burst with joy and love, because they come to me. And you know, quite often they quit school, they’re not going to school very often not able to have a part time, you know, part time work, this social network is limited.
Helen 17:40
They have such incredible limiting beliefs about what they capable of. And when I see them, I see that potential. So I see what what is underneath the surface from the very first session, and I love, you know, seeing them at the end of my program where they’ve achieved that. So they’re wonderful to work with. lots of reasons.
Helen 18:01
One is that because they’re younger, they actually are really easy to work with. Their mind is very, very flexible. And it goes very easily to where I want it to go in terms of, you know, seeing their life in an empowering way rather than, you know, a being being a victim to their life. And so it this is this is my greatest joy is to help young adults and adolescents with depression and anxiety for sure.
Bill 18:31
Yeah. Tell me about So does it often then your the work that you do lead to stopping depression anxiety becoming really chronic later on in life? So what I’m trying to say is the people that you notice that you’re dealing with in your in their 30s and 40s, would they have sort of potentially avoided some of those challenges in their 30s or 40s had they realized that maybe Some type of intervention was worthwhile in their adolescence and early sort of adulthood.
Helen 19:06
Yeah, absolutely. It’s about it’s about them, almost having a different set of eyes. So because they’ve seen their past differently, so it’s completely reframed, and they’ve seen the past in a different set of eyes. They, they, the challenges that present themselves in the now are also seen differently, and therefore the challenges that come into the future.
Helen 19:27
So there’s a couple of things that happen. One is that if we don’t resolve the issues from the past, for instance, if we feel angry about something that happened in the first seven years of our life, we don’t realize that we feel angry about that still, but we do. Because if we talk about it, an emotion comes up. And then every time I’ve experienced anger after that, it actually all gets connected.
Helen 19:51
So that the next time something happens in our life, we’re not just reacting for that event. We were acting to all the events prior to that, where we felt that emotion of anger. And so that’s when we have what many people see as a overreaction. When really, there’s no such thing as an overreaction. It’s a reaction. People think it’s an overreaction, because you’re, they can’t understand or see what else you’re reacting to.
Helen 20:17
But in fact, there are so many other things that you’re reacting to not just this event, it’s just that this event is a mega event that just gets added to that. So with the work that we do, we clear the past, so that the event that happens now they’re only reacting to that event. So my whole aim for all my clients is that any negative experience that they’ve experienced in their life is just a story.
Helen 20:46
There’s no emotional connection to that story. It’s just a story. So I want them to be able to say this is what happened. This is what happened. This is what happened and no matter what it is, there’s no emotion that is true resolution. So many people think true resolution is where they don’t think about the story, but they’re coping fine.
Helen 21:07
But then once they think about it and talk about it, then this emotion comes up, which means that they haven’t really resolved in the first place. So I want them to be able to get these get their story, put it in the light, see it for what it is talk about it. And it’s just a story to which brought them to where they are today. That’s that’s my goal.
Bill 21:30
So I don’t so you’re telling me that my my overreaction on my reaction when somebody hasn’t loaded the dishwasher is actually not really that bad?
Helen 21:40
Yes, I’m saying that there’s no such thing as an overreaction. That term just makes no sense. It’s just your reaction to all the other times a dishwasher wasn’t lying.
Bill 21:53
Yeah.That’s awesome. That’s awesome. That makes me feel a lot better. I’m gonna go out of this interview and I’m gonna hug somebody instead.
Helen 22:00
Exactly
Bill 22:02
Your business name hypnosis suggests something else other than the type of stuff we’ve been talking about already. Tell me why hypno fit is.
Helen 22:14
So hypnosis It is about being emotionally fit mentally fit and physically feet. Because the mind and the body, as you know, is connected, there’s no separation of the mind and the body. And the reason that my work is different say to somebody who just goes to a personal trainer to get physically fit is that, you know,
Helen 22:33
I deal with the mental and emotional issues behind that. First, you know, or at the same time as a personal trainer would. So we have to be emotionally fit, we have to be mentally fit, and physically fit. So we need to all those three areas need to, you know, come together so we can achieve our goals. Does that answer your question?
