Brigette Sigley was juggling a successful business and family, and being busy led to her missing the warning signs that eventually led to a brain tumour then breast cancer.
04:05 Brigette Sigley had two major health challenges
08:49 The Symptoms
13:24 Brigette’s three types of Superwomen
19:12 Self expectations
22:38 Brigette found out she has breast cancer
28:49 The life changing decision
36:00 Brigette heard a voice
44:09 Bill’s experience
55:35 Letting go of control
All of a sudden I felt this like pea-sized lump underneath my left arm. And although the water was hot, I like it, I suddenly felt this cold inside of me like, I just knew that something wasn’t quite right. And I find myself in front of the the breast surgeon and she’s telling me that I had grade three breast cancer and it’s in all my lymph nodes.
But then old Brigette shows up again and she says, okay, but how quickly can you fix me? I like I’ve got this company to run and three kids and this just doesn’t suit me. I mean, how often do we do that? We just want a quick fix, right?
This is recovery after stroke with Bill Gasiamis, helping you go from where you are to where you’d rather be.
This is Episode 94 and my guest today is Brigette signally. In the past, Brigette was the ultimate Superwoman juggling a successful business and a family. However, like many of us, she didn’t see the warning signs that eventually led to a brain tumor and then breast cancer. 10 years ago, Bridget went on a transformational journey which began with overcoming her health challenges and later finding her purpose and training to become an integrated health coach out of the Institute of integrative nutrition in New York.
Brigette’s passion is inspiring women to get off the hamster wheel and to reignite their life so they can experience more peace and fulfillment and to avoid stress-related health crisis like the one she went through.
Now just before we get started, I wanted to let you know that you can download all the words of this episode as a PDF. It’s perfect for you if you prefer to read and take notes or highlight different parts of the interview for future reference. It’s a great way to learn and it helps retain new information to memory. Just go to recovery after stroke calm, click on the image of the episode you’ve just listened to. And at the very beginning of the page, you will see a button that says Download transcript.
Click the button, enter your email address and the PDF will begin downloading. Also, if you love the recovery after stroke podcast, and you think that it is helpful to other stroke survivors, please share it to your communities and tell others about the podcast so that they may benefit too. If you are watching on YouTube, please give us a thumbs up and leave a comment.
I’d love to hear from you and other stroke survivors. And I answer all comments personally. Go to iTunes, or your favorite podcast app and leave a five star review. Finally, if you think you make a great guest and have an inspiring stroke recovery story to share with our community. please get in touch Just send an email to [email protected] and I’ll make it happen. Now it’s on with the show.
Brigette SigleyWelcome to the podcast.
Thanks, Bill. Thank you. You know, we’ve known each other for a long time, haven’t we? And so thank you so much for having me back, I guess.
Yeah, it’s been a while you were one of the very first few people that I interviewed on the podcast, and I think that was nearly four years ago, something like that. So it’s really good to catch up with you again, although we catch up regularly out of podcasts, you know, not in the podcast world we catch up in person
We do we do.
So just to remind people who may have not listened to the early episodes. Of The recovery after stroke podcast. Can you tell us a little bit about what happened to you?
Brigette Sigley had two major health challenges
Sure. So 10 years ago now, I had two major health challenges. And one when I was 35, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor at the base of my C two. And then five years later, I was diagnosed with breast cancers, grade three breast cancer, and it was in all my lymph nodes and because of those things that sent me on this journey to understand what was causing my body to go into these health challenges, and then basically how can I stay alive to you know, to be there for my family, and see my kids grow up. So I went on a journey. And here I am 10 years later.
Yeah, it’s so good that you’re here. I mean, we met, I’m pretty sure we met something around about five or six years ago at a public speaking, gathering. And you were there for same reason I was it was to learn how to get in front of people and share the message so that we can support people in their recovery.
And be kind of a guide to them so that they don’t have to go through things the way that we went through things and as badly or as dramatically, or I don’t know what the term is, right? But at the time you were a mum, yeah. And a wife and a business lady. Tell me about the family life and the things that you used to do on a daily basis before the universe told you you can’t do these things anymore for now.
Yeah. So, my life used to be one of, I was busy all the time on the go all the time. So I was running a business in the city. I had three small kids. You know, every moment was Go, go, go, go go. And, I felt this incredible responsibility for both my business and my family. And what I didn’t know at the time was that my actual my stress hormones were turned on all the time because I never stopped.