Bill 22:57
Yeah it does, so some people will come to you, they will be overweight. Is it possible that they’re not aware of the emotional part of their sort of challenged, they come to you saying, Hey, I’m overweight, I want to lose weight. I’ve been running. I’ve been doing all this stuff. I don’t feel better about myself. I’m not losing weight. It makes me eat more. It makes me do all this sort of stuff more what goes on? Like, does that happen?
Helen 23:26
All the time people come. You know, there are two groups of clients that come here for weight loss. And about 85%, which is the vast majority the overeating because there’s a, there’s a reason that they’re using food as a crutch. And we have to get rid of it as a crutch before we can help them.
Helen 23:45
There are about 15% a smaller percentage were really they just got themselves into bad habits where they just started to do the same thing over and over again, but everything else in their life is quite rosy. So I deal with with that group differently.
Helen 23:59
The other group, so there’s no one size fits all. So the group that just come to me and I can see that really, they’re quite happy with every area of their life, but they just got themselves into some bad habits. We just deal with the habits, but with the other group, which is the biggest group, and we need to go back and resolve all the unresolved issues so that I can keep making the same, you know, mistakes again over and over again.
Bill 24:24
When I first started looking at my, my health after I had some my own health challenges, one of the things that I wanted to give up while I did give up immediately with smoking, but it’s pretty easy, right? The doctor said like, you’ve had a blade in the brain, your third one, you gotta have brain surgery. It didn’t take me that long to end up quitting smoking.
Bill 24:48
I quit after the first first incident which was you know, three years before the surgery. But prior to that, I said many times that I wanted to quit, you know, conversations with my family with my friends. You know, we, we did it all the time I sit all the time. But it never, it never got to that point where I was actually able to be, for lack of a better word strong enough to actually follow through, you know, the, you know, the New Year’s resolution, I’m going to quit smoking this year.
Bill 25:17
And then like at one minute past I’m having a cigarette to, yeah, bring the New Year in. So what’s the difference between somebody who gets to that point of I’m quitting now and never smokes again. And the person who comes in and says, I’m going to quit 15 times before they even come anywhere near quitting.
Helen 25:37
Yeah, that’s really, really good question. So basically, they need to really want to end to really want to the pain has to be usually it’s the pain that needs to be enough for them to quit smoking. So you had reached that point.
Helen 25:51
When you when you got when you became unwell and you needed surgery, where you could see very clearly as to what would happen to you if You didn’t stop smoking right now the pain was at that point where you had to stop the pain wasn’t enough early on. That’s why the younger people, they still aren’t connected to that pain, it’s still a faraway, sort of outcome.
Helen 26:16
To get emphysema to get cancer, they really can connect to that pain. So you need to connect to the pain. And what we do with hypnosis, we actually do take them down that path. At the subconscious level, we take them into the future, what will happen if they remain a nonsmoker? And we really make it very clear one year from now, five years from now 10 years from now 20 years from now to the point where they have absolutely no doubt as to where they will be.
Helen 26:45
They don’t make that decision right now. So the pain needs to be enough for them to say, let’s see. Another example would be you know, I had a client who you know, was A big drinker. And he wanted to stop smoking, not just sorry, stop drinking, not to stop, not just moderated.
Helen 27:06
And it was to the point where he had fallen out of his car. He’d nearly died. You know, he risked, you know, his children or having a father, but to the point where he said, That’s it, I just can’t have that happen. So usually some sort of big event, like a catalyst that’s brought them to me for those sort of addictive behaviors.
Helen 27:27
As a big drinker, she had fallen down and hit her head, you know, at a big family wedding. And not only did she feel the pain of all of that, but she was completely and utterly humiliated and embarrassed and that really extreme humiliation, acted towards, you know, pushing her to make a final decision to say yes, that is bad enough. That is really bad. I’ve got to stop this right now.
Helen 27:52
Whereas if you’re just you know, drinking a little bit too much and you feel a bit foggy in the morning and you’re not getting to do your exercise, you might not feel You know, the real reason as to what you need to stop that behavior.
Bill 28:04
So, so often we can not have enough motivation early on when we’re trying to quit? Is that what it is?
Helen 28:13
Yes, there needs to be a really big why. And that’s why we smokers or anyone else. You know, I don’t take on clients where it’s not them that wants to do it. For instance, quite often I have parents who bring me their adolescent, teenagers.
Helen 28:32
And, you know, the parents might be throwing their credit card at me, literally, because they want to do anything for their children, of course. But if I can see that, that and less than or that teenager really wants to do this, then I’m not taking them on as a client. Because it’s not a forced process. It has to be that they’re in the position where they really, really want to get well.
Helen 28:54
And if they don’t, then there’s no point. Yeah, I’ll see them when they out later. Perhaps, you know, some time may need to pass before I see them but it has to be the day in that point in time where they’ve made the decision that they want change. They don’t know how to change but they want it.
Bill 29:14
Well, maybe I’ll just give him a bit of a handy bit of information here and now that we’ve we’ve got them and they’re paying attention to us. I was 37 when I had the first blade in my head. I was a strict drinker and a smoker and those things although they weren’t the only things that I did that contributed to that definitely played a massive role in making my blood vessels weak because smoking and drinking in combination.
Bill 29:39
They do damage the the blood vessels and cause bleeds right for a lot of people. And if you’re somewhere near around the age of 37, even if you’re a few years off and you have smoked and you’ve been drinking heavily for you know a number of years by the time you get to 37 I had been drinking for 10 years and not Heavily but enough and smoking for?
Bill 30:05
No, I’d say I’d been drinking for 20 years, Helen and smoking for at least 25 years, on and off. That’s what kind of ends up happening in that getting those things catching up with you in botany on the bum, as they say, Yeah, cause so maybe you guys reconsider what it is that you’re doing if you’ve never reconsidered it before.
Bill 30:25
And for the young smokers, there’s plenty of people in all the hospitals throughout Melbourne in the world that will have experienced a stroke in their teens and in their 20s. And a lot of the time it’s got to do with, you know, their habits, the food habits, and their, you know, extra curricular habits like smoking and drinking, so maybe that’ll help stay motivated.
Helen 30:50
Absolutely. Because, you know, then I just, I would never imagine just like, you would never imagine that this could possibly happen to you.
Bill 30:57
Yeah, I looked fit. You know, everything looked Find on the outside and everyone, everyone even in hospital sent to me, but you don’t look sick. Well, I couldn’t be more sick than I believed in the brain. It was probably as sick as one person can get. And then and that was the challenge after that was trying to convince people now I really am unwell. And you guys need to pay attention because it’s not just about how you look on the outside, whether you run go to the gym, do any of that stuff. You still could be doing a lot of damage inside.
Helen 31:27
Absolutely. Yup.
Bill 31:29
You made a little comment there before when you were explaining that last point about exercising in the morning. Can you tell me and I’m gonna get to that in a moment, but I want to know what made you get into hypnotherapy?
Helen 31:47
Okay, Ah, that’s it. That’s a different story. So what made me get into hypnotherapy was around about 19 years ago, I had a massive change. In my life, and that challenge led to depression and severe anxiety for me. So what happened was that I wanted to leave my husband and I had a small child. And I have I come from a family.
Helen 32:16
That’s great separating background, youngest of five, divorce just does not happen in our, in our family. And the difficulty was that the person I was married to is actually a really nice guy. He really was, you know, like my mother said, What’s your problem? He doesn’t, he doesn’t. He doesn’t eat you. He’s not an alcoholic.
Helen 32:37
He doesn’t smoke. He’s a really good provider. What’s your problem? And that was the difficulty was that he was a really nice guy, great provider. Fabulous father. But I had came to a point in my life where I couldn’t imagine oneself growing as a person with him anymore. So he hadn’t changed. But I had, and I struggle.