So, I would go go go and then you know and even to do that I would wake up in the morning, I would take a Berocca to get me going. I go and do some exercise. And you know, I’d go off to work by about three o’clock. I’d be needing a bit of sugar to give me a boost and a coffee. And then at night I get home and I’d wind down with a wine at night.
And I do the same cycle every day. And I also felt this overwhelming responsibility that you know, we had these kids, but my job just didn’t end when I got home, it was like, Okay, well, what are we eating for the next week? I was so much more capable of I felt I was so much more capable of doing things. So I would just run around and do everything at home as well.
So this is how I live my life. And a lot of people, friends would go oh my god, you know, you’re like, Superwoman, you just can do all these things and like, deep down, I made me feel like really prepped to you know, I can just get all this stuff done. And I just used To think that everything would be alright I just create more time I just do things for longer.
But little did I know that it was actually having this effect on my body. And I refer to that term Superwoman. Because these days, I coach a lot of women that were very, very similar to me or similar back then and how I was. And so it got to this point, and I guess, you know, maybe if I just share Bill, a couple of my turning points, you know, because there were messages along the way. And you talked about the universe. There were the messages along the way that I was ignoring.
And the first thing that happened was, I just had my first child, and I had a profitable business, and you know, everything was going well. I was running my business. I have my child as managing that. But I had this crazy, crazy, incredible pain in my neck to the point that I know that this sounds like ludicrous to anyone else, but I used to be popping Voltaren, like on a regular regular basis every day, thats an anti inflammatory yes, and I’d be popping these pills daily.
And I need to go for a run at four in the morning like, just to get my neck moving, so it would be pitch black. And just so that I could move my neck so I could look down at my, you know, Zack was only six months old. I find myself off having an MRI.
And, you know, Bill that something’s really wrong. When the doctor actually calls you. How often do they call you after you, very rarely. So, I had my MRI and then the doctors on the phone as I’m like leaving the carpark and he says, Can you pull over and buy blood thinning tablets? And, and the next morning, you know, I find myself in front of Professor Kaye, who is a neurosurgeon.
And he tells me that I have this brain tumor, the size of a golf ball on the base of my top of my neck face of my brain. And the thing that comes out of my lips was, how quickly can you fix me, you know, I’ve got stuff to do. I’ve got this business to run. I’ve got my child, to, you know to look after. They give 60% 40% chance of being able to walk again in that, and I’m just devastated.
I remember actually. So I was 35 at the time. And I remember actually sitting there and writing my will out on this little scrap of paper the night before. They do the operation, and he says you know, I want you to rest for, you know, for weeks, and I think I can do this in two weeks. And it was like I put my, like, throttle down and I was back out there doing my invoicing.
And, and, you know, and it was just the way that I looked at life was that life was about doing as much as possible and at all times, and I didn’t know any different. So there was that warning sign then that hey, something’s not right. And my body was trying to give me a message. But I wasn’t listening.
That was a message and a half Brige and stroke survivors will relate to this, let me tell you because I was similar. I had the first bleed in my head, and I ignored it. Seven days. And then the doctor said to me go home for six weeks do nothing. And of course, you know, I did as much as I could in that six weeks because I had a business to run as well.
And I had guys running around and I was doing quotes and I was doing all sorts of things, you know, many stroke survivors will relate to this and I know, with women, and my experience with my wife is that there’s obviously there’s, really a time with her. She’ll say, no, I can’t do that. Or I’m not I’m too busy or I haven’t got time for you or whatever.
It’s very rarely that she’ll say, I need to do something for myself or if one of the kids butt in or interferes at that time, or I do, and I’m not being aware that she’s had a massive day or she’s really tired and I need to give her time and space to herself, if I’m not aware, and I also butt in and I say something, she would just drop everything that she was about to do for herself and she’ll just get on to the task to make you better, feel better, happier, whatever. Do you relate to that as well?
Brigette’s three types of Superwomen
Yeah, yeah. You know, so these days Bill, I work with women that I call Reforming Super Women, and there’s three types of Superwoman. So the first type is Miss perfecto. So Miss perfecto feels like no one can do anything as well as they can. That whether it be it’s just quicker at work if I do it, because I know how to do it or at home no one vacuums or wipes the benches quite like I do, or mop so I’m just gonna do it.