Helen 33:06
And so it took me a good four and a half years to actually get the courage to do that. And I was petrified of being a single mother, I was petrified of leaving the security of my life. And I, at that time, because there was no Google, I was looking at the newspaper and there was an ad in the newspaper, which said, Are you feeling depressed, overwhelmed as if everybody has a say in your life except you?
Helen 33:37
And I thought, oh my god, these people understand me. Yes, that’s me. I have no say in my life because everybody I was the youngest of five. And so my, my brother and my sisters were much older than me that it was like having five sets of parents lectures coming from everywhere.
Helen 33:51
They all thought that I was going crazy and that you know that we’re doing everything I could to keep the family together because they were thinking I was making the world mistake of my life. And especially, you know, for the sake of my son painter who was very little at the time.
Helen 34:07
And so I went to this magnificent place. Every Thursday night, I would take myself there, and we would have group work and it was run by a clinical psychologist. And at the time, he did hypnotherapy, but it wasn’t, you weren’t allowed to say that. So back in the state of Victoria at the time, you could not know I could say that if the therapy was against the law.
Helen 34:35
So I never knew he did that. Because we would go on these incredible retreats like two day retreats to Sorento, and he would do this group hypnosis on all of us, and it was the most incredible changes that would happen, and he caught a guided imagery. It was then it was only later on that I worked out that guided imagery is actually a technique that belongs in the hypnotherapy, Family.
Helen 35:01
So he did group hypnosis on us, but I just didn’t know. And I had such incredible change, I became a stronger person than I ever become before. For once, you know really made my own decisions about the course of my life, because prior to that everything was pretty much black and white for me.
Helen 35:20
Like I had to go to uni, I had to get a great job, I had to marry this type of person, I was going to have two children. I was going to live in this suburb. So it was all mapped out and it was all going to plan until I had this crisis. So for me to be able to cope with this crisis, I needed this intervention in this work.
Helen 35:41
And I came out the other side feeling incredible and strong. And that’s when I decided to change my physical appearance as well. So I became mentally strong and I wanted my physical appearance to show how I felt inside so then I went on this quest to become fitter in my 40s than I had ever become in my 20s by doing the challenges that I’ve never imagined possible.
Helen 36:08
So then I became obsessed and, you know, almost addicted to exercise and the endorphins that you get from doing lots of exercise and feeling good about yourself. So, you know, that path of self empowerment, you know, took me to a place where are, you know, working in corporate 22 years. And, you know,
Helen 36:35
I came to a point where I thought I just can’t do this for another 22 years, you know, like, there’s no meaning in this work. I’m, I’m a senior consultant. So I had a fabulous job. Well Respected, you know, project managed million dollar projects, but I was becoming increasingly dissatisfied with my purpose being to add to the bottom line of big oil.
Helen 36:59
Organizations like Telstra, NAB ANZ and all the rest of them. That’s what I was doing was helping them get better, better and bigger profits. And certainly, you know, there’s no problem with that happening. That’s great that they do. But I didn’t want that to be my mission in life and I couldn’t, couldn’t handle the thought of doing another 22 years because it occurred to me that I was halfway in my working life, that I would still have to work another 20 to 25 years before I could retire.
Helen 37:29
So then what happened was that I found out about a lady in my consultancy company, whose name is Casey Edwards who left the consultancy company wrote a book and the book was called 30 something and over.
Bill 37:51
Anyone, can anyone relate to that?
Helen 37:54
Yes, and I was older than that. I was 40 something but I was truly over it and you know, they were talking about going to her book launch. And I thought, oh my god, I have to read this book. And so the next day I went and got the book. I didn’t know her because she had already left the business, but she worked in my consultancy company.
Helen 38:17
So the book spoke to me because everything she said was my world. And it was about her finding her baby, and talking about finding your baby that you need to nurture in life, your purpose. And at that point, I thought, I don’t know what my purpose is. And so I started to become very mindful of what part of my day made me happy and excited.
Helen 38:42
And as I was sort of watching myself going through my day, the parts of the day that I enjoyed the most were the conversations I would have in the tea rooms, with colleagues, who you know, would say oh, you know, I can do this and I would help them and save them. Yes, you can you can do this and, and then come back to me and tell how and you wouldn’t believe it.
Helen 39:07
But this is what I’ve done usually to do a physical exercise or something like that. And then I thought, oh my god, this is my baby, my baby is to help people overcome their perceived limitations, just like I had with my own life. And so then it was the question of how I do that. I can’t just talk to them, there’s got to be some more powerful way to help them get over that line.
Helen 39:33
And you know, once you’re open and receptive to your new path, the everything will just come to you naturally, you don’t even have to seek it. So as soon as you’re in that frame of mind where you’re open and you’re receptive, and you know that this is not the right path,
Helen 39:49
I don’t know what path is, but it’s another one. And then you get closer and you get a little bit closer and it becomes more clear, more clear. So it’s not like, Here I am working in corporate and the next down you have to be with me It wasn’t like that. I had to try.
Helen 40:02
Like, I thought maybe I need to be a personal trainer. So I went to spoke to all those fitness people. And then I wait, actually, it’s not me. It’s not about training people physically. It’s not. It’s not I won’t get joy out of that, you know, other people would, but I wouldn’t. And and then you just do something else and make Oh yeah, this might sound like this would be and then you get closer and closer and closer to living your purpose and living your dream, which is what ended up happening for me.
Helen 40:31
So that’s, that’s how I became a therapist. I did all the training, out of hours, all my study and an hours and started my business added hours. And when I look back, I don’t know how I did it all because I worked full time studied and started the business. But when you suddenly have a fire in your belly, all these things are very, very possible.
Bill 40:56
Sounds familiar, And it looks like my There’s a lot there to learn for a lot of other people that are considering making that leap from whatever they’re doing that they’re not enjoying. And they’re gonna start enjoying doing.
Bill 41:09
And for those that are listening who are, you know, roughly our age Helen, you know, above 40 imagine a time when there was no Google. And people that are listening that have always had Google, there was a time when it didn’t exist.
Helen 41:27
It’s funny, isn’t it? I can’t even believe it. But I actually had to find this information through a newspaper.
Bill 41:33
Oh, no, go figure. Oh, my God. That sounds like a really cool story. Right? I really appreciate you sharing that because I know a lot of other people will relate to it. So other than that, first kind of initial sessions that you went to with that person that took you along those guided trips?
Helen 41:54
Yes, I did with that Institute, yes
Bill 41:58
I what I was gonna ask was it Anything else, but it sounds like you did heaps in four and a half years, I didn’t realize it was that amount of time,
Helen 42:05
It was that amount of time to take me to from what I was, you know,such a stuck place. I just couldn’t envisage doing what I really wanted to do. I saw too many barriers and too many limitations. It was it was something that I just couldn’t imagine.
Helen 42:22
So I had to go from there to actually doing it. And it took me that long to do it. And so therefore with with the work that I do, because I didn’t have any one on one, people therapy work on me, it was all it obviously takes longer when you’re in a group and, you know, and so on. I take him through that process so much quicker, obviously.
Helen 42:41
So now I stayed with me for four and a half years. We don’t need to do that kind of work with people therapy. We can do the subconscious mind works so quickly that you can massive changes and shifts can happen in a very, very, very short period of time.
Bill 42:55
Yeah, so you just want to bring them in and help set them free.
Helen 43:00
Yeah, absolutely.
Helen 43:01
That sounds awesome. So now I follow you on Facebook. And I and I noticed some of your posts and they’re inspiring and some of them are quite challenging for me to see, especially when I noticed that you’re on holiday, you’re on a cruise. And you’re taking selfies of yourself running around the deck of the ship. What’s all that about?
Helen 43:26
Yes, so that’s what my book mindset dominance is all about that it’s all about not negotiable activity. So obviously, like everybody else, I preferred to, you know, to just to stay in my cabin. It’s always ready to get up. And you know, bill that in on that cruise that you saw, there were 2000 people.
Helen 43:47
And there was, there was a boot camp that was running every morning just how many people in that boot camp one at the ad was one which was just me. It started off with five on the First day, by the second day, it was two.