But then they’re left feeling like frustrated and angry and empty because they have no time you know, which is all kind of going on in their body. The second type of super woman is what I call Mother Teresa and, Mother Teresa, maybe this is a bit like your wife bill is that they want to help everybody else and be there for everybody else.
They want everybody else to be happy and to live the best lives that they can possibly do. So that they will do anything to make that happen for other people and they get a lot of joy out of doing that. But consequently, they put themselves at the very bottom of the piles so often they’re left really empty and exhausted.
And then the last one is Miss indispensable, so Miss indispensable knows, you know, everybody rings her, like, if the children can’t find their socks, then they ring or if they’ve lost something, they ring and work or ring and say, you know, how do you do this or that or, and they love it because you know that they’re the source of this information and all this power and it kind of gives them adrenaline because, you know, I think later on we’ll discuss the science too, but they get this power trip out of doing it and inside of them, it’s energetically lifting them with adrenaline, and so they get used to that sort of addiction.
And that was probably me, Miss indispensable. I kind of loved being needed. I loved the fact that everybody would come to me, you know, and I could rattle off. You know, how many people find me today and all the stuff that I kind of got done?
Did you like that as a kid? Does it creep up on you? Is it something that you always had within you? How did you get to that point where at 35 you were this person? And then, and then there was also something else tied to it. So maybe it was partly, and you can tell me, I’m just, I’m just guessing, but maybe it was partly your upbringing or the way that you were as a kid. But then also there was money associated to it as well, because then at work, you got to reward for what you were doing. It wasn’t just personal praise. It was also those you know, dollars associated to it.
Yeah, I think I think for women these days, it’s very challenging. You know. We’re taught that we can have it all and I am going to show you how you can have life balance, and you can and everything flows more easily and I’ll finish my story with that as soon but I think we’re brought up in a society where perhaps our mothers that they were at home and that they ran the perfect house and they put food on the table and we had all these variety of meals.
So we saw that right? So in my case, I grew up with that and my mom worked part time. But then, you know, I was told, I could do anything and have this fabulous career and then children came along and, and it was like, oh well, this part inside of me that says I want to be this nurturing mother and feel responsible for these children, and husbands and stuff, so I’ve just got to find a way to do it all, no one teaches us, you know how, how we say no or with grace or how we ask for help at times, and how we can do some action in a much more easy way, not from a kind of frustrated vibrational place. So, they’re the things that we deal with in this modern world as a woman.
So you get sucked into the narrative and both of them, okay, when I say something, I’m not saying it in a negative way, but you get sucked into the narrative of this is how I’ve grown up and this is how I see a mom’s role in a home because of my example with my mum, and you also then get sucked in with the the movement that’s about empowering women to be employed and employable, and successful business people and all that type of thing.
And then somehow you forgot perhaps that there was maybe supposed to be 80% of 1 20% of the other or 40 60 or something like that. And you try to do 100% of 1 and 100% of the other. And that’s, way too much expectation on yourself. And of course, were you successful in both of those areas where you successful at being the type of mum and wife that you want it to be as well as the type of business person you wanted to be. Did you find one was lacking? Or were you doing both of them really well?
So I actually I felt so my business had grown and I had these kids, but I felt like I was failing at both because I felt so guilty when I was with the kids. Because I, you know, I had this business and we often there be issues that would come up. And then and they’d say, Are you listening to me mom and, you know, which you know, is a typical kid, but really, I was never really present.
And then and then this responsibility that if I didn’t do that, what would happen with our mortgage? And so it was this constant thing of, I’ll put all of that off. And I’ll just make more time until my second you know, my big aha turnaround point. changed all of that, I guess.
Yeah. Well, that’s amazing. I, I relate to a lot of what you’re saying because I’m, you and I are very similar. Although I’m a male You’re a female. I do have all of these issues as well, a lot of men will relate to this. But I think men can do the the work thing better than the women thing. And I’m not saying in the way that they succeed or how good they are at work in that we can leave our kids behind.
Yeah. And I see and I would agree that men in general are able to focus on solely one task at one time. And yes, there’s lots of jokes about that. But the reality is when we can just do that one thing at one time, and then think about what’s next. We create so much better outcome. Yeah, can I share with you Bill, my next turnaround point because I guess that might help your listeners and your viewers to see where they’re at.
So after 35, 1 one child, the way that I looked at that was life short that is for living. I’ve just got to get out there and do more, create more. And so the business got bigger. And then I had three kids. And I remember it was I was turning 40 and it was this autumn morning and I just come back from I was training for this ultra long triathlon.