Helen 44:03
And then by day four, it was one. And yeah, that’s right. It’s about doing what other people are not prepared to do. So it’s about not just hoping, wishing and wanting to be fitter and stronger, or that you can fit into, you know, a particular size jeans but actually doing something.
Helen 44:23
So you know, how people say quite often are to be that people I’d kill to wear that size dress, what are you wouldn’t, because you haven’t,
Bill 44:33
So we don’t want them to do that specific.
Helen 44:36
No, what we do want is for you to get uncomfortable is for you to do the things that you don’t want to do is for you to you know, put put, you know, not think about your immediate pleasure, but think about your long term pleasure.
Helen 44:50
So for me, I didn’t want to come back from that holiday, you know, carrying an extra six kilos because I could see the pain of that when I came back. So I would rather come back feeling really good and energized, it didn’t mean that I missed out on stuff. It just meant that I started the day with a really good, strong mental attitude.
Helen 45:10
And I was ready for the for the whole day to enjoy my day and perhaps to have the kind of indulgences that I would normally add because I had incredible huge training session in the morning. So it’s all about sweating first, so you can enjoy your life later. And, you know, those kind of endorphins. They’re unbeatable in terms of how it feels when you when you’re feeling that good.
Bill 45:35
Yeah, that helps you get through the rest of the day. But what would you say to people that have got injuries though, and they want to be more fit. So they might have an ankle injury or a knee injury? And there’ll be a lot of people listening that have gone through that. And they’re just sort of struggling to get back to, you know, either coming with a concern about the injured knee or the whatever.
Helen 45:55
Yeah, so the first thing, the first thing is like eating Is it? Is it a real limitation? Or is it a perceived limitation? The reason I say this, for instance, you know, one of my clients who I had to talk to, like in a public talk, she said to me are, I’ve got such bad esmo that my doctor said, I’m gonna let it do more than fall back to the oval.
Helen 46:16
I thought the doctor would know that like four laps, like with that number come from, it just sounds like a really conservative number. And so she’s always had in her mind that she can’t do more than four laps. Well, after getting my talk today after she texted me and said she did 12 laps is no problem. So immediately tripled what the doctor said was okay, not okay.
Helen 46:37
So that’s the first thing is is it really is it really because I have a lot of clients who come to me with what seems to be a fact but really is an excuse. So is it really true that you can’t do a certain activity? Is that really true? That’s the first thing. Secondly, if it is really true, for whatever reason, you aren’t actually injured and you can’t use that part of your body.
Helen 46:59
There would be Another part of your body that you can use, I’m sure of it because I have been injured many, many times during, you know, the last 15 years. And there’s always something you can do, there’s always, you know, there’s always something else you can do, whether it be swimming, or bike riding or push ups or just using upper body, there’s always something you can do to move your body.
Helen 47:22
So that’s what I would say that there is something else that you can do, you may not be able to do what you think needs to be done, but there is something else that you can do. I always always have like a backup plan. So if I can’t do something, what else can I do? There’s always I’m always thinking ahead as to what it is that I need to do to get my exercise done.
Bill 47:44
Awesome. Awesome. So tell me a little bit about what you’d say to somebody who’s trying to do it all on their own, because I know a lot of people will go down that path. I’ll make the decision to I’m going to try and do it on my own. Okay, I can’t do it. Well That’s enough. What do you what do you what do you tell people who sort of failed on their own a couple of times?
Helen 48:06
It’s interesting that people think they’ve got to do things on their own. Because I’ve never done anything online. Nothing. So anything I’ve achieved, I’ve achieved with assistance, and we’ve helped. So, you know, when you think about my very first biggest challenge, which was, which was, you know, it sounds like it’s not an achievement, but for me it was, which was to do what I needed to do and leave my first marriage.
Helen 48:30
I went, like I said, to the formula Institute and got that assistance that help, I couldn’t have done it on my own. In terms of getting physically fit, I got a personal trainer couldn’t have done it on my own in terms of launching my business, and, you know,
Helen 48:48
I could have sort of struggled on my own, but there’s no way that I could have left the corporate world behind and had a successful business without a business mentor big corporate. I didn’t How to run a business. And so now I’m a business mentor myself. And I show other people how to run their business.
Helen 49:05
So I’m every step of the way, even if you know, in a recent example, you know, because my business employs my husband full time. So he left corporate to come and assist me. And working together and living together. 24 seven brings its own challenges and all like, hey, even though I’m a therapist, and I do couples counseling as well, I need someone else’s help.
Helen 49:27
Somebody went to couples counseling. So I always to me, the way that I say ability is if you’ve got a problem, find a solution. There is somebody out there who can is bending. There’s someone out there who’s done it, there’s someone out there who can help. So whatever it is that’s going on in my life, that there’s a gap for I will find the person who can help me to solve that gap because we’re not supposed to be living in caves on our own.
Helen 49:54
We’re supposed to be you know, the human race was was started off as you know, one became And that’s how they lived, you know, in primitive times, where you know, they would share the big kitchen. We’re supposed to help each other. We’re supposed to get inspiration from each other, we’re supposed to get support. And then it’s a good thing to ask for help.
Helen 50:16
So I always ask for help in every area of my life, and I just implore people to do the same that you are not supposed to do it on your own. Don’t do it on your own. Someone else can help you. So that’s what I would say,
Bill 50:30
Brilliant. I love the sound of that. And it’s true for me as well. Every time I’ve needed to achieve something I’ve had to seek out somebody who’s done it before me has got some insights and wisdom into the challenges that I might have to overcome the pitfalls or that type of things so that it makes my ride a little less bumpy.
Helen 50:50
Exactly, exactly.
Bill 50:52
It’s been awesome. Awesome. I’m getting to chat to you and getting to know you through the last 15 keynotes. So I’m curious, Helen, if somebody wants to find out more about what you do your book or any of that stuff, where is the best place for them to go?
Helen 51:11
Okay, depends on who they are. If they want to hear me speak, it would be my Helen modest Comm. website. You know, that’s my umbrella website lm wireless comm has all different parts to it in terms of speaking mentoring and so on.
Helen 51:26
But if they want help with afflictions such as depression, anxiety, weight loss, it would keep my feet would be the best one so haitch y p in order OF i t hypnosis calm today. So either of those sites will get them in contact with me.
Bill 51:46
Awesome. And your book. Can I get that from those sites as well?
Helen 51:50
Yes, so that’s that books called mindset dominance. And you can see that on the hill and line of sight or even on the mind for dominance site. So Yes, most definitely. And yeah, that’s where they can get that.
Bill 52:04
Awesome. Helen, thank you so much for your time. I really appreciate it.
Helen 52:07
Thank you so much for interviewing me. I really enjoyed our chat. That was so much fun.
Bill 52:12
Hey, guys, I hope you enjoyed that episode and that interview with Helen. She’s an awesome lady in person. And one day if you get the opportunity to look up her work, and meet with her, I’m sure you’ll agree. If you liked this episode of the transatlantic lounge podcast, go across to iTunes and leave us a five-star review that will help others discover the show and could help make a positive change in their life.
Bill 52:38
Also, if you found this interview helpful, and you know somebody that needs to hear this, do please share it with them by posting on Facebook, Twitter, or other social media sites that you frequent. It will help me reach people that are in need and could make all the difference in someone’s life that may be doing it tough at the moment Until the next episode of the transit lounge podcast. Thank you so much for listening.
Intro 53:03
The presenters and special guests of this podcast intend to provide accurate and helpful information to their listeners. These podcasts can not take into consideration individual circumstances and are not intended to be a substitute for independent medical advice from a qualified health professional.
Intro 53:21
You should always seek advice from a qualified health professional before acting on any of the information provided by any of Recovery After Stroke podcasts. This has been a production of https://recoveryafterstroke.com/ Check out our page on Facebook and start a conversation by leaving a comment at https://www.instagram.com/recoveryafterstroke/. Subscribe to the show on iTunes and check us out on Twitter.