Brigette found out she has breast cancer
Yeah, so there’s another thing that you know I added in there training for this and and I hopped into the shower and I’m like scrubbing up. And then all of a sudden I felt this like pea sized lump underneath my mind left arm and although the water was hot like I suddenly felt this cold inside of me like, I just knew that something wasn’t quite right.
And I find myself in front of the breast surgeon. And she’s telling me that I had grade three breast cancer and it’s in all my lymph nodes. But then old Brigette shows up again and she says, okay, but how quickly can you fix me? I like I’ve got this company to run and three kids and this just doesn’t suit me. I mean, how often do we do that? We just want a quick fix, right?
So she says, No worries. You know, we can get you into chemo. We can start chemo this is really serious. We can start chemo and so you know, six rounds of chemo and then two blood transfusions. I find myself back I’m sitting in front of her again. And I figure we’ve beaten this, you know, I’ve done everything that she said, I’ve even started I’d taken myself off to the gola cancer retreat for 10 days during that time because I kind of recognized that maybe I needed to do something.
I’m sitting there ready to high five her and she says Brigette, the treatment hasn’t worked. And the aggressive breast cancer has actually spread. And we’re going to now need to do Vasectomy and, reconstruction.
And I just at that moment, I felt like so angry and so frustrated, because here was this very, Superwoman, needing to control all my outcomes, and suddenly I didn’t have an answer. And so I remember coming home and and going into my meditation room and I just surrendered and what I mean by that is I let go of all the thoughts about how and what I should do next.
And I just surrendered and I asked if there’s a God out there what do I do? This gets really woowoo now just before my timer went off cuz I set like a little timer just before the timer went off. I heard this big booming voice say don’t let them take your lymph nodes and it was like this male voice so my logical mind goes these chemo drugs speaking I’m going nuts. And I got rough and say I’ve just heard this big male booming voice and say don’t woowoo with my lymph nodes. And he’s gone.
So anyway, I’m on the trolley to go into theater, because it was all happening in the space of five days. And I’m just doing my deep breathing exercises with my eyes closed. And I hear that voice again. Don’t let them take your lymph nodes. So, I think that there’s something you know, like, my being my inner gut is saying there’s something in this, you know, I need to do something and so they open the theater doors and I want to say something and there’s like bright lights and there’s 20 people and I just, I just can’t.
I wake up after an eight hour surgery, and they’ve taken my breasts and they’ve actually made a new one, but I’m bound up like a mummy and I’m feeling really sad and sorry for myself. And I’m in intensive care. And all of a sudden, I can hear this chirpy little girl’s voice, which was my daughter at the time, she was three, Audrey, and my parents had brought her in to see me.
And she says, and like inside, I’m like, really angry because I don’t want her to see me like this because, you know, I’d always been really brave and strong and, but she doesn’t see any of the tubes or anything. And little girls, you know, they they just have this way of, not saying that and she just looks into my eyes and she said, did they take your boob?
Did they make you a new one and I just felt this overwhelming love for her and for my family. And I knew deep down that I needed to find a new way to live and not just exist that if I wanted to see her get married and those that I needed to find a whole new way of living. So that was my catalyst. And an incredibly a couple of days later, I also had this, inner knowing that if I just was able to listen more to that voice, learn more about that, that I wouldn’t be able to you know, learn how to stay healthy and and to live right.
The life changing decision
So I made that decision. So I had to be still in that hospital for a week and I made that decision that I was going to put my my well being first from that moment on, and I went on this journey, and incredibly, the couple of days later that the breast surgeon came in to say, you know, the next stages, we’re doing more chemo, we’re doing this and I just felt myself saying, no, I’m not having any more treatment.
I know that it wasn’t in my lymph nodes. And she said, well, she said, the operation. We take a biopsy of all of the lymph nodes, you know, that we’ve removed. And then she came back in and guess what?
Wasn’t in there.
It wasn’t in there at the time of the operation. So, for me that having that moment of those brief little moments of being able to connect to that guidance, maybe want to understand more, and how did it all work? So I went on this journey, right? To learn and, I guess what I learned, you know, like I learned, I learned, I guess a couple of things that may help your listeners here. But that it’s not our genes that cause disease so it’s not if we’ve got the cancer gene or the cardiac or stroke gene or whatever.
It’s the expression of that gene. So what I mean by that is that it’s called epigenetics. And it’s the science of epigenetics. So, the expression of that gene means it’s the environment the genes in so we choose to turn a gene on or off so we can up regulate or down regulate a gene, depending on our thoughts and our feelings.
So, when I learned that I thought, well, if I’ve turned my cancer genes on, maybe I can turn them off, right? In this way. So I started to get really excited. And then I started to study the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza. And he and he talks about the stress addiction, and how when we just go go go over time. And it’s like, what we’re actually doing is that we’re actually sending all our blood away from our organs, like our heart, and, all those major organs and we’re sending them out to extremities, like we’re running from a tiger.
But there’s a couple of things that happen when we do that we don’t make as good decisions when we do that. When it’s always turned on like that, and long term, what happens is that cortisol levels are rising, and it’s turned on constantly and we cause inflammation in the body and then it often leads to disease. So and that’s when we’re turning our sympathetic nervous system on and I’m sure you’ve had, you know, many of your other guests talk about that, but it’s, then it was for me, okay, well, how do I that had become my normal and I didn’t know everything else felt quite uncomfortable, right?
Being still felt uncomfortable. How do I then turn on my para nervous system and kind of make that my normal? So 10 years down the track, you know, I went and studied Western medicine and as I just mentioned, the science and Eastern I went and studied with the Masters in India, I took myself off to India. I studied to become an integrated health coach out of New York and so 10 years later I want to say that I’m cancer free and I’m probably the most healthy and vibrant you know I’ve ever been.
And I also created a process to be able to help myself that I actually now coach others around and I know you had, you know, an old client of mine on recently didn’t you?
Yeah I did, Clare.
That talked all about it so and I’ve been able to turn my whole life around so that my relationships are you asked me before about you know, What wasn’t working what was failing? And probably back then I didn’t really know. But my relationships with my kids are so much stronger. Because I now have this whole new way of being able to operate.
If you’ve had a stroke, and you’re in recovery, you’ll know what a scary and confusing time it can be, you’re likely to have a lot of questions going through your mind. Like, how long will it take to recover? Will I actually recover? What things should I avoid in case I make matters worse? Doctors will explain things, but obviously because you’ve never had a stroke before, you probably don’t know what questions to ask.
If this is you, you may be missing out on doing things that could help speed up your recovery. If you’re finding yourself in that situation. Stop worrying, and head to recoveryafterstroke.com, where you can download a guide that will help you it’s called seven questions to ask your doctor about your stroke.
These seven questions are the ones Bill wished he’d asked when he was recovering from a stroke. They’ll not only help you better understand your condition, they’ll help you take a more active role in your recovery. head to the website now recoveryafterstroke.com and download the guide. It’s free.
Can you describe or tell me where in your body that voice came from? Or did it come from somewhere else? So I’m just curious about if you can pinpoint. Like, where that voice came from. And I know that you heard it like an external voice and it was booming and it was loud. But was it your unconscious? Do you think it was something within you? Like can you elaborate on that a little bit?
Brigette heard a voice
Because why I think it’s important for you to try and elaborate on that, for my listeners a little bit is that perhaps they have heard a voice or some kind of guided message somewhere in the past and have not paid attention to it. Or it has been drowned out by something else. Are you able to shed some light?
Yeah. And if I can do it from a place now, because obviously at that time, I didn’t know, right, and I just wanted to explore what was that voice? And what did that mean? So I’ll come from a place which is now 10 years down the track. So, from a science perspective, they now know that there’s a fifth dimension. So what does that mean? So a fifth dimension, it’s like, spirit and science are becoming much closer together so that they know that there is an energy and they call it the dark energy that controls and manages all things.
So all things have a vibrational frequency and plants, animals, everything have this and we interact with it. So, some in a spiritual world may call that consciousness, God, Budha. But there is a way that we can all interact with that. So how did that happen to me? How it happened was when you get quiet enough in that your thoughts and your feelings you let go of those because we’re always thinking thinking thinking.
When you get quiet enough to be able to for a minute, stop the thinking but also ask for help like one of the things is you need to ask. So at moment, I asked and said, if there’s anything out there now I need your help. So I’d let go of also my thoughts about what i thought should happen, I now need to do this, this this to control this.
And I want to give you another example here. So, one of my clients Leoni. She, when she came to me, she had these terrible, she had this back pain that she’d had for years and she was on she taken a cocktail that she’d had back surgery. But the reality for her was that she couldn’t stand for more than 15 minutes at a time.
So we went through this, process of her and I call it the reignite process. But she was able to after four weeks, she could have whole days of no pain. Now a part of this is being able to reconnect and actually then be able to see a different future for yourself as well. But she had these freaky moments, through the meditations and stuff that I did with her where she could see herself above her body. Yeah, but there’s a way that when you open yourself up and you get quiet enough that the right information comes to you to make life easier.
Does it come to your head. Where does it come from?
Ah, okay, so when I coach people around how do they know? So let’s call it guidance. All right, guidance is kind of a nice safe word. How do they know if the guidance is real? Or if it’s your head talking? It’s a good question right? So I say to them guidance comes when you have this just really strong knowing. And it’s it’s in your gut in your heart that this is right and it keeps coming back to you. Like someone knocking knock knock knock you know, you’re not paying attention.
Come on, and it tells you again, you thinking, God, I wish that feeling had gone away. So think about a time with you where it’s been. And I can tell you on this journey of, you know me coaching and speaking at times, I’ve wanted to give up but it’s like this strong No, no, no, you’ve got to keep going. And this is what you kind of you’re here to do. So it’s this really strong knowing the other thing it’s like where you wouldn’t have thought of it yourself.
So it’s like something that comes to you that never. And I’m going to give you a really out there example because remember, I’m 10 years down the track. Now this is, this is a funny story, but I’ll tell you a really quick version. So recently, I’ve got three kids and my middle son now is 14. And he plays a very high level of soccer now he’d gone into this team and it was very exciting.
And he got his kit, like, in a way kit, a home kit, with his name and all this sort of stuff. And they said, Don’t lose the kit, you know, it’s very important, you know, and he was very proud. That was the ceremony where he got the kit. So I come home and they play the first home game and then they have the trainings during the week.
And he comes to me like at the end of the week and says Mom, I can’t find my home kit. You know, meaning what he wears on home day games. You know, so the stress hormones fall It was like start to come up and I’m gonna go where did you put it? And he say, well, I would I thought I’d put it in my bag and then my husband’s coming home going, Hey lost your kit, you know, like, so anyway, we go from the top to the bottom of the house looking for this and we couldn’t find it.
So I thought I’ll just go into a meditation and I’ll ask, I’ll ask. So this is how you can use this guidance to I’ll ask so I just let go of all the thoughts and feelings you know, he’d only play one game so I didn’t know his team or whatever. And it came back that came this really strong image of this redhead boy and his kitbag, I said to McKenzie, is there a redhead boy in your team? He’s got your kit. So Mackenzie goes to the boy during training on the Friday and says mom said that God told her that you’ve got my kit. Oh my God he didn’t.
Call the crazy van.
So, the kid goes oh and you know, he looks through his bag and they don’t find the kit. However, we’re like four weeks down the track and they’d ordered a new kit and he got a new number and whatever, because of this Coronavirus, everyone’s been at home right here. And so they’ve been cleaning out cupboards we get an email from that boy’s mother.
Saying they’d found Mackenzie’s, you know, number, you know, with his number and his name and his Yeah, his day kit. So what I’m saying is that when we can get quiet enough to be able to stop the thoughts for even brief periods of time and we practice this more, and I call it reconnecting that. It opens us up to a whole different way of living where actually life can become easier.
I know it sounds woowoo, but it’s really not. And I asked you to tell me where you experience it because I didn’t want to tell you where I experienced it first. So my sense is that it’s definitely not in the head. If you can quiet in the head down, then it helps it to come alive. And with my bleed in the brain and the two bleeds before surgery.
Three years later, my head switched off, like it went offline. And then all this stuff came up for me. And I didn’t have words around that I didn’t know how to explain it. I didn’t know what was happening. But as I did a little bit more reading and a little bit more understanding about messages and about the body and intuition and all that type of thing.
I realized that again, the head switching off was a really big for me, because I was always in my head, and allowing me to just focus my energy and connect to my body allowed for those things to come up and speak to me as well. And for me, they didn’t speak to me in a voice, they just speak to me. They spoke to me in ideas in kind of like messages that were internal, that were not external that just sort of said, Go that path or follow that or get curious about that.
And as I did that, I learned more and more and I helped myself more and more. And then at that time, it was just happening more and more often because I was able to really quiet in my head down. And once you get good at it, the guidance is easy to tap into. And what I explain to people is, is that it’s just me, telling me exactly what I want to do. It’s just me, my heart telling me what my desires are and my gut telling me confirming those desires. And then helping me to take action in that space.
Right. And we know that the head is really just about giving you creative ideas as to how to do what it is that you want to do in your life and what’s important and what you love. What we love is not in our head when I tell people you know, what do you love? They don’t go to their head to come up with the idea if they say, I think what I love is No, it’s too late. You’ve already gone to your head.
So if you want to know if you want to find out what you love, you got to go to your heart. You know, that’s where love happens. When you put your head on your heart and you ask your heart to tell you what’s the most important thing for me right now. And every time I did that, when I was unwell, the most important thing was my family. Wasn’t it? It was making my relationships better. It was being a better version of myself and not hating myself.
It was letting go of all the stories I told myself about how busy I needed to be, you know, because I was a superwoman as well. I had all of that stuff. on my shoulders I’ve got to be. And my mum was probably one of the biggest influences in how our home was run. So I had to run my home At home like my mom, which of course clashed with the way that my wife ran her home because her mom had a different approach.
And then I also had to be like my dad, who was always at work and bringing home money and all that type of thing, right? So eventually, what I realized was that no matter how much money I had, if I died, my kids wouldn’t had a dad and that money, although it would have been helpful for a little while, wouldn’t have been the thing that made a difference in their life, because would have been able to get jobs and have their own money.
So, I had to check in and get that feedback as well and find out what’s important. And sometimes that feedback also guided me to seek out the right doctor to stop saying a certain doctor. that feedback guided me to take a trip or not take a trip to do a course or not take a course. And it was really amazing because for the first time in my life 37 years.
I had, I had a real way of not wasting time doing shit I didn’t love and things I didn’t love, that weren’t fulfilling that we’re just about adhering to somebody else’s ideal life or what I thought was a great life or what the Joneses were doing and all that kind of stuff, right. So I just love the fact that you had a similar experience, and I’m getting goosebumps now just thinking about our similarities.
But thanks for sharing that. I really appreciate it.
Actually, Bill just there’s a quote that I remember one of my mentors is Dr. Joe Dispenza. And he says that when we’re living by the hormones of stress, so when we’ve got that thinking brain going all the time, go, go go, we can’t receive the intuitive messages of the heart.
True yeah, that’s so true. I relate to that 100% and then when that went off, because there was a big blob of blood in my head, my brain just didn’t work and those other things came up. I remember having actual physical feelings in my heart and not realizing, and not being able to understand what I was actually feeling. What the hell is that? And at some point, I realized, Oh, that’s my heart. Like, I can actually feel it. It’s there. And I had never done that before. I had one used to beat and it kept me alive. But I never had this sensation before in my chest like it was bizarre.
And yet a lot of people are in the same boat because we’ve learned we’ve been conditioned to live our lives in a certain way, haven’t we? And we’ve always done the same thing. So doing something else doesn’t feel normal and it feels odd and uncomfortable to begin with.
this And there’s a lot of negative talk, you know, around the place about what we just can’t do, or we just labeled as woowoo. You know, but it’s not true. It’s stuff that has always been around. And it’s not that we’re saying that you should never take the advice of a doctor or I should you know, we’re not saying that if it wasn’t for doctors, you and I wouldn’t be around, you know, the medical system is amazing.
But there’s this other thing that we can fine tune and add to help us along with the medical system that really can take us as people to the next level. And that’s what I feel like I’ve become this different version of myself that I’m really proud of, not that I wasn’t before but, you know, eight years ago Brige, no one could have said to me that you’re going to have a podcast with nearly 100 episodes that talks to stroke survivors every single week around the globe.
I would have thought that’s just the stupidest thing ever. And here we are. So I just love your story. Let’s just move along now. Tell me about what’s going on for you now what’s next?
So for me at the moment, I actually have an upcoming course, that I’m running at the end of April. It’s an online course which is, which is quite fortunate for people at the moment, I think. And so, in terms of this course, it’s six weeks where, and it’s really directed for women. First of all, it’s about reconnecting. And so helping them to be able to get quiet so that they can hear those messages.
And it’s also what happens from there as they kind of get clarity on what their body’s been telling them. You know why these things actually coming up for them in that’s space and then in that part as well, we actually, I actually get them to be able to visualize a different future for themselves. Because what, where you direct your thoughts and feelings, you attract more of that to you.
So if you live in a overwhelmed land, and frustration land, then that’s what you attract towards you. So it’s being able to kind of direct your light to bring a different future. So there’s some work I do around how you actually do that, and draw that future. So that’s in that part. And then the next part is being able to leap like most people don’t actually do anything until it’s causing a real pain in their life that they don’t change until the pain, right?
So it’s actually getting some momentum to go if I don’t do this, then where will I end up? You know, what is going to be the ripple effect and for some of my clients, it’s been they’ve known that their marriage is going to break down for others, you know that they’ve had a major health concern. And sometimes it’s been stroke. Sometimes it’s been I’ve got one of my clients has breast cancer, but she knew that the way she was living her life was actually she could feel it in her heart causing it.
So it’s being able to say, all right, I’m ready to do that. And then the next part is rebalancing which is kind of all about looking at the areas of your life that are stressing you out. And maybe it’s like, work or relationships and being able to find a different way of looking at them. And finally, this is kind of the most fun part is actually reigniting you which is getting stuff in your life that you do just for you that brings you joy and helping people to make that a habit.
So in this group together, it’s going to be an intimate group together, where we’re going to, I’m going to keep you accountable so that you go through and you can follow the processes. And and you can actually action them and put these practices into your life and see where it takes you. And I’ve just had like, one of my clients recently she’s a younger woman who’s 32 with child and all those things going on feeling, responsible and never stopping but how it manifested in her body was that she ground her teeth to the point where she was breaking them off.
You know, she had to wear these like brace things at night and she would break the braces because subconsciously, she would be worrying in her sleep and it’s amazing and so she was also meant to get married on Saturday. And so she was quite overwhelmed with all of that. And she’s in a place where we’re like four weeks down the track, and she’s stopped grinding your teeth, she’s been able to do that.
And she’s like, so at peace with whatever happens with her ceremony that she knows that it will work out and how it’s meant to be. So there’s, like, some amazing transformations that can happen if people want.
Letting go of control
Yeah, it’s just about letting go of the control and just being kind of in flow with the environment and allowing things to just take their course. And that’s probably the easiest way to get to the end of the river is just go with the course just flow with the river, you know, let it take you and be aware that there’s going to be some difficult paths along that path and there might be some dangerous parts.
But be prepared for those and allow yourself the opportunity to just see the end result, which is that if she gets married, whether there’s a ceremony or not, if she gets married, whether there’s people there or not, if she gets married, whether there’s a, you know, orange balloon or not like, it doesn’t matter, she’s still married, and she still made that commitment to her husband, and vice versa. So, at the end, you still have marriage, you’ve got to let go of all of the other stuff that don’t really make a marriage.
Yeah, that incredibly, she kind of says that four weeks ago, she would have a bridezilla. You know, they had 120 people coming and all of this, but she’s in that time, as you say, got to the point where she can let go. So it’s kind of really, you know, cool stuff. Yeah. So that’s coming up the actually the other thing that I wanted to give people is that this is a free gift for everybody.
So if you have trouble saying no and maybe there’s a lot of you out there that don’t know how to say no to, you know to work or at home, and you want to be able to say no with more grace and kindness and guilt free, then I’ve got my saying no script, which is, you know, is a free gift for everybody. And so if they just go across to my website, BrigetteSigley.com.
Brige, thanks so much for being on the podcast. I really appreciate it.
Thank you so much for having me. I love and adore you so much. And it’s interesting how our lives have stayed alive, haven’t they?
Yeah, it’s been really fun. It’s been good to get to know you and to see how you’ve evolved and changed. And it’s good that somebody was going through similar things that I was going through in our evolution. And we’ve really had a lot of similar moments, you know, so it’s good to be able to share that with somebody that understands. So yeah, thanks for everything that you do. I really appreciate it and I’m glad to have you back on the podcast almost 80 or 90 episodes later.
Yeah. And thank you so much and it’s amazing and much needed that you go all around the world with what you do.
Thanks, Brige. I hope that you enjoyed this episode with Brigette. She has been a friend of mine for about five years now. It has been amazing to watch her go from strength to strength, both in her recovery and how she goes about helping other women going through difficult times. If you’d like to check out the six week online course Reignite You with Brigette Sigley go to BrigetteSigley.com and as a recovery after stroke podcast listener, you will get 10% of the full price of $495.
Discover how to support your recovery after stroke go to recoveryafterstroke.com